awhile, they’ll take whatever is on the buffet table.”
Killian’s shoulders shook with the heebie-jeebies, “Ick.”
I couldn’t help but grinning. The elf was loosening up a bit.
I pulled out my magical stunning rod. I was going to try and bring back this ghoul in one piece. Bodies with holes in them tended to leak in my trunk and I couldn’t afford to get my car detailed again this month.
“Follow my lead,” I said as I bent over in a crouch and ran to the first headstone. I wanted to make sure the ghoul didn’t have a chance to run. Killian was right behind me on his whisper silent feet. If I ever got a boon on him, I was ordering me some of those magical elfin shoes. Maybe I’d just see if he’d give me a pair for my birthday. I looked over at him. I hoped I lasted until my next birthday.
I ran to the next gravestone and ducked behind a creepy concrete angel. I heard the pastor drop into the open grave with a squishy sound. He was decaying fast. I nodded my head to Killian to come around the other side and I rushed the hole in the ground.
There he was, the ghoul, ripping at the coffin lid like a kid trying to break into a cereal box for the prize at the bottom.
“Now what, pray tell, are you doing?”
He looked up at me and hissed. I had to fish around the grave a bit with my rod, but I got him. I huffed on my nails and buffed ‘em on my shirt, “Just like that.”
And then the coffin burst open and the dead man jumped out.
Oh, he was dead all right.
But he was hungry. He grabbed that ghoul and sunk his fangs into that guy’s neck so fast.
Instinctively, I reached up to my neck and felt the reassuring protection of my neckguard.
“Come on, Maggie. Do not allow him to finish feeding...”
I hated that my hands were shaking as I grabbed my silver stake from my boot top. I hurtled it right at the guy’s back and it pierced it like a knitting needle in bubble wrap. He was too young a vamp to even know what killed him... you know... for the second time.
“Just like...” I suddenly became aware of a hissing sound, “...that.”
I turned, edging my way to stand back to back with Killian. Vamps were dropping out of the goddamned trees. I counted eight in total. And my stake was conveniently stuck in the back of the least threatening of all of them.
“Jesus.”
“Your god will not help you now,” one of the undead spat at me.
“I was talking figuratively, asshole,” I snapped. If it wasn’t enough I was probably going to be dead in about five minutes time, it super sucked that I was about to be deaded by a bunch of dunces.
“What is the plan?” asked Killian.
“Marry rich and live on a yacht...” I muttered under my breath.
“Get us out of this, Maggie.”
I scanned the group. They were trying to circle around us for the attack.
“Back up slowly towards the church. Okay, back up not so slowly and more quick like to the church,” I whispered out of the side of my mouth.
“We can hear you, human,” hissed the vampire.
I gave him a sarcastic little smile, “Do you think I don’t know that?”
I actually didn’t know that, but it was nice of him to tell me.
“Killian, here’s the bad news. They want us dead. My big sharpie thing is down in the grave.”
“I will retrieve it.”
And then he jumped in the hole to tug it out of the vampire. That’s when the whole crew of suckers rushed me.
“KILLIAN! I NEED SOME HELP!”
I was able to sweep them back with my rod. I cursed myself for not buying one with anything stronger than a stunning spell. This was like one of those kung fu movies, except I wasn’t Bruce Lee and I was going to be hard pressed to open up a can of whoopass. If you don’t have anything pointy, vampires just keep coming. Sure, I could knock one down and break a couple arms, but they’d just hop right back up, healed and whole. If you could get over the whole soulless aspect of
Killian’s shoulders shook with the heebie-jeebies, “Ick.”
I couldn’t help but grinning. The elf was loosening up a bit.
I pulled out my magical stunning rod. I was going to try and bring back this ghoul in one piece. Bodies with holes in them tended to leak in my trunk and I couldn’t afford to get my car detailed again this month.
“Follow my lead,” I said as I bent over in a crouch and ran to the first headstone. I wanted to make sure the ghoul didn’t have a chance to run. Killian was right behind me on his whisper silent feet. If I ever got a boon on him, I was ordering me some of those magical elfin shoes. Maybe I’d just see if he’d give me a pair for my birthday. I looked over at him. I hoped I lasted until my next birthday.
I ran to the next gravestone and ducked behind a creepy concrete angel. I heard the pastor drop into the open grave with a squishy sound. He was decaying fast. I nodded my head to Killian to come around the other side and I rushed the hole in the ground.
There he was, the ghoul, ripping at the coffin lid like a kid trying to break into a cereal box for the prize at the bottom.
“Now what, pray tell, are you doing?”
He looked up at me and hissed. I had to fish around the grave a bit with my rod, but I got him. I huffed on my nails and buffed ‘em on my shirt, “Just like that.”
And then the coffin burst open and the dead man jumped out.
Oh, he was dead all right.
But he was hungry. He grabbed that ghoul and sunk his fangs into that guy’s neck so fast.
Instinctively, I reached up to my neck and felt the reassuring protection of my neckguard.
“Come on, Maggie. Do not allow him to finish feeding...”
I hated that my hands were shaking as I grabbed my silver stake from my boot top. I hurtled it right at the guy’s back and it pierced it like a knitting needle in bubble wrap. He was too young a vamp to even know what killed him... you know... for the second time.
“Just like...” I suddenly became aware of a hissing sound, “...that.”
I turned, edging my way to stand back to back with Killian. Vamps were dropping out of the goddamned trees. I counted eight in total. And my stake was conveniently stuck in the back of the least threatening of all of them.
“Jesus.”
“Your god will not help you now,” one of the undead spat at me.
“I was talking figuratively, asshole,” I snapped. If it wasn’t enough I was probably going to be dead in about five minutes time, it super sucked that I was about to be deaded by a bunch of dunces.
“What is the plan?” asked Killian.
“Marry rich and live on a yacht...” I muttered under my breath.
“Get us out of this, Maggie.”
I scanned the group. They were trying to circle around us for the attack.
“Back up slowly towards the church. Okay, back up not so slowly and more quick like to the church,” I whispered out of the side of my mouth.
“We can hear you, human,” hissed the vampire.
I gave him a sarcastic little smile, “Do you think I don’t know that?”
I actually didn’t know that, but it was nice of him to tell me.
“Killian, here’s the bad news. They want us dead. My big sharpie thing is down in the grave.”
“I will retrieve it.”
And then he jumped in the hole to tug it out of the vampire. That’s when the whole crew of suckers rushed me.
“KILLIAN! I NEED SOME HELP!”
I was able to sweep them back with my rod. I cursed myself for not buying one with anything stronger than a stunning spell. This was like one of those kung fu movies, except I wasn’t Bruce Lee and I was going to be hard pressed to open up a can of whoopass. If you don’t have anything pointy, vampires just keep coming. Sure, I could knock one down and break a couple arms, but they’d just hop right back up, healed and whole. If you could get over the whole soulless aspect of
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