you guys going up in flames in the sunlight is true ?”
“I am afraid so,” Michael answered.
“Now, as far as why we want you to work for us,” Marlena said, keeping us on topic, “let’s just say that humans help us blend in with mainstream society.”
“In what way?” I asked.
“A s I mentioned before,” Michael said, “our clients are extremely wealthy. And with great wealth comes obligations. Dignitary clients have benefit dinners and galas that they must continuously attend. These are events which are typically hosted by human-owned businesses, and are only for the uber rich. You see, many vampires have acquired great wealth because we have been alive for so long. As such, the humans we typically mix with are also-”
“Loaded,” I said.
“Exactly. Honestly, Mercy, you would be surprised to learn how many wholesome household brands are actually owned by vampire CEO’s,” Michael smiled. “Certainly, there are impoverished vampires, too, just as there are rich humans and poor humans. Anyhow, without further digression, and to answer your question, having a human at our side allows us to maintain our façade. Some vampires can easily pass for humans, while others appear more… unearthly. Whatever the case, when we have a living, breathing human at our side, we stand out less amongst our human associates. ”
I mulled this over. “I guess that makes sense. Do any other humans- other than the ones working for Dignitary- know of your existence?”
“A few do, yes,” Marlena said, jumping in. “But it’s only at the vampire’s discretion. This is also why we have a need for chaperones. Most humans feel ill-at-ease when they’re alone with a vampire, particularly when discussing business matters. The chaperones that we provide act as buffers, serving the purpose of alleviating the stress humans feel at corporate proceedings like contract signings.”
“That is no t to say, though,” Michael interjected, “that our chaperones only go to places where other humans will be present. You may sometimes go to vampire-only venues and be the only living person in the room. As strange as it sounds, having a human on your arm is a bit of a status symbol in the vampire world.”
“ Really? Why is that?” I asked.
“T hink about it,” Michael answered. “To vampires, humans are the exotic creatures. Sure, we encounter them every night, but do we ever get to really interact with them? No .”
“Okay…”
“ What I am about to say may sound horrible to you, Mercy, but I swear to you that I am not intending it as such. For a vampire to have a human at their side is on par with a human possessing an exotic beast, like a tiger. Although vampires were once human themselves, some may have been turned so long ago that they have forgotten what it is like. As such, vampires want to be close to you, to learn about you. We are envious of humans in many ways: how they can eat food, drink wine, and walk in the sun. It gets a little lonely and monotonous, only associating with other vampires.”
“ Hmm,” I murmured. Everything made sense when he explained it that way. Vampires sounded like such a sad species. I kind of felt sorry for them, feeling regretful about the way that I’d reacted during Stephano’s big ceiling reveal.
“Also, because our clients know that you are aware of what they truly are, they can be themselves,” Michael said. “You have no idea how tiring it is for us to have to constantly make up excuses about why we are not eating, why we are so pale, and why we can only have meetings at night. Humans can be so nosey, no offense. With a hired human around- again, I am not trying to be derogatory with such straightforward terminology- we have a built-in scapegoat. We can blame our inability to meet before sundown on your work schedule, and explain away our lack of appetite by claiming that we have already dined with you.”
“While we’re on the subject of dining…” I v
ADAM L PENENBERG
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