Mind of My Mind by Octavia E. Butler Page A

what's
    happening to her without being caught up in it."
     
    Pull back. How? How had he gotten so close, anyway? He had never been caught up
    in Mary's pretransition experiences.
     
    "You know what to expect," Doro told him. "At this point she's going to be reaching
    for the worst possible stuff. That's what's familiar to her. That's what's going to attract her
    attention. She'll get an avalanche of it—violence, pain, fear, whatever. I don't want you
    caught up in it unless she obviously needs help."
     
    Karl said nothing. He was already trying to separate himself from Mary. The mental
    link he had established with her had grown into something more than he had intended it
    to be. If two minds could be tangled together, his and Mary's were.
     
    Then he realized that she had become aware of him, was watching him as he tried to
    untangle himself. He had never permitted her to be aware of his mental probing before.
    He stopped what he was doing now, concerned that he had frightened her. She would
    have enough fear to contend with within the next twelve hours without his adding to it.
     
    But she was not afraid. She was glad to have him with her. She was relieved to
    discover that she was not facing the worst hours of her life alone.
     
    Karl relaxed for a few minutes, less eager to leave her now. He could still remember
    how glad he had been to have Emma with him during his transition. Emma couldn't help
    mentally, but she was a human presence with him, drawing him back to sanity, reality.
    He could do at least that much for Mary.
     
    "How is she?" Doro asked.
     
    "All right. She understands what's happening."
     
    "Something is liable to snatch her away again any minute."
     
    "I know."
     
    "When it happens, let it happen. Watch, but stay out of it. If you see a way to help
    her, don't."
     
    "I thought that's what I was for. To help."
     
    "You are, later, when she can't help herself. When she's ready to give up."
     
    Karl glanced at Doro while keeping most of his attention on Mary. "Do you lose a lot
    of her kind?"
     
    Doro smiled grimly. "She doesn't have a 'kind.' She's unique. So are you, though you
    aren't as unusual as I hope she'll be. I've been working toward both of you for a good
    many generations. But yes." The smile vanished. "Several of her unsuccessful
    predecessors have died in transition."
     
    Karl nodded. "And I'll bet most of them took somebody with them. Somebody who
     

 
    was trying to help them."
     
    Doro said nothing.
     
    "I thought so," said Karl. "And I already know from Mary's thoughts that you killed
    the ones who managed to survive transition."
     
    "If you know, why bring it up?"
     
    Karl sighed. "I guess because it still surprises me that you can do things like that. Or
    maybe I'm just wondering whether she or I will still be alive this time tomorrow—even if
    we both survive her transition."
     
    "Bring her through for me, Karl, and you'll be all right."
     
    "And her?"
     
    "She's a dangerous kind of experiment. Believe me, if she turns out to be another
    failure, you'll want her dead more than I will."
     
    "I wish I knew what the hell you were doing. Aside from playing God, I mean."
     
    "You know enough."
     
    "I don't know anything."
     
    "You know what I want of you. That's enough."
     
    It never did any good to argue with Doro. Karl leaned back and finished disentangling
    himself from Mary. He would be with her in person soon. And even without Doro's
    warning he would not have wanted to go through much more of her transition with her.
    Before he broke the connection, he let her know that he was on his way to her, that she
    wouldn't be alone long. It had been two weeks since their marriage, two weeks since she
    had called him back to her bed. He hadn't gone out of his way to hurt her since then.
     
    He watched Doro maneuver the car into the right lane so that they could get on the
    Forsyth Freeway. Doro cut across the lanes, wove through the light traffic