Missing Pieces of My Forever-Heart by Janet Grosshandler Page B
Authors: Janet Grosshandler
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daughter,
“Hey sweetheart, how are you?”
“Hey Mom, I’m really good. What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m home after an interview in the city, a real heart-catching one. It’s gonna be a good article.”
“Mom, all your articles are good. You’re the best!”
Bless my Kaitlin. She was my best cheerleader. But I had the feeling she wanted something. “What’s up, Kait?”
“Well, remember I said I’d be coming home this weekend? My roommate just asked me to go to Boston for the weekend instead. Is that OK? I’m sorry. I know you’re lonely for us.”
I smiled at that. “Yes, I am lonely for you, but that’s fine. You’ll enjoy Boston. Doing something special?”
“Yeah, her friend has tickets to a concert on BU campus and we can stay in her apartment.”
“And here’s the same old warning, Kait. Be safe. Don’t drink anything someone hands to you if it’s open, etc. etc.”
“I know. I know, Mom. I’ll be safe. Sorry about the weekend.”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll find something else to do.”
“Thanks, Mom! Bye!”
And my college freshman daughter hung up, going about her new exciting life. That’s just the way it should be. But I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for myself as a long empty weekend loomed ahead.
I remembered the windshield note as I was getting into bed. Can’t ignore it any longer, Cath. The note was still in my purse so I went downstairs to get it.
Making a cup of sleepy time tea, I carried both the tea and the note upstairs to my bed. The paper felt like it had its own energy or was that just my imagination? I could feel Jame’s patience wearing thin and his decisiveness getting stronger. Or maybe I was making all this up.
Cath,
You haven’t answered my email so I figured this was the only way to stay in touch. I can’t even imagine what you think of me or my request, but I need your help. I am just asking for some information. That’s it and then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.
Jame
Yeah, I knew about his promises. He doesn’t keep them.
I emailed him back that night.
Jame,
Fine. I happen to be available on Saturday. I’ll meet with you for a few minutes but I’m not promising anything. Just seeing you is hard enough and no, you can’t possibly know how I feel, but I’m sure you know what I really think of you.
I’ll let you know the place and time. DO NOT come to my house again.
Cath
Chapter 24
26 Years Ago- Tallahassee, Florida
After finally telling my parents who refused to let me live with them and have Jame’s baby, it was decided (I didn’t have too much input since I was still destroyed by Jame’s leaving) that I would go to stay with my older cousins in Tallahassee, Florida until I had my baby and put it up for adoption.
My parents and certainly I did not have the money to raise a baby. I gave up my chance to go to Rutgers. This seemed like the only choice and actually it wasn’t a choice at all. It was what Jame and his parents forced on me and my parents.
My cousins were older, in their thirties, sharing a small house. They had an extra tiny bedroom for me and were so nice that we became like a small family ourselves. Judy was a nurse and Barbara worked for the county government so I had good care and the best information about adoption agencies.
I helped around the house and grew my baby as healthfully as possible. I tried not to get too attached to it because it wouldn’t ever be mine to keep. But how can you really do that when it’s inside you kicking and moving all the time?
I didn’t spend time wondering it if was a boy or a girl. Most times I wanted this to be over fast and other times I dreaded the end because I would be giving my baby away to someone else.
There were tears but I talked myself out of
“Hey sweetheart, how are you?”
“Hey Mom, I’m really good. What are you doing?”
“Well, I’m home after an interview in the city, a real heart-catching one. It’s gonna be a good article.”
“Mom, all your articles are good. You’re the best!”
Bless my Kaitlin. She was my best cheerleader. But I had the feeling she wanted something. “What’s up, Kait?”
“Well, remember I said I’d be coming home this weekend? My roommate just asked me to go to Boston for the weekend instead. Is that OK? I’m sorry. I know you’re lonely for us.”
I smiled at that. “Yes, I am lonely for you, but that’s fine. You’ll enjoy Boston. Doing something special?”
“Yeah, her friend has tickets to a concert on BU campus and we can stay in her apartment.”
“And here’s the same old warning, Kait. Be safe. Don’t drink anything someone hands to you if it’s open, etc. etc.”
“I know. I know, Mom. I’ll be safe. Sorry about the weekend.”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll find something else to do.”
“Thanks, Mom! Bye!”
And my college freshman daughter hung up, going about her new exciting life. That’s just the way it should be. But I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for myself as a long empty weekend loomed ahead.
I remembered the windshield note as I was getting into bed. Can’t ignore it any longer, Cath. The note was still in my purse so I went downstairs to get it.
Making a cup of sleepy time tea, I carried both the tea and the note upstairs to my bed. The paper felt like it had its own energy or was that just my imagination? I could feel Jame’s patience wearing thin and his decisiveness getting stronger. Or maybe I was making all this up.
Cath,
You haven’t answered my email so I figured this was the only way to stay in touch. I can’t even imagine what you think of me or my request, but I need your help. I am just asking for some information. That’s it and then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.
Jame
Yeah, I knew about his promises. He doesn’t keep them.
I emailed him back that night.
Jame,
Fine. I happen to be available on Saturday. I’ll meet with you for a few minutes but I’m not promising anything. Just seeing you is hard enough and no, you can’t possibly know how I feel, but I’m sure you know what I really think of you.
I’ll let you know the place and time. DO NOT come to my house again.
Cath
Chapter 24
26 Years Ago- Tallahassee, Florida
After finally telling my parents who refused to let me live with them and have Jame’s baby, it was decided (I didn’t have too much input since I was still destroyed by Jame’s leaving) that I would go to stay with my older cousins in Tallahassee, Florida until I had my baby and put it up for adoption.
My parents and certainly I did not have the money to raise a baby. I gave up my chance to go to Rutgers. This seemed like the only choice and actually it wasn’t a choice at all. It was what Jame and his parents forced on me and my parents.
My cousins were older, in their thirties, sharing a small house. They had an extra tiny bedroom for me and were so nice that we became like a small family ourselves. Judy was a nurse and Barbara worked for the county government so I had good care and the best information about adoption agencies.
I helped around the house and grew my baby as healthfully as possible. I tried not to get too attached to it because it wouldn’t ever be mine to keep. But how can you really do that when it’s inside you kicking and moving all the time?
I didn’t spend time wondering it if was a boy or a girl. Most times I wanted this to be over fast and other times I dreaded the end because I would be giving my baby away to someone else.
There were tears but I talked myself out of
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