my flesh. I wanted so badly to pull away because frankly, his revelation unnerved the hell out of me. He was new in town, so how the crap did he know I'd always been inquisitive? How the crap did he know me in the first place?
I wanted to ask so many questions, wanted to tell him what I was feeling, wanted to take my hand from him and flee. But I could not. Like a moth to a flame, I was completely mesmerized.
We stood there holding hands for I don't know how long. Our eyes never left each other, studying, memorizing every detail. I didn't want this moment to end, because after years of feeling abandoned by my parents (not really abandoned , since they had not planned to die in a car crash), a pinch of security surrounded me. A different kind of security than when I was with Brenton.
Brenton. What would he think if he walked in the store to see me holding hands with a stranger? Guilt seeped into my heart. I loved Brenton, and for some outlandish, completely illogical reason, I loved Sam. Not the physical/mental love I had for Brenton, but more of a brother/friend kind of love.
Just like his unnatural clear-blue eyes, I loved him with some kind of unnatural love. The screwiest component in this bowl of mess was that I loved him...and I'd just met him, and knew nothing about him. Talk about a jumbled pot of complete chaos, topped off with a side of habitual perplexity.
The sound of a door opening in the back followed with a high-pitch giggle intruded on our strange, intimate moment. Our hands broke away. A flash of pure regret shown out of his eyes. I smiled at him, not knowing what to say or do. Behind me I could hear Casey and Janey walking to the front, coming right at us. Turning around to greet them, I decided I'd introduce Sam to them. What could it hurt? He was new in town (or so he said) and needed people to talk to. I still didn't know what was going on with him or with me. But whatever it was, it was all good. And disturbing.
“That's Casey and Ja...” I began, stopping mid-sentence. When I turned back around I saw that I was speaking to the magazine rack.
Sam was gone.
Quickly I began walking around the store, searching for him. But I was left scratching my head. Where was he? He had to still be in the store because the annoying clang of the bell had not sounded. Plus nobody could be that fast. There was no way he could have made it to the door the two seconds I looked behind me. No. Way.
“Clarity!” I heard Janey call as I continued to search the aisles for Sam, “You did a totally awesome job—this place looks immaculate!”
“Thanks!” I called back, still bewildered by the disappearance of Sam. I had checked everywhere, even the bathrooms, but he was no where to be found.
Feeling dejected, that calm sensation gone from my system, I trudged back to the front. The lavender smell that had been happily intoxicating had vanished along with Sam.
On my way to my counter I saw that Janey and Casey's clothes were rumpled and wrinkled, un-tucked and messy. Gee, I wonder what they'd been doing alone. In the privacy of the stockroom. I groaned inwardly at that disgusting thought.
“What were you doin', Clare?” Janey asked cheerfully, applying sparkling lip gloss. Casey stood next to her with a goofy, light-headed expression present on his face.
I took a breath, trying to act normal. What had been going on with Sam—the hand holding and all the feelings and even the lovely smell in the air—confused the crazy crud out of me. But in front of my two friends I would have to act like my usual, smart aleck self. Like everything was normal and dull; like real life. Also I was not bringing up Nick—not even worth it.
“Obviously not what the two of you were doing,” I responded, giving them a look that screamed “Naughty, Naughty, Naughty!” “Um, Casey?'
“What?”
I grinned slyly, my eyes drifting down the front of his jeans. “Your, uh, fly’s undone.”
His face glowed bright red, turning
I wanted to ask so many questions, wanted to tell him what I was feeling, wanted to take my hand from him and flee. But I could not. Like a moth to a flame, I was completely mesmerized.
We stood there holding hands for I don't know how long. Our eyes never left each other, studying, memorizing every detail. I didn't want this moment to end, because after years of feeling abandoned by my parents (not really abandoned , since they had not planned to die in a car crash), a pinch of security surrounded me. A different kind of security than when I was with Brenton.
Brenton. What would he think if he walked in the store to see me holding hands with a stranger? Guilt seeped into my heart. I loved Brenton, and for some outlandish, completely illogical reason, I loved Sam. Not the physical/mental love I had for Brenton, but more of a brother/friend kind of love.
Just like his unnatural clear-blue eyes, I loved him with some kind of unnatural love. The screwiest component in this bowl of mess was that I loved him...and I'd just met him, and knew nothing about him. Talk about a jumbled pot of complete chaos, topped off with a side of habitual perplexity.
The sound of a door opening in the back followed with a high-pitch giggle intruded on our strange, intimate moment. Our hands broke away. A flash of pure regret shown out of his eyes. I smiled at him, not knowing what to say or do. Behind me I could hear Casey and Janey walking to the front, coming right at us. Turning around to greet them, I decided I'd introduce Sam to them. What could it hurt? He was new in town (or so he said) and needed people to talk to. I still didn't know what was going on with him or with me. But whatever it was, it was all good. And disturbing.
“That's Casey and Ja...” I began, stopping mid-sentence. When I turned back around I saw that I was speaking to the magazine rack.
Sam was gone.
Quickly I began walking around the store, searching for him. But I was left scratching my head. Where was he? He had to still be in the store because the annoying clang of the bell had not sounded. Plus nobody could be that fast. There was no way he could have made it to the door the two seconds I looked behind me. No. Way.
“Clarity!” I heard Janey call as I continued to search the aisles for Sam, “You did a totally awesome job—this place looks immaculate!”
“Thanks!” I called back, still bewildered by the disappearance of Sam. I had checked everywhere, even the bathrooms, but he was no where to be found.
Feeling dejected, that calm sensation gone from my system, I trudged back to the front. The lavender smell that had been happily intoxicating had vanished along with Sam.
On my way to my counter I saw that Janey and Casey's clothes were rumpled and wrinkled, un-tucked and messy. Gee, I wonder what they'd been doing alone. In the privacy of the stockroom. I groaned inwardly at that disgusting thought.
“What were you doin', Clare?” Janey asked cheerfully, applying sparkling lip gloss. Casey stood next to her with a goofy, light-headed expression present on his face.
I took a breath, trying to act normal. What had been going on with Sam—the hand holding and all the feelings and even the lovely smell in the air—confused the crazy crud out of me. But in front of my two friends I would have to act like my usual, smart aleck self. Like everything was normal and dull; like real life. Also I was not bringing up Nick—not even worth it.
“Obviously not what the two of you were doing,” I responded, giving them a look that screamed “Naughty, Naughty, Naughty!” “Um, Casey?'
“What?”
I grinned slyly, my eyes drifting down the front of his jeans. “Your, uh, fly’s undone.”
His face glowed bright red, turning
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