Maggie Malone Gets the Royal Treatment by Jenna McCarthy Page B

know.”
    â€œIt is?” she asks, looking a tiny bit hopeful.
    â€œOh yes,” I say, scrambling to make up a good story. “Yes, when someone in the wedding party loses a tooth just before the wedding, it’s a sign that the bride and groom will live a long, happy, smiling life together.”
    â€œI didn’t know that!” she says with a big grin.
    â€œHow lucky is Princess Clementine?” I ask her. “And all because of you. Now don’t forget to smile really big when you walk down that aisle, so everyone can see all of that good luck.”
    She nods at me, then slips her arm back through Prince Valdemar’s. He’s grinning like a fool.
    â€œLeave the smiling to me, Valdemar,” Princess Sophie tells her brother, giving his arm a nice tug.
    â€œWell, look who just saved the day,” Princess Penelope hisses into my ear. I pretend not to hear her. Right now, all I care about is getting down this aisle without tripping or fainting, like you always see on TV.

Chapter 14

    When I Am Practically Strangled to Death
    Princess Sophie is really working the crowd with that smile, so it takes her and Prince Valdemar about a year to get to the altar. The waiting is killing me. Let’s get this show on the road, people! I only have one day as Princess Mimi, and I’d rather not spend it standing in the back of an abbey, even if it is a really famous and beautiful one.
    Finally the little kids are at the altar. Amelia gives me a weak smile and a tiny nod.
    â€œPrincess?” whispers Prince Henry, offering me his arm. Not to be all gushy, but Penelope was right: Henry is way cuter than Lord Harold. In fact, he might be the cutest boy I have ever seen. Way cuter than Jake Ritchie and maybe even cuter than Justin Crowe. I link my arm with his and smile nervously. My knees are wobbling and my hands feel like two wet noodles. I can feel Penelope’s hot, angry breath on my neck, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
    Settle down, you silly stomach butterflies. I won’t let you ruin my royal moment!
    With my arm linked in Prince Henry’s, I take my first step forward. At least I try to, but suddenly I feel as if I’m being strangled and I start to tip backward. I squeeze Prince Henry’s arm tighter, gasping for air, and try to straighten back up.
    Am I fainting? It happens all the time in weddings on that show Real Funny Videos . Usually it’s the groom who goes down, though, and normally it’s during a really boring part of the wedding. I haven’t even made it out of the gate!
    I try to take a step again but something is seriously strangling me.
    That wicked witch is trying to kill me , I realize. She’s wrapped her paws around my neck and I’m going to die right here in Winfordshire Abbey. In this hideous, horrible, big fat baby dress! With a kazillion people watching!
    She wouldn’t do that, would she? I mean, she’s definitely awful, but I think murder is too evil—even for Princess Penelope.
    I wave my one free arm wildly. It’s as if there’s a rope around my neck and someone is yanking on it as hard as they can. It’s no use fighting it; the pull is too strong. I’m starting to see stars and the room is beginning to spin. I’m tipping back and I can’t stop it, and everything feels like it’s in slow motion.
    I hope my underwear isn’t showing when I land , is all I can think. I stop waving my free arm and use it to hold down the front of my big fat baby dress, just in case.
    Wow, the ceiling of this abbey is amazing , I notice as I continue to tip.
    Right before I hit the ground, Prince Henry figures out what’s going on and sweeps me back upright. His arm locked tightly with mine, he gives the back of the Crown Cape a nice tug with his other hand. I can breathe again! I shake my head to get some blood back into it. The abbey comes back into focus and I realize I’m not going