then abruptly halting himself. “It’s not like that, Harper. Jesus,” he muttered, raking his fingers through his short hair in a frustrated gesture. She straightened and walked toward him, feeling guilty for making him more upset when he was clearly already distraught over Regina’s death.
“I’m sorry,” she said honestly. “I’m sorry for asking you that. And I’m
so
sorry about Regina.”
His gaze flickered over her face and caught. Her chest hurt at what she saw in his eyes.
“What you saw in my office with Regina . . . it wasn’t what it looked like. She’d just shown up there. She was high and out of control. I thought she was out of it, but I’ve seen her worse. I think she might have taken more pills while I was talking to Elizabeth. I tried to call 9-1-1, but Regina stopped me before I could even dial one number. Then you walked in—”
Pain shot through her when he shut his eyes reflexively, trying to block the potent memory.
“Jacob, it wasn’t your fault. She took you by surprise. It all happened within a matter of minutes. Seconds, even. You did everything you could.”
Slowly, he opened his eyes and pinned her with his stare.
“Why didn’t you tell me she lived on your property in Napa? Why did you make me believe you two had been lovers? Jacob?” she asked when he just continued to look at her. “
Is
Regina the woman you talked about that reminded you of me?”
“You must know that you’re not like anyone else, Harper,” he said gruffly after a pause in which the ache in her chest swelled. “When I told you in the beginning that you reminded me of someone else, I was talking about
you
when you were young. Not Regina. I was . . . torn. I felt guilty for wanting you the way that I did, but I couldn’t stop myself.”
She swallowed thickly, partial understanding dawning. “At least it helps me to understand why you seemed so ambivalent about me at times,” she admitted with a mirthless laugh.
“You’re different than any other woman I’ve met. And you know why. You’re the one who said it out loud first.”
A clock on Elizabeth’s mantel seemed to tick abnormally loud in her ears. She knew what he meant. He referred to what she’d said when they huddled together under that blanket in the police station, when she first spoke out loud of their bond.
“I’m yours,” she said softly.
“And you’re mine.”
They stood with several feet separating them, but she’d never felt their bond so deeply.
“While we were in San Francisco,” Jacob said, taking one step toward her. “I told you that you and Regina were alike, do you remember?”
She nodded. “You meant because we’d both been hurt by men. Regina by Clint Jefferies and countless others. Me by Emmitt Tharp.”
“
Both
by Emmitt Tharp.”
“What?”
She saw his throat convulse and he glanced away. “I don’t know yet how much you actually remember about details from when we were young . . . those days and nights we spent together, but—”
“Everything. I remember
everything
, Jake,” she interrupted, stepping toward him. “What do you mean, Regina and I were both . . .” Jacob looked over at her when she faded off. “Oh my God,” she whispered disbelievingly. “You told me when we were kids that Emmitt had done it before. That he’d taken another girl, and when you’d found her and talked to her, he’d threatened to cut out your tongue before . . .”
“He killed me,” Jacob finished.
“That other girl was
Regina
?” she whispered.
He nodded once, his face a mask, his eyes the only windows onto his turmoil. “Back when I first found her tied up in the barn, she’d gone by the name Regina Stellowitz. Even though it was seven years later when I next saw her on Jefferies’s property, I recognized her right away.”
“
Jake
,”
she muttered feelingly.
She rushed into his arms. She felt his lips move in her hair, and then press tight against her skull.
“I
“I’m sorry,” she said honestly. “I’m sorry for asking you that. And I’m
so
sorry about Regina.”
His gaze flickered over her face and caught. Her chest hurt at what she saw in his eyes.
“What you saw in my office with Regina . . . it wasn’t what it looked like. She’d just shown up there. She was high and out of control. I thought she was out of it, but I’ve seen her worse. I think she might have taken more pills while I was talking to Elizabeth. I tried to call 9-1-1, but Regina stopped me before I could even dial one number. Then you walked in—”
Pain shot through her when he shut his eyes reflexively, trying to block the potent memory.
“Jacob, it wasn’t your fault. She took you by surprise. It all happened within a matter of minutes. Seconds, even. You did everything you could.”
Slowly, he opened his eyes and pinned her with his stare.
“Why didn’t you tell me she lived on your property in Napa? Why did you make me believe you two had been lovers? Jacob?” she asked when he just continued to look at her. “
Is
Regina the woman you talked about that reminded you of me?”
“You must know that you’re not like anyone else, Harper,” he said gruffly after a pause in which the ache in her chest swelled. “When I told you in the beginning that you reminded me of someone else, I was talking about
you
when you were young. Not Regina. I was . . . torn. I felt guilty for wanting you the way that I did, but I couldn’t stop myself.”
She swallowed thickly, partial understanding dawning. “At least it helps me to understand why you seemed so ambivalent about me at times,” she admitted with a mirthless laugh.
“You’re different than any other woman I’ve met. And you know why. You’re the one who said it out loud first.”
A clock on Elizabeth’s mantel seemed to tick abnormally loud in her ears. She knew what he meant. He referred to what she’d said when they huddled together under that blanket in the police station, when she first spoke out loud of their bond.
“I’m yours,” she said softly.
“And you’re mine.”
They stood with several feet separating them, but she’d never felt their bond so deeply.
“While we were in San Francisco,” Jacob said, taking one step toward her. “I told you that you and Regina were alike, do you remember?”
She nodded. “You meant because we’d both been hurt by men. Regina by Clint Jefferies and countless others. Me by Emmitt Tharp.”
“
Both
by Emmitt Tharp.”
“What?”
She saw his throat convulse and he glanced away. “I don’t know yet how much you actually remember about details from when we were young . . . those days and nights we spent together, but—”
“Everything. I remember
everything
, Jake,” she interrupted, stepping toward him. “What do you mean, Regina and I were both . . .” Jacob looked over at her when she faded off. “Oh my God,” she whispered disbelievingly. “You told me when we were kids that Emmitt had done it before. That he’d taken another girl, and when you’d found her and talked to her, he’d threatened to cut out your tongue before . . .”
“He killed me,” Jacob finished.
“That other girl was
Regina
?” she whispered.
He nodded once, his face a mask, his eyes the only windows onto his turmoil. “Back when I first found her tied up in the barn, she’d gone by the name Regina Stellowitz. Even though it was seven years later when I next saw her on Jefferies’s property, I recognized her right away.”
“
Jake
,”
she muttered feelingly.
She rushed into his arms. She felt his lips move in her hair, and then press tight against her skull.
“I
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