it won't be easy. I'm tired and it's over ten miles away." She asked more questions and he told her everything. He told her how he was now penniless and feared walking back on the highway. He could have got the train if he had money - but not now. Ruth was tormented. She was different to the other staff. She could not just explain to him there was nothing they could do. She almost did do just that but looking him up and down gave her a foreboding. What would become of him? He needed help. She retired to the staff room and persuaded her manager to allow some of the hospital's funds. They would be used to pay for a cab to get Luke back to the airport. As time to go came, Luke said goodbye to Ruth, overcome by her kindness. There was so much to say - and yet no words could do her justice. Ruth gave him a look between a grimace and a smile.
"Don't you ever pull a stunt like this again," she said; and his cab drove him away.
After he had arrived back in England he wrote a letter to her. He wrote it to the hospital with her name on the top line of the address and told her he had fell in love. As always, Luke fell in love quickly, and at the most unexpected time. He never received a letter back. He did however get sent a series of letters from the hospital demanding payment for his short stay. Luke had had a medical insurance plan but had not mentioned having Asperger's syndrome on it, so the insurance company were refusing to pay. Eventually the hospital, which was at least in name, if not entirely in spirit, charitable stopped sending letters. After three weeks of tears and dread Luke came to terms with the loss of Ruth. He said to himself, though, some day he would fall in love and be loved in return. He changed his name back to Luke Jefferson. He had looked for the life of Racey Witty. He had not found it.
XIII
"Why are you so romantic? Can't you enjoy football?" a friend of Luke's had asked him in high school. Luke had two overwhelming crushes as a schoolboy. He was haunted by a feeling of nothingness. Eppy and Leona had distracted him like a cheerful calliope, spinning chivalrously. Even before he had heard of existentialism - or read books by Sartre or Camus - Luke felt innately life was fragile. It is lonely. You never know when you will die. No matter how confident people appear, the reality is all lives are a struggle to fill in the gaps.
When his most devoted crush, Leona, rejected him, it led to dire consequences. Firstly, it intensified bullying being meted out to him. Before he was subjected to common name calling and the occasional fight. Now it turned into persistent teasing and group beatings. At unexpected times his penis would be grabbed, his nipples twisted or a wet finger poked in his ear. He had bricks dropped on his head from a height. It had caused his temple to trickle down blood while his vision swam in and out of blackness. The incident, as well as the one at the river with Norman, made Luke wonder in years to come if he had developed brain damage. He saw an article on a news website one day. It reported a large number of homeless people were undiagnosed brain injury cases. Apparently that was why so many homeless people were peculiar - they found it hard regulating their emotions.
In the intense period of bullying - around the age of fourteen - Luke's brain, accompanied by his hormones, urged him to achieve things quickly; he had to find love, make his mark on the world. Storing his intelligence for use in a career was lazy and would be acting in bad faith - he needed to use it now . He realized in school, though he couldn't articulate it well, that the entire system was wrong. Even at the age of fourteen injustices, unacceptable ones with severe consequences, were becoming clear. He adopted the style of a goth. At the time goths were a sub-culture associated with rebellion against the established order. Luke wanted a more poetic life.
When he dyed his hair black he became
"Don't you ever pull a stunt like this again," she said; and his cab drove him away.
After he had arrived back in England he wrote a letter to her. He wrote it to the hospital with her name on the top line of the address and told her he had fell in love. As always, Luke fell in love quickly, and at the most unexpected time. He never received a letter back. He did however get sent a series of letters from the hospital demanding payment for his short stay. Luke had had a medical insurance plan but had not mentioned having Asperger's syndrome on it, so the insurance company were refusing to pay. Eventually the hospital, which was at least in name, if not entirely in spirit, charitable stopped sending letters. After three weeks of tears and dread Luke came to terms with the loss of Ruth. He said to himself, though, some day he would fall in love and be loved in return. He changed his name back to Luke Jefferson. He had looked for the life of Racey Witty. He had not found it.
XIII
"Why are you so romantic? Can't you enjoy football?" a friend of Luke's had asked him in high school. Luke had two overwhelming crushes as a schoolboy. He was haunted by a feeling of nothingness. Eppy and Leona had distracted him like a cheerful calliope, spinning chivalrously. Even before he had heard of existentialism - or read books by Sartre or Camus - Luke felt innately life was fragile. It is lonely. You never know when you will die. No matter how confident people appear, the reality is all lives are a struggle to fill in the gaps.
When his most devoted crush, Leona, rejected him, it led to dire consequences. Firstly, it intensified bullying being meted out to him. Before he was subjected to common name calling and the occasional fight. Now it turned into persistent teasing and group beatings. At unexpected times his penis would be grabbed, his nipples twisted or a wet finger poked in his ear. He had bricks dropped on his head from a height. It had caused his temple to trickle down blood while his vision swam in and out of blackness. The incident, as well as the one at the river with Norman, made Luke wonder in years to come if he had developed brain damage. He saw an article on a news website one day. It reported a large number of homeless people were undiagnosed brain injury cases. Apparently that was why so many homeless people were peculiar - they found it hard regulating their emotions.
In the intense period of bullying - around the age of fourteen - Luke's brain, accompanied by his hormones, urged him to achieve things quickly; he had to find love, make his mark on the world. Storing his intelligence for use in a career was lazy and would be acting in bad faith - he needed to use it now . He realized in school, though he couldn't articulate it well, that the entire system was wrong. Even at the age of fourteen injustices, unacceptable ones with severe consequences, were becoming clear. He adopted the style of a goth. At the time goths were a sub-culture associated with rebellion against the established order. Luke wanted a more poetic life.
When he dyed his hair black he became
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