When Rachel is supposed to walk, followed by Wesley and then Carly, but nothing happens, I just know this will be the worst day of my life. Instead of the girls Margret walks down the aisle, her hands shaky and a piece of paper in them.
“I’m so sorry my love,” she whispers and chills go down my back. She puts the piece of paper in my hands and closes them over it. Then she turns around and clears her throat. “The wedding isn’t going to happen today I’m afraid. Thank you all for coming.”
I think I’m in shock because nothing is penetrating. I keep expecting Paisley to run down the aisle and say this was all a mistake. I open the letter hoping something called her away but I know deep in my soul that’s not what I’ll find in this letter.
I only read one line. I don’t care about her excuses or her crazy reasoning. I told her if she did this to me again I wouldn’t ever forgive her. And I fucking meant that.
I’m sorry. I can’t marry you.
I drop the letter and I don’t know what comes over me. It’s like I’ve become anger and rage. I’m channeling it from hell or something. I start destroying things. I pick up the flower arrangements and smash them against the wall. I start kicking holes in the walls and knocking over candles. I’m ripping curtains down and shredding them with my bare hands.
I don’t stop until Royal and Pierce tackle me to the ground. I thrash against them and I try so hard to fight my way out from underneath them. “I have to get it out,” I say over and over again.
Ashley appears above them, tears leaking down her face. “We know, baby. We know.” She smoothes a hand over my face. “Just calm down sweetie, we’ll make it all better.”
Something pinches on my arm and I look down to see Lily with a needle in her hand. “What did you do to me?” I ask as everything starts to get foggy around me.
“Something to make you feel better,” she whispers. At some point Pierce and Royal have climbed off of me and now everyone stands around me. Ashley isn’t the only one crying.
“I knew she’d do this to me again. I shouldn’t have believed she’d changed,” I tell Lily. I’m starting to get confused and I don’t know where I am. “Will you tell her I need her? Can you get Paisley?”
Lily chokes back a sob and grabs my hand. “Okay sweetie, I’ll go get her.”
That’s about the time I pass out.
Rachel
“Where’s Daddy?” my little boy asks me. His green eyes look up at me and it’s all I can do not to cry. I’ve cried so much today. I know I’ll cry some more later, but I refuse to do that in front of Asher.
I put a piece of our puzzle in the right place and then I answer him. “He’s at our house with his friends. Uncle Royal is getting married tomorrow, remember? They are having a party to celebrate and it’s only for boys.”
“Can I go? I’m a boy.” He looks so hopeful and I don’t want to tell him no. I never want to tell him no. Well, unless he’s drawing on the walls or throwing rolls of toilet paper in the toilet.
I clear my throat and search through the puzzle box for the piece I’m looking for. “It’s a grown up party, little man.”
He pouts now looking so much like his father I can’t hold it in. I miss Court so much and I want him to hold me more than I ever have before. The only safe place in this world is in his arms. Funny how that works out isn’t it? The one place I want to be the most is the one place I can never be again.
I love Court so much it hurts. I think about him all the time and he’s the most wonderful father. How could I have done this to him? I keep racking my brain, like I’ve been doing for weeks. It makes little to no sense. I know I didn’t want Donovan. Hell, I’ve never found myself attracted to him. Was it some kind of mid-life crisis? Can you have one of those in your twenties?
“I wanna be with Daddy. You’re too sad for me today.” And I tried so hard to cover that up, the
“I’m so sorry my love,” she whispers and chills go down my back. She puts the piece of paper in my hands and closes them over it. Then she turns around and clears her throat. “The wedding isn’t going to happen today I’m afraid. Thank you all for coming.”
I think I’m in shock because nothing is penetrating. I keep expecting Paisley to run down the aisle and say this was all a mistake. I open the letter hoping something called her away but I know deep in my soul that’s not what I’ll find in this letter.
I only read one line. I don’t care about her excuses or her crazy reasoning. I told her if she did this to me again I wouldn’t ever forgive her. And I fucking meant that.
I’m sorry. I can’t marry you.
I drop the letter and I don’t know what comes over me. It’s like I’ve become anger and rage. I’m channeling it from hell or something. I start destroying things. I pick up the flower arrangements and smash them against the wall. I start kicking holes in the walls and knocking over candles. I’m ripping curtains down and shredding them with my bare hands.
I don’t stop until Royal and Pierce tackle me to the ground. I thrash against them and I try so hard to fight my way out from underneath them. “I have to get it out,” I say over and over again.
Ashley appears above them, tears leaking down her face. “We know, baby. We know.” She smoothes a hand over my face. “Just calm down sweetie, we’ll make it all better.”
Something pinches on my arm and I look down to see Lily with a needle in her hand. “What did you do to me?” I ask as everything starts to get foggy around me.
“Something to make you feel better,” she whispers. At some point Pierce and Royal have climbed off of me and now everyone stands around me. Ashley isn’t the only one crying.
“I knew she’d do this to me again. I shouldn’t have believed she’d changed,” I tell Lily. I’m starting to get confused and I don’t know where I am. “Will you tell her I need her? Can you get Paisley?”
Lily chokes back a sob and grabs my hand. “Okay sweetie, I’ll go get her.”
That’s about the time I pass out.
Rachel
“Where’s Daddy?” my little boy asks me. His green eyes look up at me and it’s all I can do not to cry. I’ve cried so much today. I know I’ll cry some more later, but I refuse to do that in front of Asher.
I put a piece of our puzzle in the right place and then I answer him. “He’s at our house with his friends. Uncle Royal is getting married tomorrow, remember? They are having a party to celebrate and it’s only for boys.”
“Can I go? I’m a boy.” He looks so hopeful and I don’t want to tell him no. I never want to tell him no. Well, unless he’s drawing on the walls or throwing rolls of toilet paper in the toilet.
I clear my throat and search through the puzzle box for the piece I’m looking for. “It’s a grown up party, little man.”
He pouts now looking so much like his father I can’t hold it in. I miss Court so much and I want him to hold me more than I ever have before. The only safe place in this world is in his arms. Funny how that works out isn’t it? The one place I want to be the most is the one place I can never be again.
I love Court so much it hurts. I think about him all the time and he’s the most wonderful father. How could I have done this to him? I keep racking my brain, like I’ve been doing for weeks. It makes little to no sense. I know I didn’t want Donovan. Hell, I’ve never found myself attracted to him. Was it some kind of mid-life crisis? Can you have one of those in your twenties?
“I wanna be with Daddy. You’re too sad for me today.” And I tried so hard to cover that up, the
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