stirring. ‘I will now summon a spirit guide.’ Mojo closed her eyes and began chanting in a foreign language, like Mola Ram in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom .
I thought about leaving sneakily whilst her eyes were shut, but was too scared to go through with it. Anyway, before I had a chance to summon the courage, it looked as though she had already summoned a spirit guide.
She opened her eyes, scooped up the bones and rattled them in her caged palms. ‘Oh, spirit guide, speak your mind,’ she chanted, throwing the bones onto the table.
At this point, I was pretty creeped out.
‘The spirit guide has spoken.’ Mojo closed her eyes momentarily, then opened them again. ‘Interesting. The formation of the bones suggests that you are going through some difficulties at the moment. You will fall like Icarus, then rise like the Phoenix.’
‘ Well, cheers. I’ve learned a lot. But I’m afraid I’d better be–’
But, as I stood up to leave, Mojo put her large palms on my shoulders and sat me back down, a serious look on her face.
‘ Wait!’ Mojo pulled out another small bag and emptied its contents onto the table. Spread across the table were objects that looked like pieces from a Jumanji board game.
‘ What are those?’ I asked nervously.
‘ Ice rune stones. A symbol of struggle, conflict and achievement. Now,’ she commanded, ‘I want you to repeat after me, “Holy Goddess, mother of earth, mother of us all, guide my hand as I cast the rune stones, guide my mind as I interpret their meanings, guide my soul as I take them into my life.”’
I repeated it awkwardly, hoping no one I knew was watching.
‘ Now,’ said Mojo, ‘I want you to turn the rune stones over and stir them around clockwise whilst concentrating on a question.’
I did as I was told.
‘Now, pick a rune stone.’
I picked a rune stone.
‘ Interesting. Very interesting. You have picked a blank rune stone.’
‘ What does that mean?’
‘ It means one of two things: either the question is not ready or able to be judged or you are better off not knowing the answer,’ she clucked.
As I stood up to leave, Mojo sat me back down again with the strength of a giant.
‘Wait!’ she demanded, taking out a deck of cards, shuffling, cutting, then stacking them.
‘ Snap?’ I guessed.
‘ Tarot,’ she corrected, gimlet-eyed. ‘I want you to pick three cards from the deck, then lay them out.’
Once again, I did as I was told.
‘Now, turn over the first card,’ she instructed.
I turned over the first card.
It was Death.
I swallowed hard. ‘Death?’
‘ No, it is good.’
‘ How is death good ?’
‘ Death symbolises major change, transition, detachment and release. Now, turn over the second card.’
I turned over the second card.
It was The Fool.
‘ What does The Fool mean, then? It doesn’t mean I’m an idiot, does it?’
‘ Of course not. The Fool symbolises beginning, new start, spontaneity and taking a chance or risk. Now, turn over the third one.’
I hesitated for a moment. ‘Uh, hang on. Can I swap it before I turn it over?’
‘ As you wish.’
I swapped it with another card from the deck, then turned it over.
‘ Ah, yes. Wheel of Fortune symbolises destiny, fate beyond individual control, good luck and opportunity.’
I sat in silence for a moment, then stood up. ‘Well, thanks for the experience, Madame Mojo. It was very... uh... interesting.’ But before I had a chance to move she asked invitingly, ‘But don’t you want to know what it all means?’
I sat back down.
‘You are going through some major changes at the moment,’ she explained, ‘but don’t worry. When one door shuts, another opens. You need to take the opportunities that come your way. But remember to stay true to yourself.’
I sat in silence. ‘Okay, thanks,’ I said, attempting to stand, only to be stopped in my tracks once again. I might as well have been doing squats. I must’ve lost at least fifty
I thought about leaving sneakily whilst her eyes were shut, but was too scared to go through with it. Anyway, before I had a chance to summon the courage, it looked as though she had already summoned a spirit guide.
She opened her eyes, scooped up the bones and rattled them in her caged palms. ‘Oh, spirit guide, speak your mind,’ she chanted, throwing the bones onto the table.
At this point, I was pretty creeped out.
‘The spirit guide has spoken.’ Mojo closed her eyes momentarily, then opened them again. ‘Interesting. The formation of the bones suggests that you are going through some difficulties at the moment. You will fall like Icarus, then rise like the Phoenix.’
‘ Well, cheers. I’ve learned a lot. But I’m afraid I’d better be–’
But, as I stood up to leave, Mojo put her large palms on my shoulders and sat me back down, a serious look on her face.
‘ Wait!’ Mojo pulled out another small bag and emptied its contents onto the table. Spread across the table were objects that looked like pieces from a Jumanji board game.
‘ What are those?’ I asked nervously.
‘ Ice rune stones. A symbol of struggle, conflict and achievement. Now,’ she commanded, ‘I want you to repeat after me, “Holy Goddess, mother of earth, mother of us all, guide my hand as I cast the rune stones, guide my mind as I interpret their meanings, guide my soul as I take them into my life.”’
I repeated it awkwardly, hoping no one I knew was watching.
‘ Now,’ said Mojo, ‘I want you to turn the rune stones over and stir them around clockwise whilst concentrating on a question.’
I did as I was told.
‘Now, pick a rune stone.’
I picked a rune stone.
‘ Interesting. Very interesting. You have picked a blank rune stone.’
‘ What does that mean?’
‘ It means one of two things: either the question is not ready or able to be judged or you are better off not knowing the answer,’ she clucked.
As I stood up to leave, Mojo sat me back down again with the strength of a giant.
‘Wait!’ she demanded, taking out a deck of cards, shuffling, cutting, then stacking them.
‘ Snap?’ I guessed.
‘ Tarot,’ she corrected, gimlet-eyed. ‘I want you to pick three cards from the deck, then lay them out.’
Once again, I did as I was told.
‘Now, turn over the first card,’ she instructed.
I turned over the first card.
It was Death.
I swallowed hard. ‘Death?’
‘ No, it is good.’
‘ How is death good ?’
‘ Death symbolises major change, transition, detachment and release. Now, turn over the second card.’
I turned over the second card.
It was The Fool.
‘ What does The Fool mean, then? It doesn’t mean I’m an idiot, does it?’
‘ Of course not. The Fool symbolises beginning, new start, spontaneity and taking a chance or risk. Now, turn over the third one.’
I hesitated for a moment. ‘Uh, hang on. Can I swap it before I turn it over?’
‘ As you wish.’
I swapped it with another card from the deck, then turned it over.
‘ Ah, yes. Wheel of Fortune symbolises destiny, fate beyond individual control, good luck and opportunity.’
I sat in silence for a moment, then stood up. ‘Well, thanks for the experience, Madame Mojo. It was very... uh... interesting.’ But before I had a chance to move she asked invitingly, ‘But don’t you want to know what it all means?’
I sat back down.
‘You are going through some major changes at the moment,’ she explained, ‘but don’t worry. When one door shuts, another opens. You need to take the opportunities that come your way. But remember to stay true to yourself.’
I sat in silence. ‘Okay, thanks,’ I said, attempting to stand, only to be stopped in my tracks once again. I might as well have been doing squats. I must’ve lost at least fifty
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