they’d taught her and swinging her fist to connect with his shoulder. “Of course I love Ben.”
“And you know we love you, right?”
Shoving him, trying to regain her space, she looked about ready to kick his ass rather than kiss him. “I’ve never doubted that once, not ever.”
“Then why do you think this—” he grabbed her hand and placed it on his dick, “—will change how we feel about one another?”
Her breath shuddered out and the flush he was growing to crave spread up her neck. “We discussed this already. We even experimented and—”
Satisfying himself, at least a little, he rubbed her hand against him. Within seconds, she’d taken over the motion, seeming fascinated by the desire he didn’t even try to hide from her. “We’ve only half-experimented. We’ve toyed with touching. I don’t want to play around. I want you. Ben wants you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Just tell us if that isn’t what you want, and we’ll back off. Can you see yourself with us?”
Releasing him and backing up, one hand plucking at her tank top to fan air and the other clearly shaking, she shook her head. “See myself with you both for what? A fuck? A few fucks? What, so I can fall entirely in love with you both and know what it feels like to be between you, to have your entire focus on me? Then what, Grady?”
“What do you mean, then what?” Ben closed the distance between them, moving to face off with her side-by-side with Grady. “What do you think happens after we make love, Carrie?”
His soft words after their impassioned ones left all of them breathing deep for a moment before Carrie raised her hands in an almost submissive posture—like she gave up. “ Fucking , Ben. Call it what it would be. If we fucked, had a threesome, it would be hot. It would probably blow my mind. But it would be that—a fuck. What else could come of the three of us having sex? We can’t be in a relationship, not all of us together. So then what happens? Let me fill in the blanks for you. I’d then always know what it was like to be with you, both of you. I’d have to watch you go on with your lives, maybe get married or have kids, whatever. I wouldn’t want to lose either of you, so I’d stay part of your world, maybe bounce your kids on my knee or something equally lame… But I think it would break my heart. I can’t bear a life without either of you in it. At least this way, it will always be what could have been rather than me learning to live with the carnal knowledge of what it felt like. It’s just…I don’t know, safer.”
Grady shook his head slowly. “Life and love aren’t safe, they aren’t fair, and you’re suppositioning the rest of our lives away. Carrie, I don’t know that I will ever want anyone as much as I want you. Ben and I have talked about it—we both feel the same way. We’re not looking to screw you and leave. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t work out long term. But what if it did?”
She shook her head, hands coming up to hug herself as if to fend off his words or protect her from the possibilities he offered. “Maybe? What, the three of us might possibly move in together? Make a life together? In what—”
Ben interrupted, reaching for her. Closing his hands over her upper arms, he tugged her close enough that he could rest his forehead against hers. “That’s what we’re trying to tell you, Carrie. We’ve already built our lives together. We’ve already chosen to be together. Any one of us could have gotten in another relationship over the years. None of us have, not for a damned long time. Because we’re in a relationship already—with you.”
She shook her head. “I’m not your type and how—”
Grady reached out a hand, delving it into her soft hair. “You’re my type. You’ve always been my type. No other relationship had a chance—not when I was already happy with you two assholes.”
She sniffled and laughed at the same time before
“And you know we love you, right?”
Shoving him, trying to regain her space, she looked about ready to kick his ass rather than kiss him. “I’ve never doubted that once, not ever.”
“Then why do you think this—” he grabbed her hand and placed it on his dick, “—will change how we feel about one another?”
Her breath shuddered out and the flush he was growing to crave spread up her neck. “We discussed this already. We even experimented and—”
Satisfying himself, at least a little, he rubbed her hand against him. Within seconds, she’d taken over the motion, seeming fascinated by the desire he didn’t even try to hide from her. “We’ve only half-experimented. We’ve toyed with touching. I don’t want to play around. I want you. Ben wants you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Just tell us if that isn’t what you want, and we’ll back off. Can you see yourself with us?”
Releasing him and backing up, one hand plucking at her tank top to fan air and the other clearly shaking, she shook her head. “See myself with you both for what? A fuck? A few fucks? What, so I can fall entirely in love with you both and know what it feels like to be between you, to have your entire focus on me? Then what, Grady?”
“What do you mean, then what?” Ben closed the distance between them, moving to face off with her side-by-side with Grady. “What do you think happens after we make love, Carrie?”
His soft words after their impassioned ones left all of them breathing deep for a moment before Carrie raised her hands in an almost submissive posture—like she gave up. “ Fucking , Ben. Call it what it would be. If we fucked, had a threesome, it would be hot. It would probably blow my mind. But it would be that—a fuck. What else could come of the three of us having sex? We can’t be in a relationship, not all of us together. So then what happens? Let me fill in the blanks for you. I’d then always know what it was like to be with you, both of you. I’d have to watch you go on with your lives, maybe get married or have kids, whatever. I wouldn’t want to lose either of you, so I’d stay part of your world, maybe bounce your kids on my knee or something equally lame… But I think it would break my heart. I can’t bear a life without either of you in it. At least this way, it will always be what could have been rather than me learning to live with the carnal knowledge of what it felt like. It’s just…I don’t know, safer.”
Grady shook his head slowly. “Life and love aren’t safe, they aren’t fair, and you’re suppositioning the rest of our lives away. Carrie, I don’t know that I will ever want anyone as much as I want you. Ben and I have talked about it—we both feel the same way. We’re not looking to screw you and leave. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t work out long term. But what if it did?”
She shook her head, hands coming up to hug herself as if to fend off his words or protect her from the possibilities he offered. “Maybe? What, the three of us might possibly move in together? Make a life together? In what—”
Ben interrupted, reaching for her. Closing his hands over her upper arms, he tugged her close enough that he could rest his forehead against hers. “That’s what we’re trying to tell you, Carrie. We’ve already built our lives together. We’ve already chosen to be together. Any one of us could have gotten in another relationship over the years. None of us have, not for a damned long time. Because we’re in a relationship already—with you.”
She shook her head. “I’m not your type and how—”
Grady reached out a hand, delving it into her soft hair. “You’re my type. You’ve always been my type. No other relationship had a chance—not when I was already happy with you two assholes.”
She sniffled and laughed at the same time before
Similar Books
