little kids. Rolling around on the ground, rough housing and giving us piggy back rides. He and Tyler had been very close. Now it seemed they hardly spoke. It made me sad to see how distant they had all become. Back in San Diego I remembered them being a very happy close family. Now they each lived in their own little bubble. It just didn’t seem right. Their family seemed broken, and I wished I knew how to fix it.
All in all it was still one of the best summers of my life. I loved playing in the symphony orchestra. Performing was what I had been born for.
The summer came to an end all too quickly. Tyler was my best friend again. I felt so comfortable with him, except when I would catch him looking at me in that way that made my stomach flip flop. I wasn’t sure why I felt that way around him sometimes.
He had changed a lot in the last few years and there was something strong in his eyes, something I hadn’t seen as children. Sometimes when he looked at me his dark eyes seemed so penetrating that it made me nervous. I couldn’t really explain or understand why. Tyler had never made me nervous before. Even still I loved spending time with him and I was sad to know that I would be going home soon and might not see him again for a while.
“Next year I’ll have my driver’s license.” He told me as we sat by the pool. “I’ll drive down to San Diego to see you.”
“Do you think your mom will let you?” I asked.
I already had my driver’s license but I knew there was no way my mom would ever let me drive all the way to L.A. by myself.
“She can deal with it.” He said sulking.
He had started sulking again this last week. I knew it was because I was leaving soon. I felt so sad to leave, not just because I was worried about leaving him but also because I was really going to miss him. I kicked my feet in the pool as I dangled them over the edge and watched how the rippling water reflected the moonlight.
“I’m going to miss you.” I said softly still looking down at the moonlit water.
“You too.” He whispered and reached over to take my hand.
It was not unusual for us to hold hands. We had done it as children and had done it many times this summer, but this time it made my heart beat faster. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and was suddenly nervous. Slowly I turned my head to face him. He was already looking at me so our faces were only inches apart.
He was staring at me with that deep penetrating gaze that took my breath away. I studied his face; his dark eyes, defined cheekbones, strong jaw. He really didn’t look like a kid anymore. Especially this close, especially at night. I could feel my heart racing. This was all so strange, so new.
Tyler leaned in slowly, still looking into my eyes. I was mesmerized. Part of me knew what was about to happen but I was powerless to move, and not sure if I wanted to. I felt his lips press against mine softly. I closed my eyes. His lips were full and soft and warm. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears. He pressed his lips harder against mine and I felt him reach around and place his hand on the back of my neck. His hand was hot against my skin. I leaned my head back as he cradled it in his hand. My head was spinning. I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. This was my first kiss. Then suddenly a voice in my head screamed at me: You’re kissing Tyler!
I pulled away abruptly. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Why was I kissing Tyler? How could Tyler be my first kiss? I stared down at the pool as I tried to sort through what had just happened. Slowly I turned to face him and my heart broke when I saw the pain on his face. He looked so rejected, so sad, so much like a child now.
“Tyler, I can’t… you’re just a kid.”
It was mean, I knew it was, but I didn’t know what else to say. What else to think. I stood up and walked away from him leaving him at the edge of the pool.
“I’m 15.” I heard him say behind me as I
All in all it was still one of the best summers of my life. I loved playing in the symphony orchestra. Performing was what I had been born for.
The summer came to an end all too quickly. Tyler was my best friend again. I felt so comfortable with him, except when I would catch him looking at me in that way that made my stomach flip flop. I wasn’t sure why I felt that way around him sometimes.
He had changed a lot in the last few years and there was something strong in his eyes, something I hadn’t seen as children. Sometimes when he looked at me his dark eyes seemed so penetrating that it made me nervous. I couldn’t really explain or understand why. Tyler had never made me nervous before. Even still I loved spending time with him and I was sad to know that I would be going home soon and might not see him again for a while.
“Next year I’ll have my driver’s license.” He told me as we sat by the pool. “I’ll drive down to San Diego to see you.”
“Do you think your mom will let you?” I asked.
I already had my driver’s license but I knew there was no way my mom would ever let me drive all the way to L.A. by myself.
“She can deal with it.” He said sulking.
He had started sulking again this last week. I knew it was because I was leaving soon. I felt so sad to leave, not just because I was worried about leaving him but also because I was really going to miss him. I kicked my feet in the pool as I dangled them over the edge and watched how the rippling water reflected the moonlight.
“I’m going to miss you.” I said softly still looking down at the moonlit water.
“You too.” He whispered and reached over to take my hand.
It was not unusual for us to hold hands. We had done it as children and had done it many times this summer, but this time it made my heart beat faster. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and was suddenly nervous. Slowly I turned my head to face him. He was already looking at me so our faces were only inches apart.
He was staring at me with that deep penetrating gaze that took my breath away. I studied his face; his dark eyes, defined cheekbones, strong jaw. He really didn’t look like a kid anymore. Especially this close, especially at night. I could feel my heart racing. This was all so strange, so new.
Tyler leaned in slowly, still looking into my eyes. I was mesmerized. Part of me knew what was about to happen but I was powerless to move, and not sure if I wanted to. I felt his lips press against mine softly. I closed my eyes. His lips were full and soft and warm. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears. He pressed his lips harder against mine and I felt him reach around and place his hand on the back of my neck. His hand was hot against my skin. I leaned my head back as he cradled it in his hand. My head was spinning. I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. This was my first kiss. Then suddenly a voice in my head screamed at me: You’re kissing Tyler!
I pulled away abruptly. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Why was I kissing Tyler? How could Tyler be my first kiss? I stared down at the pool as I tried to sort through what had just happened. Slowly I turned to face him and my heart broke when I saw the pain on his face. He looked so rejected, so sad, so much like a child now.
“Tyler, I can’t… you’re just a kid.”
It was mean, I knew it was, but I didn’t know what else to say. What else to think. I stood up and walked away from him leaving him at the edge of the pool.
“I’m 15.” I heard him say behind me as I
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