tightens and looks strange as if she did make them out of papier-mche. “Whoa,” Amity says. “Whoa, Bubba. We’ve talked about my family longer than we’ve talked about yours.” She finishes with the earrings and positions her hands in the time-out signal.
“You’re right,” I acknowledge. “Fair is fair. No more family talk.” Still, hers must be the first moneyed family on earth that is i well adjusted. Hard to believe.
When Troy arrives, she has me answer the door. We shake and head for the sofa in the little sitting room off the kitchen. Ri away I can tell he is friendly, outgoing, thick. Like if you asked’ him what the capital of Texas was, he’d say, “The T.” He is to the nth. A big, blond prep boy in khakis and a plaid button-downl shirt. Webbed belt, polished loafers, the whole nine yards. Not nearly as mysterious as that day I saw him at the airport. Now understand the dress Amity has chosen. And when Amity her entrance, she is the perfect preppy date. I notice she’s reserved, somewhat proper, in her manner with Troy, which really surprises me, because this is the first time I’ve seen her hold back,
We all get stoned together on some pot I bought before leaving Kansas, and Troy and I grow stupider while Amity becomes more alert. It is really the most intense pot I’ve ever had I bought it from a town cop, who I assume took it after busting some student. It smells like a ground-up pine tree, and I keep it in a baggie that has pictures of Mickey Mouse on it. After Troy and Amity leave, my beeper goes off. I’m so fucked up I can hardly dial the phone, and I want to die when they tell me I have to make it out to the airport for the last departure to Houston. I can’t even function when I’m stoned.
As usual, I’m assigned to our smallest, least glamorous aircraft, the DC-9. The two girls I fly with, Beverly and Angela, look at me with great suspicion. Maybe I’m paranoid, but I’m sure they know I’m stoned. I’ve doused my eyeballs with Visine, but they’re still redder than diaper rash and drier than lint. I blink every two seconds, and though I keep using Visine, it’s like pointlessly adding water to dead potted plants.
“Are you all right?” All rot? Beverly asks, as we prepare the cart in the galley. She’s a hefty gal with large hips, fat ankles, and heavy earrings. She put her hand to her mouth and whispered about me to Angela after I introduced myself in the flight attendant lounge. “Fine. Why?”
She tells me, accusingly, “Your eyes look funny.”
The truth is, her eyes look funny too. I wonder if Mary Kay has anything left in her inventory. “I have allergies,” I lie.
“Maybe you should see a doctor,” she suggests snidely.
“Maybe you should too,” I answer, fumbling a cup of condiment packets that lands on the floor.
She’s perplexed. “Why should I see a doctor?”
I’m on the floor, picking up these stupid little packets of coffee whitener, and my marijuana-induced paranoia makes me want to hide inside the stinky lavatory until we get to Houston. “I don’t know. When was your last … inspection?”
“For what?”
I don’t know. I’m stoned out of my mind! “Um… your levels.” “What levels?” “Oil.”
“My oil levels? What the hell are you talking about?” she her beefy ankles inches from my face.
“You could be low,” I caution.
“I think your brain levels are low,” she snips. “Come on. need to get these people their drinks before we land.”
I peel the last packet off the scummy floor and stand up
I realize she’s extended the shelf on the end of the cart. My hits it as I rise, and a can of Pepsi falls to the floor and spewing both of us with a spray of sticky soda. She screams clings to the emergency door while the can spins around, Pepsi onto everything in its radius.
Fuck this stupid job. I want my inheritance.
I”
If
I”
CHAPTEg
FIVE
[ urry, Harry! I’m so nervous Troy’s going to come
“You’re right,” I acknowledge. “Fair is fair. No more family talk.” Still, hers must be the first moneyed family on earth that is i well adjusted. Hard to believe.
When Troy arrives, she has me answer the door. We shake and head for the sofa in the little sitting room off the kitchen. Ri away I can tell he is friendly, outgoing, thick. Like if you asked’ him what the capital of Texas was, he’d say, “The T.” He is to the nth. A big, blond prep boy in khakis and a plaid button-downl shirt. Webbed belt, polished loafers, the whole nine yards. Not nearly as mysterious as that day I saw him at the airport. Now understand the dress Amity has chosen. And when Amity her entrance, she is the perfect preppy date. I notice she’s reserved, somewhat proper, in her manner with Troy, which really surprises me, because this is the first time I’ve seen her hold back,
We all get stoned together on some pot I bought before leaving Kansas, and Troy and I grow stupider while Amity becomes more alert. It is really the most intense pot I’ve ever had I bought it from a town cop, who I assume took it after busting some student. It smells like a ground-up pine tree, and I keep it in a baggie that has pictures of Mickey Mouse on it. After Troy and Amity leave, my beeper goes off. I’m so fucked up I can hardly dial the phone, and I want to die when they tell me I have to make it out to the airport for the last departure to Houston. I can’t even function when I’m stoned.
As usual, I’m assigned to our smallest, least glamorous aircraft, the DC-9. The two girls I fly with, Beverly and Angela, look at me with great suspicion. Maybe I’m paranoid, but I’m sure they know I’m stoned. I’ve doused my eyeballs with Visine, but they’re still redder than diaper rash and drier than lint. I blink every two seconds, and though I keep using Visine, it’s like pointlessly adding water to dead potted plants.
“Are you all right?” All rot? Beverly asks, as we prepare the cart in the galley. She’s a hefty gal with large hips, fat ankles, and heavy earrings. She put her hand to her mouth and whispered about me to Angela after I introduced myself in the flight attendant lounge. “Fine. Why?”
She tells me, accusingly, “Your eyes look funny.”
The truth is, her eyes look funny too. I wonder if Mary Kay has anything left in her inventory. “I have allergies,” I lie.
“Maybe you should see a doctor,” she suggests snidely.
“Maybe you should too,” I answer, fumbling a cup of condiment packets that lands on the floor.
She’s perplexed. “Why should I see a doctor?”
I’m on the floor, picking up these stupid little packets of coffee whitener, and my marijuana-induced paranoia makes me want to hide inside the stinky lavatory until we get to Houston. “I don’t know. When was your last … inspection?”
“For what?”
I don’t know. I’m stoned out of my mind! “Um… your levels.” “What levels?” “Oil.”
“My oil levels? What the hell are you talking about?” she her beefy ankles inches from my face.
“You could be low,” I caution.
“I think your brain levels are low,” she snips. “Come on. need to get these people their drinks before we land.”
I peel the last packet off the scummy floor and stand up
I realize she’s extended the shelf on the end of the cart. My hits it as I rise, and a can of Pepsi falls to the floor and spewing both of us with a spray of sticky soda. She screams clings to the emergency door while the can spins around, Pepsi onto everything in its radius.
Fuck this stupid job. I want my inheritance.
I”
If
I”
CHAPTEg
FIVE
[ urry, Harry! I’m so nervous Troy’s going to come
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