why …’
‘Didn’t you just tell me I’ve got my whole life to be a wife and mother? And a psychiatrist in sensible shoes?’ Joanne asked gently.
She had clear, grey eyes and a soft smile. Her head was titled slightly and Annie felt as if the eyes were staring into her deepest thoughts, reading her mind and smiling knowingly at what she’d found there.
‘It’s our biggest challenge,’ Joanne added, ‘working out how to do the best we can for the people we love while remaining true to ourselves.’
True to ourselves .
The words rang in Annie’s mind for a moment.
‘You’re good,’ she told Joanne, ‘but you probably don’t need me to tell you that.’
‘You have to be true to yourself or it eats you up inside, eventually. Trust me here. I’ve heard it so many times from so many different people.’
For several moments there was a thoughtful silence, then Annie snatched up her bag and rummaged about for her phone.
‘Booking the flights to New York?’ Paula wondered.
‘No. Calling Ed. There’s still five more minutes of lunch break, I might be able to catch him and then … I’ll have the chance to talk to him again.’
‘To tell him you’re going to New York?’ Paula persisted, excitement in her voice.
‘Well … I won’t put it quite as baldly as that … but … YES!’
Chapter Six
Plane Lana:
Black vest top (Topshop)
Black skinny jeans (Primark)
Pink pointy pumps (New Look)
Pink and black fringed scarf (Vintage Miss Selfridge
via Oxfam )
Overwhelming scent sensation (duty-free)
Total est. cost: £50
‘Oh look! Look at that!’
‘So you’re going to be fine. You’re going to be absolutely, totally fine? Do you promise? You won’t let one single thing go wrong?’ Annie asked, aware that her heart was racing at panic-speed.
‘Yes,’ Ed said simply, solidly, utterly reassuringly. He placed his hands on her shoulders as if to weigh her down and bring calm to her frantic mind.
‘So you’re going to go and see Mum this weekend, to give Dinah a break. And you’ll take the babies, but Owen will obviously be at the stall. But you’ll be back in time to give him dinner and—’
‘Shhhh,’ Ed soothed.
‘Mum said something about Stefano going away for a fortnight,’ Annie remembered suddenly. ‘I don’t know if that’s soon, or if maybe she’s just got confused. You need to speak to him and find out. Because if he’s going away, Mum can’t be on her own, she’ll have to come and stay with us, so we’ll need to know when that is. And I hope I’ll be back by then otherwise you’ll have too much to—’
‘Annie! Stop it! I’ll speak to Stefano on Saturday. I’ll get the dates of his holiday and the recipe for his chorizo casserole. OK? You were the one who wanted to go on this trip,’ Ed reminded her, his hands sliding to the tops of her arms, which he squeezed affectionately.
‘Yes, yes …’ she said distractedly because now that the boarding card was actually in her hand, now that her entire family was assembled around her at passport control ready to say goodbye, now she just wasn’t quite sure if she really could manage to go.
Ed put his hand under her chin and turned her face towards his.
Oh no. Oh no, it really was going to be time to say goodbye.
‘Look, you’ve convinced me that this is a good idea. That it is really important for you,’ he reminded her, ‘so now you have to go. Stop worrying about us. We’re going to be fine. And you’re going to be great!’ he encouraged her.
‘Is it too late to change my mind then?’ Annie whispered, her eyes fixed on his.
‘Your luggage is checked in! That would cause all kinds of complications. Plus,’ he leaned over to whisper against her ear, ‘Lana would kill you.’
This was probably true.
Annie hugged him very, very tightly, then pushed her lips against his in a deep kiss. Suddenly a gap of four weeks and the entire Atlantic Ocean seemed very real and very frightening.
‘Do we have
‘Didn’t you just tell me I’ve got my whole life to be a wife and mother? And a psychiatrist in sensible shoes?’ Joanne asked gently.
She had clear, grey eyes and a soft smile. Her head was titled slightly and Annie felt as if the eyes were staring into her deepest thoughts, reading her mind and smiling knowingly at what she’d found there.
‘It’s our biggest challenge,’ Joanne added, ‘working out how to do the best we can for the people we love while remaining true to ourselves.’
True to ourselves .
The words rang in Annie’s mind for a moment.
‘You’re good,’ she told Joanne, ‘but you probably don’t need me to tell you that.’
‘You have to be true to yourself or it eats you up inside, eventually. Trust me here. I’ve heard it so many times from so many different people.’
For several moments there was a thoughtful silence, then Annie snatched up her bag and rummaged about for her phone.
‘Booking the flights to New York?’ Paula wondered.
‘No. Calling Ed. There’s still five more minutes of lunch break, I might be able to catch him and then … I’ll have the chance to talk to him again.’
‘To tell him you’re going to New York?’ Paula persisted, excitement in her voice.
‘Well … I won’t put it quite as baldly as that … but … YES!’
Chapter Six
Plane Lana:
Black vest top (Topshop)
Black skinny jeans (Primark)
Pink pointy pumps (New Look)
Pink and black fringed scarf (Vintage Miss Selfridge
via Oxfam )
Overwhelming scent sensation (duty-free)
Total est. cost: £50
‘Oh look! Look at that!’
‘So you’re going to be fine. You’re going to be absolutely, totally fine? Do you promise? You won’t let one single thing go wrong?’ Annie asked, aware that her heart was racing at panic-speed.
‘Yes,’ Ed said simply, solidly, utterly reassuringly. He placed his hands on her shoulders as if to weigh her down and bring calm to her frantic mind.
‘So you’re going to go and see Mum this weekend, to give Dinah a break. And you’ll take the babies, but Owen will obviously be at the stall. But you’ll be back in time to give him dinner and—’
‘Shhhh,’ Ed soothed.
‘Mum said something about Stefano going away for a fortnight,’ Annie remembered suddenly. ‘I don’t know if that’s soon, or if maybe she’s just got confused. You need to speak to him and find out. Because if he’s going away, Mum can’t be on her own, she’ll have to come and stay with us, so we’ll need to know when that is. And I hope I’ll be back by then otherwise you’ll have too much to—’
‘Annie! Stop it! I’ll speak to Stefano on Saturday. I’ll get the dates of his holiday and the recipe for his chorizo casserole. OK? You were the one who wanted to go on this trip,’ Ed reminded her, his hands sliding to the tops of her arms, which he squeezed affectionately.
‘Yes, yes …’ she said distractedly because now that the boarding card was actually in her hand, now that her entire family was assembled around her at passport control ready to say goodbye, now she just wasn’t quite sure if she really could manage to go.
Ed put his hand under her chin and turned her face towards his.
Oh no. Oh no, it really was going to be time to say goodbye.
‘Look, you’ve convinced me that this is a good idea. That it is really important for you,’ he reminded her, ‘so now you have to go. Stop worrying about us. We’re going to be fine. And you’re going to be great!’ he encouraged her.
‘Is it too late to change my mind then?’ Annie whispered, her eyes fixed on his.
‘Your luggage is checked in! That would cause all kinds of complications. Plus,’ he leaned over to whisper against her ear, ‘Lana would kill you.’
This was probably true.
Annie hugged him very, very tightly, then pushed her lips against his in a deep kiss. Suddenly a gap of four weeks and the entire Atlantic Ocean seemed very real and very frightening.
‘Do we have
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