. . .”
“It’s the entry form for that pageant in Phoenix,” she said. “Let me read.”
I could feel Benny under the table, hear each wrapper being torn and then discarded. I hoped he wasn’t eating the crayons again. Last time he ate Lily’s crayons he threw up Burnt Umber and Sea Foam Green all over my bedspread.
“What’s a pageant?”
“The Miss Desert Flower contest?” Ma said as if I were terribly dense or something. “For Lily?”
“Oh.” I shrugged.
Daddy came into the kitchen then with an armload of tangled weeds. He wrestled them into the garbage and sighed.
“Did we get the electric bill yet?” he asked, noticing Ma and the mail.
“No,” Ma said, distracted.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“It’s the entry form for that pageant in Phoenix I told you about,” Ma said, smiling.
Daddy’s chin jutted out sharply and he sat down next to me. He put his arm around the back of my chair and peered over my shoulder at the forms.
“When is it?”
“June,” she said.
“You’re going to take her out of school for this?”
“No. It’s after school’s out.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Daddy said and ruffled my hair as he stood up.
“They offer scholarships to the winners,” Ma said loudly, shaking the letter at him. Her face was getting red. I felt Benny get still beneath my feet.
“And how much does it cost to enter this damn thing?”
Ma looked down at her hands, and said softly, “It’s only three-fifty. That’s for everything including the room.”
“Forget it,” Daddy said. “We haven’t got it.”
“Ben, if we cut back a little. I can work some overtime at the home,” Ma tried.
“I said no. ”
I could feel Ma shaking; the table was trembling ever so slightly with her anger. She put her palms flat on the table next to either side of the entry form and stood up.
“ You said no,” she said incredulously.
“Yes.”
“You said no. And that’s the final word?” Ma’s voice was starting to grow. Like weeds growing around me, holding me in my chair. The sharp blossom of her words startling. “Asshole.”
Daddy looked hard at Ma and then turned his back. Benny held on to my ankle. I could feel his fingers digging into the skin right above my tennis shoe. I reached for my math book, but Ma beat me to it. She picked up the book and waved it over her head and then hurled it at Daddy. It whizzed over his head and hit the wall where her collection of spoons from around the world was hanging. The wooden case rattled and then fell. There were spoons from Japan and Spain and Canada all over the floor.
“I’m going to work,” Daddy said softly and kissed the top of my head. My eyes stung with tears. He’d promised he’d take me later so that I could practice my bank shots.
“You leave and I won’t be here when you get home,” Ma said, following him to the door. “I’ll take the money, and I’ll take Lily, and I’ll go to Phoenix.”
Benny’s hand released my ankle and I felt my blood rushing hot out of my face, down my arms and legs. I imagined it spilling in a pool of Brick Red wax at my feet.
When Ma ran out of the house after Daddy, Benny scurried out from under the table. There were toast crumbs from breakfast still at the corners of his mouth.
“Ma’s going to take Lily away?”
“Shhh,” I said and took his hand. We scurried quickly out the back door and around to the side of the house.
Daddy got in the car and slammed the door shut. I heard the engine rev and then he was backing slowly down the driveway. Lily was standing at the edge of the yard holding her rusty baton with one hand, sucking her thumb with the other.
“I’ll leave you!” Ma said. “I’ll leave this shit hole. I’ll go back to California!”
She stood in the doorway as Daddy and the Nova became just a small orange spot moving through the trees. And then she started to slam the screen door. Over and over. Each time it crashed against the door
“It’s the entry form for that pageant in Phoenix,” she said. “Let me read.”
I could feel Benny under the table, hear each wrapper being torn and then discarded. I hoped he wasn’t eating the crayons again. Last time he ate Lily’s crayons he threw up Burnt Umber and Sea Foam Green all over my bedspread.
“What’s a pageant?”
“The Miss Desert Flower contest?” Ma said as if I were terribly dense or something. “For Lily?”
“Oh.” I shrugged.
Daddy came into the kitchen then with an armload of tangled weeds. He wrestled them into the garbage and sighed.
“Did we get the electric bill yet?” he asked, noticing Ma and the mail.
“No,” Ma said, distracted.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“It’s the entry form for that pageant in Phoenix I told you about,” Ma said, smiling.
Daddy’s chin jutted out sharply and he sat down next to me. He put his arm around the back of my chair and peered over my shoulder at the forms.
“When is it?”
“June,” she said.
“You’re going to take her out of school for this?”
“No. It’s after school’s out.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Daddy said and ruffled my hair as he stood up.
“They offer scholarships to the winners,” Ma said loudly, shaking the letter at him. Her face was getting red. I felt Benny get still beneath my feet.
“And how much does it cost to enter this damn thing?”
Ma looked down at her hands, and said softly, “It’s only three-fifty. That’s for everything including the room.”
“Forget it,” Daddy said. “We haven’t got it.”
“Ben, if we cut back a little. I can work some overtime at the home,” Ma tried.
“I said no. ”
I could feel Ma shaking; the table was trembling ever so slightly with her anger. She put her palms flat on the table next to either side of the entry form and stood up.
“ You said no,” she said incredulously.
“Yes.”
“You said no. And that’s the final word?” Ma’s voice was starting to grow. Like weeds growing around me, holding me in my chair. The sharp blossom of her words startling. “Asshole.”
Daddy looked hard at Ma and then turned his back. Benny held on to my ankle. I could feel his fingers digging into the skin right above my tennis shoe. I reached for my math book, but Ma beat me to it. She picked up the book and waved it over her head and then hurled it at Daddy. It whizzed over his head and hit the wall where her collection of spoons from around the world was hanging. The wooden case rattled and then fell. There were spoons from Japan and Spain and Canada all over the floor.
“I’m going to work,” Daddy said softly and kissed the top of my head. My eyes stung with tears. He’d promised he’d take me later so that I could practice my bank shots.
“You leave and I won’t be here when you get home,” Ma said, following him to the door. “I’ll take the money, and I’ll take Lily, and I’ll go to Phoenix.”
Benny’s hand released my ankle and I felt my blood rushing hot out of my face, down my arms and legs. I imagined it spilling in a pool of Brick Red wax at my feet.
When Ma ran out of the house after Daddy, Benny scurried out from under the table. There were toast crumbs from breakfast still at the corners of his mouth.
“Ma’s going to take Lily away?”
“Shhh,” I said and took his hand. We scurried quickly out the back door and around to the side of the house.
Daddy got in the car and slammed the door shut. I heard the engine rev and then he was backing slowly down the driveway. Lily was standing at the edge of the yard holding her rusty baton with one hand, sucking her thumb with the other.
“I’ll leave you!” Ma said. “I’ll leave this shit hole. I’ll go back to California!”
She stood in the doorway as Daddy and the Nova became just a small orange spot moving through the trees. And then she started to slam the screen door. Over and over. Each time it crashed against the door
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