Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 by Stop in the Name of Pants! Page B

“Obscene language is the language of those of a limited imagination.”
    tuesday august 9th
    10:00 p.m.
    Jas has driven me insane today with all her Tom talk. I think she is hoping he will just forget about the going to different universities, having their own space fandango.
    Well, let sleeping dogs lie, is what I say.
    Although it is not what Gordy says. He is worrying me.
    I was calling him and tapping his food tin witha spoon when Mr. Next Door popped his head over the fence. He said that Gordon was sleeping in the Prat brothers’ kennel.
    I said, “Yeah, you’ll never get him out, I’m afraid. They will have to sleep in the house.”
    And Mr. Next Door said the weirdest thing.
    â€œOh, they are in there with him.”
    Blimey.
    wednesday august 10th
    Ok, it’s over a week now since I heard from Masimo. So I’m going to send a cool postcard. I’ve got one of a kitten being fished out of a pan with a ladle covered in spaghetti, and you can’t get cooler than that in my humble opinion. So here goes:
    Ciao, Masimo. It is me here, it was vair fabby and marvy to hear your voice.
    Hang on, he might not know what vair means, or fabby, or marvy. Blimey, it’s going to take me the rest of my life to write this postcard. I’ll do it tomorrow.
    thursday august 11th
    I keep looking at the number I have got for Masimo. What would I say if I called him? And, anyway, if he likes my eyes so much, why hasn’t he got on the phone again?
    lunchtime
    Even though I am plunged once more into the turbulent washing machine of luuurve, I am quite looking forward to going to Sven’s djing gig on Saturday.
    We are having rehearsals round at Rosie’s for our backing dancing routines. Honor and Sophie, the trainee ace gang members, are getting their big break because they are allowed to join in the rehearsal sessions. Although they won’t be doing the real thing as there is not enough room on the stage and not enough earmuffs to go around. But that is showbiz for you.
    We are going to do our world-renowned (well, lots of people have seen it at Stalag 14) Viking disco inferno dance. Also as a world premiere in honor of Sven’s gig we have come up with a new dance called the Viking hornpipe.
    It is a new departure for us as it involves costumes and props. Of course we have used props before—the horns in the Viking and bison extravaganza. And also bubble gum up the nose for the snot dance. (Incidentally we have left out the snot dance from our program for the night as Jools said she thought that prospective snoggees might find it a bit offputting.)
    So as I say, we have used props before but we have never toyed with both costumes and props.
    at rosie’s
evening
    In the Viking hornpipe extravaganza we will be wearing earmuffs and mittens, for the vair vair chilly Viking winter nights. And we will also be using small paddles.
    Jas is being annoyingly droopy.
    Especially as Rosie had traipsed all the way to the fairy dressing-up shop for kiddies in town, to get the muffs. And they had special tinsel and everything. Jas wouldn’t wear the earmuffs because she said it was “silly.”
    I said, “Jas, if we didn’t do stuff just because it was silly, where would we be?”
    She was still on her hufty stool and said,“What are you talking about now?”
    It is vair tiring explaining things to the vair dim, but it seems to be more or less my job in life.
    â€œJas, do you think that German is a silly language?”
    She started fiddling with her fringe. (Incidentally another example of “silliness,” but I didn’t say.) She was obviously thinking the German thing over.
    I said, “Quickly, quickly, Jas.”
    â€œWell, it’s a foreign language spoken by foreign people and that can’t be silly.”
    â€œJas, THEY SAY SPANGELFERKEL . THE WORD FOR “SNOGGING” IN GERMAN TYPE LANGUAGE IS FRONTAL KNUTSCHEN . WAKE UP,