Mark Clodi by KATHY Page B

started a smooth glide towards the screaming, almost jogging, but checking every opening she went by with the coolness of a professional. Max followed as close as he could, but lacked her precision, he only hoped she found and took care of any ‘problems’ before he got there.
    'So much for my macho image.' he thought to himself, 'Long live the woman's rights movement!'
    The screaming started getting louder and more persistent, Stewart's pace increased to a quick jog. Max was the one who saw the woman dart out of a side passage on an intercept course. Without even thinking Max rushed the older blond haired woman getting ready to pounce on Stewart from behind. He let out a battle cry and threw himself forward swinging the bat as he went. He missed. Completely woofed. STE-rike one! However his momentum carried him into the woman and as he tripped and went down he landed on the back of her legs, which brought her down on top of Stewart's legs.
    Time seemed to slow way down for Max then, he dimly recalled hearing a gun go off, and heard Tom and Steve yelling, as if they were three feet under water. His vision was dominated by a half torn face of a woman who could have been his mother, her grimacing visage turned towards him as they fell together to the carpet. For one brief second in time everything seemed frozen, just stopped. Then, as if someone turned on a light switch, everything started again. Reality seemed to speed up to double that of normal, as if it was in a hurry to make up for the pause. Max, Stewart and the zombie woman went down in a heap. Max caught the butt end of the bat in his groin and was certain his entire body balanced upon that point for a good part of eternity, before he teetered over. Stewart managed to pull her legs out and to one side before Max landed hard on top of the zombie woman.
    'Funny' Max thought, 'Normally I would be moaning on the ground clutching at my racked balls crying like a baby, but here I am still in the fight despite the pain.' Which was immediately followed by, 'Stop thinking and kill this bitch!'
    It was par for the course that he lost hold of the bat in his fall, but his arms and legs still seemed to work okay, 'The head, the head, gotta control this bitch’s head! With the bitey parts!' he thought. He would be damned if he would have his wife hear of how he was eaten by some zombie grandma. Max pinned the zombie down and started screaming incoherently, not sure of how to hold her down and hold her head in place at the same time.
    “Duck!” He heard, then WHAM!, he got hit right on the shoulder.
    “Steve you asshole! Stop hitting me!” Max screamed.
    “Get off the bitch you stupid shit! Move your fucking ass off of her! Duck! Duck!”
    Max rolled off of the zombie barely in time and Steve’s driver hit the woman’s wrist. It broke with a loud crunching sound. This freed up his hand and Max moved it to try and control the woman’s head. This was a mistake, as he soon learned; the woman started punching him in the chest with her broken wrist and it hurt. She was forcing him underneath her and Max heard Steve yelling, “Yeah, yeah line her up for me buddy!”, so he continued the roll and let the woman on top of him. Two gun shots went off, but the zombie on Max was not hit, a second later, Steve’s club stove in the side of the zombie’s head, sticking there, like a nail in a piece of wood. The zombie twitched once, then twice, then started moving again.
    Steve yelled, “Die bitch, Die! Fucking die! Die! Die!” and pulled his club back, the zombie, stuck as it was on the end of his club went with his pull and this freed Max to get to his hands and knees and look around for his bat. By the time he recovered his feet, bat in hand, Steve and Tom had battered the old woman zombie into the next life, again. Max looked for Stewart and did not see her anywhere, he moved down the hallway into Kirkpatrick’s office area and spotted Stewart behind the secretary’s desk, ass