saying. “Freeze like a rabbit or the creature you desire your attacker to mistake you for. If your attacker shouts out to you, respond politely—maybe your optimism will change his mind. If you’re about to get in an elevator with a man you feel uncomfortable spending time with in a small, escapeless room, head right in. Remember, fear is an irrational emotion you should probably ignore.”
Armed with these tips, I hung a right into the nearest dead-end, curled up into a ball and started rolling.
“Where are you luring me?” the old man taunted. “Please stand up and take your game tontroller—I can’t bend down that far.”
Just then I heard a familiar whirring. I looked up. Edwart’s body was plummeting from the roof of the nearest building. I stood up to try to save him, but he deftly aimed his body at the man, bringing him to the ground. The old man moaned and then settled himself for a little nap on theground, using the crux of his arm as a pillow. Old people like being given an excuse to sleep.
“Please come with me to my car, Belle,” he offered gently, limping towards me. “I mean, only if you want to.”
“Uh-uh. Not with
that
attitude.”
“Pretty please?”
I shook my head disappointedly. “What’s the magic verb form?”
“Belle,”
he groaned. “We don’t have time for this. Plus I
hate
when you make me do this.”
“Imperative
, Edwart. The magic verb form is
imperative
. You don’t have to hide your natural inclination to boss me around. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Edwart. To the point of domination.”
“Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath and pointed at me. “You,” he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. “Come to the place where you want to go, which, hopefully, is my car, where I will be, God willing.”
“All right.”
He relaxed. “You’re not angry at me for being domineering? That wasn’t a trick?”
“No, Edwart,” I said, leading him to his car. “Get in.”
He hopped in as I started the engine for him, looking at me softly
—murderously
softly.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah—why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Are you serious, Belle? Were you not aware of whatthat sick old man was trying to do?” He shook his head, seething. “You’re lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man … he was trying to sell you a Sega product.”
“What were you doing waiting for me on a roof all day?” I asked, watching his knuckles whiten at his own reference to Sega. “How could you possibly predict that he would lure me there
on top of
telepathically knowing his intentions?” I had him there—vampires only get one super talent.
“I was watching the sky on that roof,” he said quietly. “Examining Mercury through my telescope. The things I saw and heard, Belle … it’s so difficult for me to explain.”
“Try, Edwart. The only way this will work is if we’re honest with one another. Honest about Mercury.”
“It was spinning. A lot planets are out there, Belle. Spinning and spinning.”
We were quiet for a moment.
“Promise me you’ll never walk out in these streets alone again, Belle.” His face contorted in fitful rage. Suddenly, he rolled down his window and shouted, “She plays Nintendo!” He inhaled deeply. “Play Nintendo,” he breathed out. “I won’t always be here to keep you safe from Sega.”
I tried not to breathe too loud so I wouldn’t disrupt his protective ire. It was beautiful.
“Are you hungry?” he finally asked. “I know … I know we’re just friends but … we could both be friends eating dinner together, if that appeals to you. Or we could eat at separate tables and still be friends. Or eat at separate tables but be going out. I mean…” He glanced at me. “Youprobably already know this because you’re a really smart girl.”
“Are you offering to take me to dinner?”
He nodded slowly.
Suddenly, my eyes started blazing and firing up.
Armed with these tips, I hung a right into the nearest dead-end, curled up into a ball and started rolling.
“Where are you luring me?” the old man taunted. “Please stand up and take your game tontroller—I can’t bend down that far.”
Just then I heard a familiar whirring. I looked up. Edwart’s body was plummeting from the roof of the nearest building. I stood up to try to save him, but he deftly aimed his body at the man, bringing him to the ground. The old man moaned and then settled himself for a little nap on theground, using the crux of his arm as a pillow. Old people like being given an excuse to sleep.
“Please come with me to my car, Belle,” he offered gently, limping towards me. “I mean, only if you want to.”
“Uh-uh. Not with
that
attitude.”
“Pretty please?”
I shook my head disappointedly. “What’s the magic verb form?”
“Belle,”
he groaned. “We don’t have time for this. Plus I
hate
when you make me do this.”
“Imperative
, Edwart. The magic verb form is
imperative
. You don’t have to hide your natural inclination to boss me around. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Edwart. To the point of domination.”
“Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath and pointed at me. “You,” he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. “Come to the place where you want to go, which, hopefully, is my car, where I will be, God willing.”
“All right.”
He relaxed. “You’re not angry at me for being domineering? That wasn’t a trick?”
“No, Edwart,” I said, leading him to his car. “Get in.”
He hopped in as I started the engine for him, looking at me softly
—murderously
softly.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah—why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Are you serious, Belle? Were you not aware of whatthat sick old man was trying to do?” He shook his head, seething. “You’re lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man … he was trying to sell you a Sega product.”
“What were you doing waiting for me on a roof all day?” I asked, watching his knuckles whiten at his own reference to Sega. “How could you possibly predict that he would lure me there
on top of
telepathically knowing his intentions?” I had him there—vampires only get one super talent.
“I was watching the sky on that roof,” he said quietly. “Examining Mercury through my telescope. The things I saw and heard, Belle … it’s so difficult for me to explain.”
“Try, Edwart. The only way this will work is if we’re honest with one another. Honest about Mercury.”
“It was spinning. A lot planets are out there, Belle. Spinning and spinning.”
We were quiet for a moment.
“Promise me you’ll never walk out in these streets alone again, Belle.” His face contorted in fitful rage. Suddenly, he rolled down his window and shouted, “She plays Nintendo!” He inhaled deeply. “Play Nintendo,” he breathed out. “I won’t always be here to keep you safe from Sega.”
I tried not to breathe too loud so I wouldn’t disrupt his protective ire. It was beautiful.
“Are you hungry?” he finally asked. “I know … I know we’re just friends but … we could both be friends eating dinner together, if that appeals to you. Or we could eat at separate tables and still be friends. Or eat at separate tables but be going out. I mean…” He glanced at me. “Youprobably already know this because you’re a really smart girl.”
“Are you offering to take me to dinner?”
He nodded slowly.
Suddenly, my eyes started blazing and firing up.
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