talk again, all she could manage by way of
conversation was a few more high-pitched strangled
squeaks which sounded like a mouse being garrotted.
Not that I've ever heard a mouse being garrotted but,
well, if I had it would probably have sounded like Shelly.
It was weird the way Shelly got all shy and stupid
around Michael, but maybe even queen bitches like her
lose their cool when confronted with someone as totally
gorgeous as him. Suppose one of the few good things
about being a flat-chested brunette like me is that boys
like him are so totally out of my league it doesn't matter
what I say or do. So I can just be, like, totally cool about
it.
MONDAY MARCH 15TH
Liz has decided that it's definitely time I had a boyfriend
and snogged someone. It would finally kill all the
rumours about me being gay, so annoy Shelly, and it
would be good for my psychosocial development, whatever
that is.
She says the new boy William who started in
January has told his friend Dave, who told Gary, who told
Beth and Melissa, who told Liz, that he fancies me.
Hmm, William. He's a bit freckly and thin, but not
totally ugly, so I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with
him. Don't know that I really want to snog him though,
but I suppose I could manage it if I closed my eyes and
thought about something else. It's not as though he's so
ugly I'd throw up or anything. Anyway, as Liz says, I
don't have to marry him and have his kids, I just have to
be seen snogging him a few times, and I think I could
manage that.
Yeah. Told Liz OK, I'd do it.
TUESDAY MARCH 16TH
Liz spotted him in the corridors at break time heading
towards the boys' toilets. 'Quick, Kelly Ann, he's on his
own and if you hurry you could catch him.'
I ran off after him and managed to reach him just
before he got to the door. I grabbed him by the arm. He
turned round, startled, then stepped back away from me
until he was right against the wall. I moved closer and
smiled in what I hoped was an attractive and reassuring
manner but felt my expression turn into a grimace as I
became aware of the more-than-slight pong that always
seems to hang about the entrance to the boys' toilets.
Decided to come straight to the point: 'My friend Liz says
you like me.'
He flushed but didn't deny it, mumbling something
which sounded a bit like, yeah, he thought I was OK. That
would have to do.
'So do you want to be my boyfriend then?'
He looked from side to side – I suppose to check if anyone
was nosing in on our conversation – then said quietly,
'Erm, well maybe. I don't know.'
This didn't sound too promising and wasn't what Liz
had made me think. She'd told me he was dead keen.
'What's maybe supposed to mean? Aren't you sure? Why
not?'
He held his palms out towards me defensively. 'No
offence, Kelly Ann, it's just I'm not certain whether we're
suited or not.'
Hmm, wondered what he'd been hearing about me.
Maybe Shelly and her lot had got to him already, spreading
their poison. 'I'm not a lesbian if that's what you
think. You really shouldn't believe everything you read in
the girls' toilets, you know.'
A couple of first-year boys passed behind me on their
way into the toilets and looked at us curiously, so I
bawled at them to get lost and stop being so nosy before
fixing my smile back in place and trying not to breathe
through my nose.
William put his hands back down, then stared at me
strangely. 'I don't read stuff in the girls' toilets.'
'No, well, I suppose not, but anyway, I'm definitely not
gay just so you know.'
'Right. Good. But, er, maybe we should get to know
each other first before deciding whether we'd like to be
boyfriend and girlfriend. OK?'
'Well, all right. What do you want to know?'
'Um, I'm not sure exactly. Look, could I go to the toilet
now? Please ?'
Glanced over at Liz, who was smiling encouragement
at me but also pointing to her watch. William was trying
to sidle past me, but obviously I couldn't let him go without
getting something definite arranged to report to
conversation was a few more high-pitched strangled
squeaks which sounded like a mouse being garrotted.
Not that I've ever heard a mouse being garrotted but,
well, if I had it would probably have sounded like Shelly.
It was weird the way Shelly got all shy and stupid
around Michael, but maybe even queen bitches like her
lose their cool when confronted with someone as totally
gorgeous as him. Suppose one of the few good things
about being a flat-chested brunette like me is that boys
like him are so totally out of my league it doesn't matter
what I say or do. So I can just be, like, totally cool about
it.
MONDAY MARCH 15TH
Liz has decided that it's definitely time I had a boyfriend
and snogged someone. It would finally kill all the
rumours about me being gay, so annoy Shelly, and it
would be good for my psychosocial development, whatever
that is.
She says the new boy William who started in
January has told his friend Dave, who told Gary, who told
Beth and Melissa, who told Liz, that he fancies me.
Hmm, William. He's a bit freckly and thin, but not
totally ugly, so I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with
him. Don't know that I really want to snog him though,
but I suppose I could manage it if I closed my eyes and
thought about something else. It's not as though he's so
ugly I'd throw up or anything. Anyway, as Liz says, I
don't have to marry him and have his kids, I just have to
be seen snogging him a few times, and I think I could
manage that.
Yeah. Told Liz OK, I'd do it.
TUESDAY MARCH 16TH
Liz spotted him in the corridors at break time heading
towards the boys' toilets. 'Quick, Kelly Ann, he's on his
own and if you hurry you could catch him.'
I ran off after him and managed to reach him just
before he got to the door. I grabbed him by the arm. He
turned round, startled, then stepped back away from me
until he was right against the wall. I moved closer and
smiled in what I hoped was an attractive and reassuring
manner but felt my expression turn into a grimace as I
became aware of the more-than-slight pong that always
seems to hang about the entrance to the boys' toilets.
Decided to come straight to the point: 'My friend Liz says
you like me.'
He flushed but didn't deny it, mumbling something
which sounded a bit like, yeah, he thought I was OK. That
would have to do.
'So do you want to be my boyfriend then?'
He looked from side to side – I suppose to check if anyone
was nosing in on our conversation – then said quietly,
'Erm, well maybe. I don't know.'
This didn't sound too promising and wasn't what Liz
had made me think. She'd told me he was dead keen.
'What's maybe supposed to mean? Aren't you sure? Why
not?'
He held his palms out towards me defensively. 'No
offence, Kelly Ann, it's just I'm not certain whether we're
suited or not.'
Hmm, wondered what he'd been hearing about me.
Maybe Shelly and her lot had got to him already, spreading
their poison. 'I'm not a lesbian if that's what you
think. You really shouldn't believe everything you read in
the girls' toilets, you know.'
A couple of first-year boys passed behind me on their
way into the toilets and looked at us curiously, so I
bawled at them to get lost and stop being so nosy before
fixing my smile back in place and trying not to breathe
through my nose.
William put his hands back down, then stared at me
strangely. 'I don't read stuff in the girls' toilets.'
'No, well, I suppose not, but anyway, I'm definitely not
gay just so you know.'
'Right. Good. But, er, maybe we should get to know
each other first before deciding whether we'd like to be
boyfriend and girlfriend. OK?'
'Well, all right. What do you want to know?'
'Um, I'm not sure exactly. Look, could I go to the toilet
now? Please ?'
Glanced over at Liz, who was smiling encouragement
at me but also pointing to her watch. William was trying
to sidle past me, but obviously I couldn't let him go without
getting something definite arranged to report to
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