feeling.
When he’d finished and set aside the towel and cloth, she shifted on the bed, crawling under the covers. She put her arms up to him, and he came on the bed with her. He held her tight against him, stroking her hair. She felt that inexplicable bond between them surge and quiver, almost like it was a living thing.
He smoothed back her hair with his hand and pressed his lips to her temple.
“I hate wearing a condom with you,” he said in a hoarse voice next to her skin. “I hate even that coming between us.”
She made a sound of anguished longing and pressed closer to him.
“Harper?” He nudged her cheek and she lifted her head to look at him. “Are you on birth control?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“When we get back to Tahoe, let’s have a doctor examine us both. If we get clean bills of health, I want to be inside you. No more barriers.”
“Okay,” she agreed shakily, unable there, in his arms, to say anything different.
He opened his hand along the side of her head, holding her stare.
“And I want you to spend the nights with me when we return, too.”
“Every one?” she asked, stunned.
He nodded. “For as many as possible. For as many nights as we need, I want you with me. And I want you to know that
I’m
there. I don’t want you wondering—or doubting—because we’re separated.”
“You mean wondering if you’re with another woman?” she asked, the image of the beautiful, troubled Regina leaping into her mind’s eye against her will.
“I don’t want you doubting or worrying about anything. I don’t want to worry about you.”
“I worry about the end,” she admitted impulsively, her face and throat tightening with emotion. “
Our
end. Especially if I agree to what you’re proposing.”
Because wasn’t that the unspoken part of his proposal? Wasn’t he saying that their attraction was so strong, that they may as well play it out at its fullest, give the fire all the fuel it demanded until it banked, and they were finally free of the compulsion of it?
Or at least . . . one of them was. Her fear about getting involved with him surged inside her.
His hand shifted on her head, his fingers stroking her hair. She’d never seen so much compassion in his agate eyes than she did at that moment.
“It’s too late, Harper. I care too much, whether I wanted to or not. I think you feel it, too. We can’t go back, only forward. No matter what happens. Surely you sense that, too?”
She made a choked sound and pressed her cheek to his chest. Neither the word yes or the word no would leave her throat. She felt trapped. His mouth pressed against the top of her head.
It would be nice to believe that she had a solid choice in all this, to cling to the idea that she would never willingly steer herself toward catastrophe or heartache. She hugged him tighter and sensed the powerful bond between them tighten until it hurt. Maybe the volatile attraction between them would eventually wane; who knew?
But maybe Jacob was right.
In that full, poignant moment with him, Harper couldn’t help but wonder wildly if it were even
possible
for either her fears or Jacob’s ghosts to sever their bond.
* * *
By the time it came for them to leave San Francisco on Sunday morning, Jacob hadn’t pressed Harper any further about his proposal for her to stay with him in his Tahoe mansion as much as was possible. She couldn’t decide if she was glad or disappointed about that.
She kept thinking about his unexpected mood shifts. Was he moody like that with everyone? No. Somehow, she didn’t think he was.
It’s
me
who has him so edgy.
She detailed in her mind the topics they’d been discussing when he behaved so strangely, trying to make sense of what had touched him off. Her ruminations only made her more confused.
When they returned to Tahoe Shores at around noon, Harper peered out the sedan window onto a gorgeous, crystalline summer day. Tahoe Shores brimmed with bustling
When he’d finished and set aside the towel and cloth, she shifted on the bed, crawling under the covers. She put her arms up to him, and he came on the bed with her. He held her tight against him, stroking her hair. She felt that inexplicable bond between them surge and quiver, almost like it was a living thing.
He smoothed back her hair with his hand and pressed his lips to her temple.
“I hate wearing a condom with you,” he said in a hoarse voice next to her skin. “I hate even that coming between us.”
She made a sound of anguished longing and pressed closer to him.
“Harper?” He nudged her cheek and she lifted her head to look at him. “Are you on birth control?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“When we get back to Tahoe, let’s have a doctor examine us both. If we get clean bills of health, I want to be inside you. No more barriers.”
“Okay,” she agreed shakily, unable there, in his arms, to say anything different.
He opened his hand along the side of her head, holding her stare.
“And I want you to spend the nights with me when we return, too.”
“Every one?” she asked, stunned.
He nodded. “For as many as possible. For as many nights as we need, I want you with me. And I want you to know that
I’m
there. I don’t want you wondering—or doubting—because we’re separated.”
“You mean wondering if you’re with another woman?” she asked, the image of the beautiful, troubled Regina leaping into her mind’s eye against her will.
“I don’t want you doubting or worrying about anything. I don’t want to worry about you.”
“I worry about the end,” she admitted impulsively, her face and throat tightening with emotion. “
Our
end. Especially if I agree to what you’re proposing.”
Because wasn’t that the unspoken part of his proposal? Wasn’t he saying that their attraction was so strong, that they may as well play it out at its fullest, give the fire all the fuel it demanded until it banked, and they were finally free of the compulsion of it?
Or at least . . . one of them was. Her fear about getting involved with him surged inside her.
His hand shifted on her head, his fingers stroking her hair. She’d never seen so much compassion in his agate eyes than she did at that moment.
“It’s too late, Harper. I care too much, whether I wanted to or not. I think you feel it, too. We can’t go back, only forward. No matter what happens. Surely you sense that, too?”
She made a choked sound and pressed her cheek to his chest. Neither the word yes or the word no would leave her throat. She felt trapped. His mouth pressed against the top of her head.
It would be nice to believe that she had a solid choice in all this, to cling to the idea that she would never willingly steer herself toward catastrophe or heartache. She hugged him tighter and sensed the powerful bond between them tighten until it hurt. Maybe the volatile attraction between them would eventually wane; who knew?
But maybe Jacob was right.
In that full, poignant moment with him, Harper couldn’t help but wonder wildly if it were even
possible
for either her fears or Jacob’s ghosts to sever their bond.
* * *
By the time it came for them to leave San Francisco on Sunday morning, Jacob hadn’t pressed Harper any further about his proposal for her to stay with him in his Tahoe mansion as much as was possible. She couldn’t decide if she was glad or disappointed about that.
She kept thinking about his unexpected mood shifts. Was he moody like that with everyone? No. Somehow, she didn’t think he was.
It’s
me
who has him so edgy.
She detailed in her mind the topics they’d been discussing when he behaved so strangely, trying to make sense of what had touched him off. Her ruminations only made her more confused.
When they returned to Tahoe Shores at around noon, Harper peered out the sedan window onto a gorgeous, crystalline summer day. Tahoe Shores brimmed with bustling
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