has no money until the end of the term and daren’t run into debt again. I must say he’s being an angel about it and we gnaw chicken bones for lunch now instead of oysters… Hamish is going to ride in a grind on Saturday, simply awful for me but I’m behaving like a mem sahib about it and pretend to be pleased…’
19th February, 1930: ‘Thank Heaven Canada is off for the moment. I really think it would have killed me… Will Hamish ever grow out of liking all these painted dolls I wonder, and will our house overflow with them always? I’ve just finished Maurois’
Byron
, very readable. Byron is so like Hamish in character, the other day Hamish said to me in tones of deepest satisfaction, “You haven’t known a single happy moment since we met have you.” Very true as a matter of fact, what he would really like would be for me to die and a few others and then he’d be able to say “I bring death on all who love me”. It’s so sad, when you’re away there’s nobody I can laugh about Hamish with and he is such a joke isn’t he?’
‘… Did I tell you I have got a job of writing weekly articles for
The Lady
at about
£
260 a year (they haven’t quite settled my wages yet). It is rather fun to do but a bit of a strain every week to think of subjects. My book has gone to the agents whose verdict I await in a state of palpitation. I’m afraid it won’t be accepted. Everyone thinks it very bad, specially Hamish.’
10th March, 1930: ‘Oh dear how unhappy Hamish does make me sometimes nobody knows except I think you do because you know us both so well. I’m so exactly the wrong person for him really that I simply can’t imagine how it all happened. It’s all most peculiar. But sometimes I really wish I were dead, which is odd for me as I have a cheerful disposition by nature. I’m sorry to grumble like this. I really do honestly think everything would be all right if we were married, it’s partly living down here that makes me so depressed and miserable.’
‘My book has been accepted by the agents which is a cheering thought. I don’t know how much that means but I suppose they don’t take something that’s absolutely unmarketable… What do you really think of
Vile Bodies
? I was frankly very much dis appointed in it I must say but some people think it quite marvellous.’
‘I met M. Boulestin the other day such a little dear and he says he’s going to start a restaurant in Oxford. So I told John [Sutro] and John was furious and I couldn’t make out why and at last he said “Oh to think there was nothing like that when I was at Oxford!” Poor sweet I so understand that point of view. He and Christopher [Sykes] are so silly together I couldn’t stop laughing. P.S. That awful grumble doesn’t mean anything except that I’m in a very bad temper so don’t take the smallest notice of it
please
.’
From 4 Rutland Gate Mews, 30th March, 1930: ‘I’m making such a lot of money with articles —
£
22 since Christmas and more owing to me so I’m saving it up to be married but Evelyn [Waugh] says don’t save it, dress better and catch a better man. Evelyn is always so full of sound common sense. The family have read
Vile Bodies
and I’m not allowed to know him, so right I think…’
From Old Mill Cottage, 31st March: ‘How can one ever tell with Hamish? I think he is really devoted to me, anyhow as much as he ever was but I don’t believe it’s in his nature to be passionately in love with anybody… Tomorrow we go to London for two months. As a list of those forbidden the house now includes all my best friends I foresee more tiring rows with the family… However I am now making
£
4.4. a week by writing articles and hope I may soon become self-supporting. I regard financial independence as almost the sum of human happiness don’t you?’
From 26 Rutland Gate, 11th April: ‘Here I am in London again feeling much more cheerful and happy about everything.
The Lady
people have now
19th February, 1930: ‘Thank Heaven Canada is off for the moment. I really think it would have killed me… Will Hamish ever grow out of liking all these painted dolls I wonder, and will our house overflow with them always? I’ve just finished Maurois’
Byron
, very readable. Byron is so like Hamish in character, the other day Hamish said to me in tones of deepest satisfaction, “You haven’t known a single happy moment since we met have you.” Very true as a matter of fact, what he would really like would be for me to die and a few others and then he’d be able to say “I bring death on all who love me”. It’s so sad, when you’re away there’s nobody I can laugh about Hamish with and he is such a joke isn’t he?’
‘… Did I tell you I have got a job of writing weekly articles for
The Lady
at about
£
260 a year (they haven’t quite settled my wages yet). It is rather fun to do but a bit of a strain every week to think of subjects. My book has gone to the agents whose verdict I await in a state of palpitation. I’m afraid it won’t be accepted. Everyone thinks it very bad, specially Hamish.’
10th March, 1930: ‘Oh dear how unhappy Hamish does make me sometimes nobody knows except I think you do because you know us both so well. I’m so exactly the wrong person for him really that I simply can’t imagine how it all happened. It’s all most peculiar. But sometimes I really wish I were dead, which is odd for me as I have a cheerful disposition by nature. I’m sorry to grumble like this. I really do honestly think everything would be all right if we were married, it’s partly living down here that makes me so depressed and miserable.’
‘My book has been accepted by the agents which is a cheering thought. I don’t know how much that means but I suppose they don’t take something that’s absolutely unmarketable… What do you really think of
Vile Bodies
? I was frankly very much dis appointed in it I must say but some people think it quite marvellous.’
‘I met M. Boulestin the other day such a little dear and he says he’s going to start a restaurant in Oxford. So I told John [Sutro] and John was furious and I couldn’t make out why and at last he said “Oh to think there was nothing like that when I was at Oxford!” Poor sweet I so understand that point of view. He and Christopher [Sykes] are so silly together I couldn’t stop laughing. P.S. That awful grumble doesn’t mean anything except that I’m in a very bad temper so don’t take the smallest notice of it
please
.’
From 4 Rutland Gate Mews, 30th March, 1930: ‘I’m making such a lot of money with articles —
£
22 since Christmas and more owing to me so I’m saving it up to be married but Evelyn [Waugh] says don’t save it, dress better and catch a better man. Evelyn is always so full of sound common sense. The family have read
Vile Bodies
and I’m not allowed to know him, so right I think…’
From Old Mill Cottage, 31st March: ‘How can one ever tell with Hamish? I think he is really devoted to me, anyhow as much as he ever was but I don’t believe it’s in his nature to be passionately in love with anybody… Tomorrow we go to London for two months. As a list of those forbidden the house now includes all my best friends I foresee more tiring rows with the family… However I am now making
£
4.4. a week by writing articles and hope I may soon become self-supporting. I regard financial independence as almost the sum of human happiness don’t you?’
From 26 Rutland Gate, 11th April: ‘Here I am in London again feeling much more cheerful and happy about everything.
The Lady
people have now
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