My Life From Hell

My Life From Hell by Tellulah Darling

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Authors: Tellulah Darling
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cardigan, since I was super self-conscious about my arms.
    “My wardrobe is fine,” I snapped. “I was a student. Not a club kid.” I perked up as I heard Theo call out, “Incoming with Saul.” Saul was his nickname for Hannah.
    I grinned, pushed away from the table and skipped over to her. The two of us burst into gleeful shrieks while jumping up and down holding hands. Yup, totally channeling our inner eleven-year-olds here.
    It had been almost a month since we’d seen each other. For the two of us, having grown up at boarding school together, that felt magnified by dog years. Students weren’t allowed cell phones at Hope Park, and our Skype time had been limited. Seeing Hannah now? It was like having my other half back with me.
    A piercing whistle cut through the noise of our reunion.
    We glanced at Theo, whose arms were laden with dresses. “Where do you want these?”
    Hannah and I exchanged a wordless look, in which we communicated an entire pros and cons discussion of leaving the clothes in the living room versus the bathroom versus the bedroom.
    “Bedroom,” we said in unison.
    I felt somewhat smug that I had a silent psychic buddy, too.
    Theo dutifully headed off with everything.
    Hannah enveloped me in a giant hug. “Happy birthday, Kitten.” Her eyebrows rose as her hand brushed my bicep. She gave it a squeeze. “And hello, Warrior Princess.”
    I flexed for her as we broke apart. “Me of all people, right?”
    “We live in strange times,” she said gravely.
    “Yeah, yeah. Enough chit chat. More presents for pretty girls,” I said.
    She waved me off. “Later. Maybe.”
    I was so getting a present.
    I held Hannah at arms’ length to take her in. Being tall, blonde, and beautiful meant that she could wear a potato sack and be dressed to kill. Thing is, Hannah was a huge science geek who until recently, had preferred jeans and corny science pun T-shirts. Then she’d met and started dating Pierce, a.k.a Eros, the God of Love. Shockingly, she’d started dressing like a girl soon afterward. A very hot girl.
    “You look even more disgustingly gorgeous than usual,” I said.
    “I know,” she replied without an ounce of modesty. “Check out the attire.” She ran a hand along her body. Her outfit consisted of a short, flowy, strapless babydoll dress with a sweetheart neckline, all in the palest gold. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail and she wore the funky, hammered gold hoops I’d bought her for her sixteenth birthday.
    I nodded. “Perfect ‘get past the velvet rope and all you losers be damned’ look.”
    Hannah exhaled hard. “Oh good. I was worried I was being too subtle.”
    I laughed and twirled my finger in the international sign for “turn around and let me check you out from the rear.” She obliged. The back of her dress had a fat band across her shoulder blades, with a wide cut out section underneath. Strappy gold heels completed the hotness.
    Festos gave her a wolf whistle. “I could turn straight for that.”
    Theo chuckled as he returned from my bedroom, his arms now empty. “You can’t even draw straight.”
    Festos was right, though. Hannah looked amazing. But more than that, she glowed with happiness. She was a total goner in love with Pierce.
    And I was really glad for her.
    For the first hour she spent talking about him anyway. Then I wanted to shove my bestest friend out my bedroom window. Because, hello? She was dating the God of Love. Dude was the most romantic guy in the history of the universe. No date night of Playstation and a pizza. Nope, his latest escapade had involved taking her on a midnight picnic at some ancient ruins on a beach. Not what I wanted to hear right now.
    Hannah zipped me into a little red number. “…Then,” she continued, “I decided to come home for spring break this week since dad is tied up with a big case, which meant I’d have a ton of unsupervised time with Pierce.” She half-sighed, half-giggled (who was this

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