right. But, we will be happy. It is not like we
have not made any savings, or planned for rainy days. In time, all
will be well,’ I convinced him, not really going anywhere near
my real fears.
In Singapore, Mary was
too close for comfort, physically too close, just four hours away,
maybe pregnant with our stuff, with the very real possibility of
turning up at our doorstep once she was able to, rekindling the past,
ruining our mending lives, sucking us into her poverty of refinement.
In London, we were
safer, though only relatively. I made a mental note—get on top
of all our security settings on Facebook, blocking us from snoopy
Asians, if the site allowed settings by region, else I would simply
block everyone out, at least for now. In London, we would be ten
hours away from her, with our address untraceable without significant
effort. We would feel secure in the false security of home turf, with
new mobile numbers and new emails ids.
‘I do understand,
but what am I supposed to tell the folks at work?’ he fell back
to the realm of the mundane, easily tackled by conversation and
logic.
‘I am sure they
have guessed you are having issues at home, with the newspaper
articles and all. They will understand when you say it is on personal
grounds. Just ask for the separation package that they offered you
earlier and wait to hear what they have to say,’ I answered,
confidently, pushing him along to where we were heading.
On the following
morning, I got the me n out of the house, neat, with
packed sandwiches, and then waited for the phone to ring, cradling
the instruments in their respective chargers, the mobile and the home
phone, ensuring they were charged when the clinic called. Housework,
it is a burden that is easy to give up, tough to pick up, building
back the habits of domestic labour.
I had the urge to call
the clinic, asking for the good Doctor, but sense prevailed and I
settled in front of the tele, after many days, bridging gaps, picking
up where I had left the soaps off. He had said one or two days, best
to wait while we took the medication. Sometimes, it is best when you
don’t hear back from the doctor’s office.
The phone rang soon
enough, but like it is in most cases, the news that it carried was
not definite. The receptionist at the clinic simply asked me to come
when I was free, since the Doctor wanted to speak to me.
I did so at once,
simply shutting the burners off, closing the windows, and rushing to
the clinic.
The waiting at the
clinic was agonizing, with all nature of possibilities dancing in
front of me. Medical matters, which we usually don’t
understand, are like that, simply playing with our imagination,
forcing us to panic with the half information that is available on
the Internet.
When I finally saw him,
he was calm, asking me to sit down, telling me not to worry. ‘It
is your husband, and it is not what you think,’ he said,
interrupted by me before he could finish his sentence.
‘Does he have
it?’ my voice carried the tremble of panic and anxiety, my eyes
wide with fear.
‘No, he does not
have it, and all the tests have come up negative,’ he told me.
I sighed in relief, too
soon, because he was not done yet.
‘It is his blood
counts. They are elevated, particularly the leukocyte count, which is
abnormally high. I would not worry; it could be a mild infection that
is causing it. But I will strongly recommend a few more tests, just
to be cautious, that is all,’ he added.
‘I am a grown-up
adult, Doctor. Please tell me what you suspect. Are you looking for
something in particular?’ I had put on my brave face by now.
‘Like I said,
there is absolutely no need to panic. Not yet, at least, since there
could be a host of reasons for elevated blood counts. But, I strongly
recommend that you bring him in again, after he has finished the
course of antibiotics that I prescribed. It could be a simple
infection that goes away in a week. Why don’t we check in a
week’s
have not made any savings, or planned for rainy days. In time, all
will be well,’ I convinced him, not really going anywhere near
my real fears.
In Singapore, Mary was
too close for comfort, physically too close, just four hours away,
maybe pregnant with our stuff, with the very real possibility of
turning up at our doorstep once she was able to, rekindling the past,
ruining our mending lives, sucking us into her poverty of refinement.
In London, we were
safer, though only relatively. I made a mental note—get on top
of all our security settings on Facebook, blocking us from snoopy
Asians, if the site allowed settings by region, else I would simply
block everyone out, at least for now. In London, we would be ten
hours away from her, with our address untraceable without significant
effort. We would feel secure in the false security of home turf, with
new mobile numbers and new emails ids.
‘I do understand,
but what am I supposed to tell the folks at work?’ he fell back
to the realm of the mundane, easily tackled by conversation and
logic.
‘I am sure they
have guessed you are having issues at home, with the newspaper
articles and all. They will understand when you say it is on personal
grounds. Just ask for the separation package that they offered you
earlier and wait to hear what they have to say,’ I answered,
confidently, pushing him along to where we were heading.
On the following
morning, I got the me n out of the house, neat, with
packed sandwiches, and then waited for the phone to ring, cradling
the instruments in their respective chargers, the mobile and the home
phone, ensuring they were charged when the clinic called. Housework,
it is a burden that is easy to give up, tough to pick up, building
back the habits of domestic labour.
I had the urge to call
the clinic, asking for the good Doctor, but sense prevailed and I
settled in front of the tele, after many days, bridging gaps, picking
up where I had left the soaps off. He had said one or two days, best
to wait while we took the medication. Sometimes, it is best when you
don’t hear back from the doctor’s office.
The phone rang soon
enough, but like it is in most cases, the news that it carried was
not definite. The receptionist at the clinic simply asked me to come
when I was free, since the Doctor wanted to speak to me.
I did so at once,
simply shutting the burners off, closing the windows, and rushing to
the clinic.
The waiting at the
clinic was agonizing, with all nature of possibilities dancing in
front of me. Medical matters, which we usually don’t
understand, are like that, simply playing with our imagination,
forcing us to panic with the half information that is available on
the Internet.
When I finally saw him,
he was calm, asking me to sit down, telling me not to worry. ‘It
is your husband, and it is not what you think,’ he said,
interrupted by me before he could finish his sentence.
‘Does he have
it?’ my voice carried the tremble of panic and anxiety, my eyes
wide with fear.
‘No, he does not
have it, and all the tests have come up negative,’ he told me.
I sighed in relief, too
soon, because he was not done yet.
‘It is his blood
counts. They are elevated, particularly the leukocyte count, which is
abnormally high. I would not worry; it could be a mild infection that
is causing it. But I will strongly recommend a few more tests, just
to be cautious, that is all,’ he added.
‘I am a grown-up
adult, Doctor. Please tell me what you suspect. Are you looking for
something in particular?’ I had put on my brave face by now.
‘Like I said,
there is absolutely no need to panic. Not yet, at least, since there
could be a host of reasons for elevated blood counts. But, I strongly
recommend that you bring him in again, after he has finished the
course of antibiotics that I prescribed. It could be a simple
infection that goes away in a week. Why don’t we check in a
week’s
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