My Former Self

My Former Self by C. T. Musca Page B

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Authors: C. T. Musca
Tags: Fiction, General
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I’m aware of their cumbersome weight restricting my movement. He’s looking at me as though he is going to pounce on me, like a tiger in the wild. I immediately react and push him away from me, looking at him in disgust.
    “Get your fucking hands off me,” I yell, loud enough for those around us on the dance floor to hear, includingDeb and Bud, who has been coerced onto the floor. Cort looks shocked, and I realize that I’ve overreacted. I grab my bag and leave the bar. I run out onto the street and get into a cab that’s waiting by the sidewalk. As it pulls away, I see Cort come out of the bar, looking for me.

Summer 1989
    “S o, are you going to admit that Tina
is
your type?” Because Jeremy and I discuss everything, I know that we have to talk about what I saw last night.
    “It was nothing. She just started kissing me, and because I had a few beers, I wasn’t really thinking clearly,” he responds.
    “Oh, okay,” I say in a sarcastic way.
    “I’m serious. I don’t like her. I’m with Sarah and that’s that.”
    I guess that’s the end of the conversation. Usually he’d confide a little more, but he must be feeling guiltyabout what happened. Maybe if he discusses it with me, then it’s like admitting that he really did cheat on his girlfriend, and I don’t think he likes that idea. I drop it too because there is no use fighting with him. I’d never win.
    Tonight is game night at the cottage and it’s my turn to choose the game. My sister and I always choose Monopoly, and tonight is no different. We get our snacks and drinks and settle down to play. Mom sits out as she sometimes does. She cleans around the cottage, makes food for the next day, or reads. I have to admit, I don’t mind when she sits out; she is very competitive and gets frustrated if she doesn’t win.
    By the middle of the game Jeremy has yet again emerged as the leader, owning Boardwalk and Park Place, along with six other properties. He’s got hotels and houses on most of them and it’s making it tough for the rest of us to survive. Uncle Jack takes some money from the bank, as he’s the banker, and places it on my chair beside my leg. I don’t like to cheat, but I will do it this once to live on in this game, especially since Jer is being so cocky. He keeps saying he is going to take me down and rule this game. This is our last night at the cottage, so I figure I will not go down without a fight.
    As I am starting to get a little more money in the game, we hear a knock at the door. Moments later Momcomes in to tell Jeremy that there is a girl at the door. Sandy says, “Aww,” and Jeremy abruptly tells her to shutup. He goes out to the front porch. I can see through the window that it’s Tina. She must know that it’s his last night and she wants to talk—or make out—with him one last time.
    The game is put on hold while Jeremy is outside.
    “Anyone want anything from the kitchen?” Uncle Jack asks while we wait.
    “Sure, Jack, I’ll have a beer. Thanks,” Dad responds.
    “Me too,” Sandy says with a smile. “Actually, can you make it a rye and Coke? Thanks, Jack.”
    “Okay, kiddo,” he winks at her. “How about you, Ton?”
    “I’ll have Pepsi, if there’s any left.”
    “Done.” And Uncle Jack is gone and back in a few minutes.
    My sister calls to Mom in the family room, “Mom, do you have any more of that casserole—the one that tastes like the smell of suntan lotion?”
    Mom replies, “What on earth are you talking about? How can something taste like a smell? Last night’s casserole is in the fridge. Help yourself.”
    “More importantly, why would you want to eat something that tastes—or smells—like suntan lotion?!” I add my two cents.
    From the window I hear Jeremy say, “Well, it’s not like we’re even going to see each other. There’s no point.” And within a minute he is inside, sitting down and ready to play. It seems that last line must have ticked her off, because she left

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