Instead he pulls me to him and runs his hands up and down my arms while trailing delicate little kisses along the top of my head. Tears stream from my eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, leaning his cheek against my head.
“Sorry? You’re not sorry. You’re the reason I’m in this mess. If you wanted to help me or save me, why didn’t you let me go at the hospital?”
“I only had minutes to get you out of your brother’s room without them knowing. I tried, but you fought me.”
“What did you expect? My brother was beaten to the edge of death and you grab me from behind. Did you think I’d go willingly?”
“We’re here now. We can’t go back and change the past,” he says, still holding me.
“No. But we can go to the police and tell them everything. We can tell them what these animals did to Sammy. I’m sure they’re investigating. Maybe they already know.”
“The police aren’t an option.”
“Why not?” I squeal as I pull away from him enough that I can look into his eyes.
“Because they’re on the payroll.”
“We’ll call the news. Everyone from the local and national television stations. They’ll blast it out and then everyone will know. Someone will help us.”
“If anyone even bothers to look into this, you’ll be made to look crazy. They’ll portray you as hysterical and say that the incident with your brother triggered PTSD from the death of your parents, and because of it, you’re convinced there is a conspiracy against you. You won’t be able to get a restraining order, or any other sort of protection, and they’ll have free access to you.”
“How do you know this?”
“They already ran through the scenarios. I tried to talk them out of it. Gave them every reason to think it was a bad idea. I thought I could make them see you weren’t worth the trouble.”
Those words shouldn’t make me flinch, but they do. They hit me like a slap across the face. Dima’s hands reach for my cheeks again. His lips are close. So fucking close. I should punch him in the nose. Push him away. Fight him. But my mind is screaming out for him to lean just a little closer. Like if he kisses me, it will make all the other shit disappear.
His eyes drop down to my lips, and I hold my breath waiting for him to kiss me. He’s hesitating, and I consider grabbing his shirt and pulling him the rest of the way to me. Before I decide, it comes to an end. It’s like there’s an invisible barrier between us that he can’t cross, no matter how hard he tries.
The air around us changes. The heat and energy that had just been kicked up about ten notches cools down. I shudder, unsure if it’s the thought that I wanted this evil man to kiss me, to fill me with a false sense of hope and phony promises, or because he didn’t and I’m afraid he has no real desire to. Disappointed, I let out the breath I held.
“That didn’t come out the way I mean it. I mean you’re not worth it to them. You’re worth it to me, or else I wouldn’t be here and you’d already be holed up in a room servicing dirty old men.”
I hug my arms around myself.
Trying to comfort me, he pulls me into his arms, but only for a moment. They’re warm and strong, and I’ve never felt safer until he curses under his breath and lets me go. I watch in silence as he steps away.
“I’m doing everything I can. We just need to give it some time.”
“How is time going to make it any better?” I sound weak and broken. I hate that I’m so frightened.
“That’s where the trust comes in.” He reaches out and cradles my face in his warm, strong hands, and I wish his hands would stay on me forever. His eyes bore into mine, like they reach inside me and stroke my heart. It’s like he’s fighting some internal battle the way touches me and then breaks away. He’s just as uncertain of what to do as I am. On top of everything else, I’m frustrated because I can’t figure him out.
“Why do you care?”
His hands
“Sorry? You’re not sorry. You’re the reason I’m in this mess. If you wanted to help me or save me, why didn’t you let me go at the hospital?”
“I only had minutes to get you out of your brother’s room without them knowing. I tried, but you fought me.”
“What did you expect? My brother was beaten to the edge of death and you grab me from behind. Did you think I’d go willingly?”
“We’re here now. We can’t go back and change the past,” he says, still holding me.
“No. But we can go to the police and tell them everything. We can tell them what these animals did to Sammy. I’m sure they’re investigating. Maybe they already know.”
“The police aren’t an option.”
“Why not?” I squeal as I pull away from him enough that I can look into his eyes.
“Because they’re on the payroll.”
“We’ll call the news. Everyone from the local and national television stations. They’ll blast it out and then everyone will know. Someone will help us.”
“If anyone even bothers to look into this, you’ll be made to look crazy. They’ll portray you as hysterical and say that the incident with your brother triggered PTSD from the death of your parents, and because of it, you’re convinced there is a conspiracy against you. You won’t be able to get a restraining order, or any other sort of protection, and they’ll have free access to you.”
“How do you know this?”
“They already ran through the scenarios. I tried to talk them out of it. Gave them every reason to think it was a bad idea. I thought I could make them see you weren’t worth the trouble.”
Those words shouldn’t make me flinch, but they do. They hit me like a slap across the face. Dima’s hands reach for my cheeks again. His lips are close. So fucking close. I should punch him in the nose. Push him away. Fight him. But my mind is screaming out for him to lean just a little closer. Like if he kisses me, it will make all the other shit disappear.
His eyes drop down to my lips, and I hold my breath waiting for him to kiss me. He’s hesitating, and I consider grabbing his shirt and pulling him the rest of the way to me. Before I decide, it comes to an end. It’s like there’s an invisible barrier between us that he can’t cross, no matter how hard he tries.
The air around us changes. The heat and energy that had just been kicked up about ten notches cools down. I shudder, unsure if it’s the thought that I wanted this evil man to kiss me, to fill me with a false sense of hope and phony promises, or because he didn’t and I’m afraid he has no real desire to. Disappointed, I let out the breath I held.
“That didn’t come out the way I mean it. I mean you’re not worth it to them. You’re worth it to me, or else I wouldn’t be here and you’d already be holed up in a room servicing dirty old men.”
I hug my arms around myself.
Trying to comfort me, he pulls me into his arms, but only for a moment. They’re warm and strong, and I’ve never felt safer until he curses under his breath and lets me go. I watch in silence as he steps away.
“I’m doing everything I can. We just need to give it some time.”
“How is time going to make it any better?” I sound weak and broken. I hate that I’m so frightened.
“That’s where the trust comes in.” He reaches out and cradles my face in his warm, strong hands, and I wish his hands would stay on me forever. His eyes bore into mine, like they reach inside me and stroke my heart. It’s like he’s fighting some internal battle the way touches me and then breaks away. He’s just as uncertain of what to do as I am. On top of everything else, I’m frustrated because I can’t figure him out.
“Why do you care?”
His hands
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