his chest hurt to hear her apologizing when he should be begging her to forgive him. He'd treated her poorly. Shut her out. He just wasn't used to a woman who actually wanted to be close to him , a woman who actually gave a shit enough to try. "It's my problem. Something that I've never told anyone. Shit! I never even told the shrink that mom made me see after the whole thing happened. Not the whole truth anyway."
"Helen had you see a counselor?" she questioned in a low, thoughtful voice. Her hands covering the arms that he had wrapped around her waist, she squeezed gently in a comforting gesture.
He shivered, even though the water lapping over their skin was still hot. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, knowing that at this point...he was all in . It was time to risk it all, throw all his cards on the table and pray that he came out the winner, that she cared enough to stay with him. Truth was, he did trust Kara. Did he want to talk about his shame and irrational fears? Oh, hell no...he absolutely fucking didn't want to talk about it. But his obsession was to be close to the woman he was holding in his arms, the woman who was leaning back against him with complete faith and trust, a gentleness and patience that held him in awe of her.
Nothing between us. Ever.
"Yeah, she did. I saw Dr. Evans for over a year." His voice was hoarse and hesitant as his instincts warred with his emotions. "Mom wanted to make sure I was okay emotionally."
She squirmed back against him, pushing her body tightly against his, getting as close as she possibly could. Her hands slid down his arms, finding his hand under the water, entwining their fingers together.
He breathed in the scent of her as she tilted her head, resting it against his jaw, her fragrance surrounding him.
"Simon?" she whispered softly.
"Yeah?" He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.
"I love you." Her voice was barely audible. "I love everything that you are, every part of you. Nothing that happened in your distant past is going to change that. I even love you when you're bossy."
"I'm never bossy." He answered automatically, the walls around his heart crumbling, allowing his heart to soar. Holy shit! He had wanted her to say it, but he had never imagined that it was would feel this damn amazing to hear it. He wasn't sure what he had ever done to deserve a woman like her, but he wasn't stupid. He was keeping her. "You know that I'll never let you go now, don't you?" It wasn't really a question, but he figured that she should know his intentions.
"I didn't tell you so that you would feel obligated. I just wanted you to know." In a lighter tone, she added, "And you are bossy. Now tell me about Dr. Evans."
Obligated? She wasn't an obligation. She was his whole damn life. His arms tightened around her convulsively.
She loves me!
He relaxed, the tension draining from his body. Suddenly, talking about the past didn't seem quite so difficult. Yeah, he'd much rather take his woman to bed and show her exactly how much he worshipped her, but he wanted to do it with full disclosure. He needed to explain what had happened the other night, and the only way to do it was to talk about the past.
She loves me.
He started to talk.
Chapter 5
"Before I tell you about Dr. Evans, I guess I should start at the beginning."
Kara nodded, not wanting to interrupt the flow of his words with any questions or comments. She hadn't meant to confess her love, but she hadn't been able to help herself, hadn't been able to hold back the words. And she didn't regret it. She was weary from trying to hide it, and no man deserved to be loved more than Simon.
"My father died a month before the incident. Overdose. Drugs and alcohol. He was foolish enough to steal drugs from one of the biggest drug dealers on the west coast, a guy he ran errands for or distributed drugs for in return for enough drugs and booze to feed his own habit. He rarely got paid in cash, and even if he did, he didn't use it
"Helen had you see a counselor?" she questioned in a low, thoughtful voice. Her hands covering the arms that he had wrapped around her waist, she squeezed gently in a comforting gesture.
He shivered, even though the water lapping over their skin was still hot. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, knowing that at this point...he was all in . It was time to risk it all, throw all his cards on the table and pray that he came out the winner, that she cared enough to stay with him. Truth was, he did trust Kara. Did he want to talk about his shame and irrational fears? Oh, hell no...he absolutely fucking didn't want to talk about it. But his obsession was to be close to the woman he was holding in his arms, the woman who was leaning back against him with complete faith and trust, a gentleness and patience that held him in awe of her.
Nothing between us. Ever.
"Yeah, she did. I saw Dr. Evans for over a year." His voice was hoarse and hesitant as his instincts warred with his emotions. "Mom wanted to make sure I was okay emotionally."
She squirmed back against him, pushing her body tightly against his, getting as close as she possibly could. Her hands slid down his arms, finding his hand under the water, entwining their fingers together.
He breathed in the scent of her as she tilted her head, resting it against his jaw, her fragrance surrounding him.
"Simon?" she whispered softly.
"Yeah?" He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.
"I love you." Her voice was barely audible. "I love everything that you are, every part of you. Nothing that happened in your distant past is going to change that. I even love you when you're bossy."
"I'm never bossy." He answered automatically, the walls around his heart crumbling, allowing his heart to soar. Holy shit! He had wanted her to say it, but he had never imagined that it was would feel this damn amazing to hear it. He wasn't sure what he had ever done to deserve a woman like her, but he wasn't stupid. He was keeping her. "You know that I'll never let you go now, don't you?" It wasn't really a question, but he figured that she should know his intentions.
"I didn't tell you so that you would feel obligated. I just wanted you to know." In a lighter tone, she added, "And you are bossy. Now tell me about Dr. Evans."
Obligated? She wasn't an obligation. She was his whole damn life. His arms tightened around her convulsively.
She loves me!
He relaxed, the tension draining from his body. Suddenly, talking about the past didn't seem quite so difficult. Yeah, he'd much rather take his woman to bed and show her exactly how much he worshipped her, but he wanted to do it with full disclosure. He needed to explain what had happened the other night, and the only way to do it was to talk about the past.
She loves me.
He started to talk.
Chapter 5
"Before I tell you about Dr. Evans, I guess I should start at the beginning."
Kara nodded, not wanting to interrupt the flow of his words with any questions or comments. She hadn't meant to confess her love, but she hadn't been able to help herself, hadn't been able to hold back the words. And she didn't regret it. She was weary from trying to hide it, and no man deserved to be loved more than Simon.
"My father died a month before the incident. Overdose. Drugs and alcohol. He was foolish enough to steal drugs from one of the biggest drug dealers on the west coast, a guy he ran errands for or distributed drugs for in return for enough drugs and booze to feed his own habit. He rarely got paid in cash, and even if he did, he didn't use it
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