"Only God can really know what's in someone's heart."
"Yes, he is," the landlady said. "But you're right. You pay your rent, you're entitled to your privacy."
It was exactly what Nurse Addison had told her.
She suddenly felt proud of herself that she hadn't gone against her own rules just to please someone, that she had stuck up for herself. But at the same time, she didn't want to lose favor with her landlady. She'd call Nurse Addison and ask her what she thought about it. She'd seen a pay phone next to a dry cleaning shop, not far from the restaurant where she would be going to work.
Would she be annoyed if I called her at the hospital? She didn't say it was okay to call but that was only because she believed I was ready to live life on my own and make my own decisions. Wasn't it?
She glanced at the landlady and saw the stiffness still there in her face as they walked along the sidewalk, Mrs. Bannister limping heavily beside her. She had promised her the TV, and they were shopping together like friends. But Caroline felt alone.
You were always alone. It's not so different now. Dr. Rosen and Nurse Addison have their own lives, their own families. You were just their patient. Nothing more. They were nice, but you couldn't take advantage of people just because they were kind to you.
Anyway, Nurse Addison might not even be there now. The hospital was closing down and soon no one would be there, no one to answer the phones. And finally not even any phones, no furniture, just an abandoned building, filled with echoes of lost souls.
What will happen to Martha?
The landlady turned and smiled at her, but it was a stingy smile. She's different now.
"Let's go in here, Caroline, I need some stockings."
The name Natalie's Boutique was etched in lavender on a sign hanging above the door. A little bell rang as they stepped inside.
A pretty woman with hair like cotton candy was draping lovely silk print scarves on hooks on what looked like a hall tree, by the counter. She smiled brightly at them, a smile that lifted Caroline's spirits. The shop was warm and cheery, and smelled nice.
Ten
The vision of the woman imprinted on his mind, he was trembling when he returned to home. Her gentle lovely face, dark hair, and blue eyes. It was her. She was the one. He knew it as soon as he saw her. Not like the others at all. They were mistakes.
Buddy, which was his secret name given him by his spirit father, crossed the linoleum floor and stood before the full-length closet mirror, studying his reflection in the glass, searching his eyes for some flicker of recognition.
Gradually, the room faded from view, and he was back in his old room, the room of his boyhood. As the years swept backward through the corridor of time, he now saw only a young boy in the glass, the boy he had been. A timid, needy boy, anxious, never knowing what would happen next, a ready flinch on his face. He was blond, small for his age.
Always eager to please his mother, and now and then he had succeeded. But she couldn't be trusted or counted on. Sometimes she'd be nice to him and he would dare to hope. But then she would disappear into a bottle of Vodka or a new lover and he would be nothing again. Only an irritant, someone in her way. She had a quick hand and he felt the sting of it often. He would try to stay out of range, and sometimes he managed it. But not always.
It wasn't just me she punished. Millie, too. Millie was only three years old. He could still hear her panicked screams coming from the bathroom, hear his mother's voice… "damn you, your little bitch, I told you if you wet the bed again… didn't I tell you? Didn't I…DIDN'T I…?"
"…No, please, mommy, no…" Millie want get out of tub…" more screams, struggle, the water splashing, awful sounds as some body part struck against the tub…her head, a small foot…
Buddy clapped his
"Yes, he is," the landlady said. "But you're right. You pay your rent, you're entitled to your privacy."
It was exactly what Nurse Addison had told her.
She suddenly felt proud of herself that she hadn't gone against her own rules just to please someone, that she had stuck up for herself. But at the same time, she didn't want to lose favor with her landlady. She'd call Nurse Addison and ask her what she thought about it. She'd seen a pay phone next to a dry cleaning shop, not far from the restaurant where she would be going to work.
Would she be annoyed if I called her at the hospital? She didn't say it was okay to call but that was only because she believed I was ready to live life on my own and make my own decisions. Wasn't it?
She glanced at the landlady and saw the stiffness still there in her face as they walked along the sidewalk, Mrs. Bannister limping heavily beside her. She had promised her the TV, and they were shopping together like friends. But Caroline felt alone.
You were always alone. It's not so different now. Dr. Rosen and Nurse Addison have their own lives, their own families. You were just their patient. Nothing more. They were nice, but you couldn't take advantage of people just because they were kind to you.
Anyway, Nurse Addison might not even be there now. The hospital was closing down and soon no one would be there, no one to answer the phones. And finally not even any phones, no furniture, just an abandoned building, filled with echoes of lost souls.
What will happen to Martha?
The landlady turned and smiled at her, but it was a stingy smile. She's different now.
"Let's go in here, Caroline, I need some stockings."
The name Natalie's Boutique was etched in lavender on a sign hanging above the door. A little bell rang as they stepped inside.
A pretty woman with hair like cotton candy was draping lovely silk print scarves on hooks on what looked like a hall tree, by the counter. She smiled brightly at them, a smile that lifted Caroline's spirits. The shop was warm and cheery, and smelled nice.
Ten
The vision of the woman imprinted on his mind, he was trembling when he returned to home. Her gentle lovely face, dark hair, and blue eyes. It was her. She was the one. He knew it as soon as he saw her. Not like the others at all. They were mistakes.
Buddy, which was his secret name given him by his spirit father, crossed the linoleum floor and stood before the full-length closet mirror, studying his reflection in the glass, searching his eyes for some flicker of recognition.
Gradually, the room faded from view, and he was back in his old room, the room of his boyhood. As the years swept backward through the corridor of time, he now saw only a young boy in the glass, the boy he had been. A timid, needy boy, anxious, never knowing what would happen next, a ready flinch on his face. He was blond, small for his age.
Always eager to please his mother, and now and then he had succeeded. But she couldn't be trusted or counted on. Sometimes she'd be nice to him and he would dare to hope. But then she would disappear into a bottle of Vodka or a new lover and he would be nothing again. Only an irritant, someone in her way. She had a quick hand and he felt the sting of it often. He would try to stay out of range, and sometimes he managed it. But not always.
It wasn't just me she punished. Millie, too. Millie was only three years old. He could still hear her panicked screams coming from the bathroom, hear his mother's voice… "damn you, your little bitch, I told you if you wet the bed again… didn't I tell you? Didn't I…DIDN'T I…?"
"…No, please, mommy, no…" Millie want get out of tub…" more screams, struggle, the water splashing, awful sounds as some body part struck against the tub…her head, a small foot…
Buddy clapped his
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