Monkey Business by Sarah Mlynowski Page B

school.
    Carl nods. Apparently he knows all about the bureaucrats. “It’s a mess up there, huh?”
    I carry my tray back to my table. Russ and Kimmy’s heads are inclined together in conversation. How did they come to be at dinner together, exactly?
    Russ says something, and Kimmy peals with laughter. Russ smiles and leans closer. If I didn’t know about Sharon, I’d swear that Russ is making a move on my woman.
    â€œSo what did you two think of Stats?” I ask, depositing my tray.
    â€œUseless,” Russ says. “Professor Gold obviously doesn’t want to be teaching an intro class.”
    â€œSeems that way,” I agree. “She phoned in her lecture.”
    â€œWhat does that mean?” Kimmy asks.
    â€œIt’s an expression. Like in baseball, someone who phones in a game means he didn’t really try. Russ, you a baseball man?”
    â€œNot so much. I play basketball.”
    Guess we won’t be watching the games together.
    Kimmy sips another spoonful of soup. She is the slowest eater I’ve ever seen. “Personally, I prefer male professors.”
    â€œWhy?” I ask, surprised.
    â€œI’ve never liked my female professors. They’re always bitchy. Like they’re trying to prove something.”
    Russ uses his fork to extricate the meat crumbs in the crevices of his plate. “Like female customs agents. They always try to nail me when I’m crossing the border.”
    I’ve never heard of a female student not wanting a woman at the front of the class. “I thought you’d like having a female professor. They always seem to favor the female students.”
    â€œNo, they don’t,” she says, shaking her head. “They always want me to fail.”
    â€œMaybe the ones you’ve had were jealous of your beauty and talent,” I say, and wink.
    She laughs and pushes her soup bowl away from her. “Maybe.”
    I blow her a kiss. “Unlike the other profs, at least she didn’t give an assignment for Wednesday.”
    â€œI know,” Russ says, shaking his head. “I bet we get just as much work tomorrow,” he complains. “Better start my reading now. But first I’m getting a bag of chips.”
    Yes, Russ, why don’t you go study…somewhere far away, maybe?
    â€œSo what are you doing tonight?” I ask, once Russ is safely away from the table and in the food line. “Want to see a movie?”
    â€œI…we have a ton of reading to do,” she says.
    Not what I wanted to hear. I was looking for a more positive response, like maybe, “Sounds fabulous!” or dare I hope for “I’d love to be entertained by both you and Hollywood!”
    â€œCome on, it’s only the first day of school. It’s just going to get worse, my darlin’. Enjoy it while you can.”
    â€œThat’s true. Maybe. Where’s the movie theater?”
    â€œOnly a ten-minute drive away. It’s just past the Children’s Hospital, if you know where that is.”
    â€œYou have a car at school?” she asks, leaning toward me.
    â€œYeah,” I say smoothly. Score! Who doesn’t want to date the guy with the car?
    Russ slides into the seat beside Kimmy and slashes open his bag. A ketchup cloud wafts above the table. “Chip?” he offers.
    â€œNo, thanks,” Kimmy says.
    I take a few.
    Kimmy turns to Russ. “Jamie just suggested we go to a movie tonight. What do you think?”
    We? What we? Who invited Russ? She and I equals romance. Russ, she and I equals group goes to movie.
    I try to catch Russ’s eye to mime the signal that he shouldsay no. That subtle male clue would be me frantically shaking my head.
    He says, “Sounds good.”
    He’s killing me here. “I thought you wanted to get a head start on your work.”
    â€œIt’s only going to get worse, eh?”
    Bastard.

8:50 p.m.
kimmy’s double