they both showed up as Princess Leia in the iconic gold bikini. Eric was drawn to her body and bold costume choice for a chilly Madison night, and Rachel was drawn to Eric’s ridiculous sense of humor. Apparently he even shaved his chest and legs for the part. They have been hooking up nearly every weekend since. It’s obvious to me that she likes him way more than she wants to let on, but I understand her reservation for commitment with him moving halfway across the country.
As I lay down my debit card to pay for our meal, I notice the time and realize I have a little over an hour to get myself together and meet up with Professor Whitman before he closes his office door for the summer.
Within the past twenty-four hours, my future has gone from uncertainty and some dread to a future full of promise and exciting unknowns.
GRADUATION COMES AND GOES WITH the usual pomp and circumstance. Donning our caps and gowns, Rachel and I take photos throughout campus together, committing the best years of our lives to memory.
Walking down Linden and knowing I am leaving this weekend for good inevitably makes me sad. Madison has become my home, the place where I really established who I am and who I want to become completely untainted by my family.
I was okay not having my parents in town to witness the momentous occasion. I thought for sure I’d be upset at some point, but a long time ago I realized that just because someone is of the same blood, it doesn’t make them family; and really, Rachel and her parents and stepdad are more like my family than anyone else in my life.
Packing the apartment was bittersweet. Rachel recalled, in grotesque detail, the various encounters she’d had while I was away. She had a penchant for stealing something small from each of her hookups—a shot glass from a guy with jet black hair whose name she couldn’t remember, a hockey jersey from Roen, an avid San Jose Sharks fan, and an entire drawer of T-shirts she nabbed from Eric. I thought she’d eventually outgrow it, but as the adage says, old habits die hard.
I will miss her ridiculous stories and klepto tendencies when we leave this place, but it’s not like I’ll never see her again. At least we’ll be in the same city, if only for a little while. Unlike Phoenix. He seems really sweet, which makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him, and with us both going our separate ways tomorrow, I can’t help but wonder if it’s even worth it. I’m only setting myself up for inevitable disappointment.
I swallow that feeling down, and try to convince myself that I’m a brand new person and worthy of good things.
I am.
Really.
My mind drifts off to thoughts of him and suddenly I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing this very moment. If he’s thinking of me like I’m thinking of him. If I make him nervous like he makes me.
Rachel snaps me from my drifting thoughts. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“You’re all doe-eyed and just … not here.”
I roll my eyes and shake her off as I finish packing the contents of a bookshelf into a box. If I give her any indication that I’m thinking about a guy, it is going to open up the dam and I will never be able to shut her up. So instead, I do what I do best with her. I divert.
“So … this job in New York City sounds promising.”
Rachel stops packing up the dishes and looks at me from across the room. The emotion on her face is a cross between pride and heartache. Me officially leaving will inevitably be hard for her to swallow. We’ve been friends since elementary school and never lived more than ten minutes apart except for this past year.
The light in her eyes and her slow, timid smile tells me pride is winning over heartache.
“Tell me what happened.”
Catching up with Professor Whitman went as expected. I made it to his office hours about thirty minutes before he closed up for the summer, and we talked for close to three hours. He even
As I lay down my debit card to pay for our meal, I notice the time and realize I have a little over an hour to get myself together and meet up with Professor Whitman before he closes his office door for the summer.
Within the past twenty-four hours, my future has gone from uncertainty and some dread to a future full of promise and exciting unknowns.
GRADUATION COMES AND GOES WITH the usual pomp and circumstance. Donning our caps and gowns, Rachel and I take photos throughout campus together, committing the best years of our lives to memory.
Walking down Linden and knowing I am leaving this weekend for good inevitably makes me sad. Madison has become my home, the place where I really established who I am and who I want to become completely untainted by my family.
I was okay not having my parents in town to witness the momentous occasion. I thought for sure I’d be upset at some point, but a long time ago I realized that just because someone is of the same blood, it doesn’t make them family; and really, Rachel and her parents and stepdad are more like my family than anyone else in my life.
Packing the apartment was bittersweet. Rachel recalled, in grotesque detail, the various encounters she’d had while I was away. She had a penchant for stealing something small from each of her hookups—a shot glass from a guy with jet black hair whose name she couldn’t remember, a hockey jersey from Roen, an avid San Jose Sharks fan, and an entire drawer of T-shirts she nabbed from Eric. I thought she’d eventually outgrow it, but as the adage says, old habits die hard.
I will miss her ridiculous stories and klepto tendencies when we leave this place, but it’s not like I’ll never see her again. At least we’ll be in the same city, if only for a little while. Unlike Phoenix. He seems really sweet, which makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him, and with us both going our separate ways tomorrow, I can’t help but wonder if it’s even worth it. I’m only setting myself up for inevitable disappointment.
I swallow that feeling down, and try to convince myself that I’m a brand new person and worthy of good things.
I am.
Really.
My mind drifts off to thoughts of him and suddenly I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing this very moment. If he’s thinking of me like I’m thinking of him. If I make him nervous like he makes me.
Rachel snaps me from my drifting thoughts. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“You’re all doe-eyed and just … not here.”
I roll my eyes and shake her off as I finish packing the contents of a bookshelf into a box. If I give her any indication that I’m thinking about a guy, it is going to open up the dam and I will never be able to shut her up. So instead, I do what I do best with her. I divert.
“So … this job in New York City sounds promising.”
Rachel stops packing up the dishes and looks at me from across the room. The emotion on her face is a cross between pride and heartache. Me officially leaving will inevitably be hard for her to swallow. We’ve been friends since elementary school and never lived more than ten minutes apart except for this past year.
The light in her eyes and her slow, timid smile tells me pride is winning over heartache.
“Tell me what happened.”
Catching up with Professor Whitman went as expected. I made it to his office hours about thirty minutes before he closed up for the summer, and we talked for close to three hours. He even
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