dictates,” I explained in my most reasonable voice.
“That’s what Bob said, is it?”
I nodded like a five-year-old on the time-out chair.
“Hem, that’s what they always say. You’d worked there, what, fifteen years? Any lawyer worth her salt could probably have gotten you more. You should have stood up for yourself more. But it’s too late now. Next time, come to me. I can help on these things.”
“I didn’t really like my job. They did me a favour.”
She plopped back into her chair with a heavy sigh that conveyed “You’ve disappointed me” more effectively than the actual words ever could have.
“Sarah, you know I’m not good at confrontation. You’ve cornered the family market on that. I get all queasy.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, my stomach churns and I feel like I’m …”
“Not that part! What do you mean I’ve cornered the family market on confrontation?” she said in her best confrontational voice.
“I don’t know. You’re just so good at yelling at people. Shit, you’ve been hollering at me for a decade. You make me nervous. You intimidate me. I’m not even sure you like me.”
“Of course I like you. You’re my big brother,” she yelled. “I love you the way younger sisters love their older brothers. You just infuriate the crap out of me sometimes, the way older brothers do.”
“What have I ever done to infuriate you? Surely not reading my separation agreement and missing out on getting thirteen months’ salary rather than twelve isn’t infuriating. You can’t care that much about it. I certainly don’t care that much about it.”
Sarah closed her eyes, then pressed and rubbed her face with both hands. She did this for about thirty seconds. That’s a long time when it passes in silence. I could hear her breathing.
“You don’t get it yet, do you?” she started, this time in a soft voice that made it all the more compelling. I said nothing. “Look, Hem, I truly believe I was born to business. I got all of Dad’sbusiness smarts and you got all of Mom’s caring, nurturing, artistic genes. All I’ve ever wanted is to make our company as competitive, profitable, and prosperous as it can possibly be. It’s all I want to do. I just want to impress Dad and work my way up to the top. There is so much more the company could be doing to cement our leadership in the market. But we’re just sitting back and waiting for shit to happen. In this climate, we need to be bold, and instead, we’re hanging on to those archaic founding principles. They’re holding us back and may lead us into a decline that could actually take us down if we’re not careful.”
“So tell Dad. You have to get up in his grill and make your case. You should be great at that.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried that? I’ve tried to speak to him. When that didn’t work, I wrote a strategic plan that I don’t think he even read. He’s not going to listen to me. He never has. He’s not going to start now.”
“Sarah, I know he’s tough to reach, but he’ll listen if you get him in the right setting, at the right moment, with the right message.”
“No, Hem. You don’t understand. He won’t take it from me. He won’t,” she replied, looking sad and defeated.
“But why won’t he?” I asked. She raised her eyes to me. Sad and defeated gave way to something else more akin to fury.
“Christ, Hem, are you that blind? I can’t get through to Dad because I don’t have a fucking penis and I’m not the fucking first-born son!”
Don’t ask a question if you really don’t want to hear the answer. We sat there and looked at each other for a time. Andthen, as if to match her eloquent and powerful declaration, and then raise it, I dug deep into my intellectual and oratorical reserves and countered with carefully chosen words, delivered with passion and gravitas in the awkward air between us.
“Well, that’s certainly a charming and elegant synopsis of the
“That’s what Bob said, is it?”
I nodded like a five-year-old on the time-out chair.
“Hem, that’s what they always say. You’d worked there, what, fifteen years? Any lawyer worth her salt could probably have gotten you more. You should have stood up for yourself more. But it’s too late now. Next time, come to me. I can help on these things.”
“I didn’t really like my job. They did me a favour.”
She plopped back into her chair with a heavy sigh that conveyed “You’ve disappointed me” more effectively than the actual words ever could have.
“Sarah, you know I’m not good at confrontation. You’ve cornered the family market on that. I get all queasy.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, my stomach churns and I feel like I’m …”
“Not that part! What do you mean I’ve cornered the family market on confrontation?” she said in her best confrontational voice.
“I don’t know. You’re just so good at yelling at people. Shit, you’ve been hollering at me for a decade. You make me nervous. You intimidate me. I’m not even sure you like me.”
“Of course I like you. You’re my big brother,” she yelled. “I love you the way younger sisters love their older brothers. You just infuriate the crap out of me sometimes, the way older brothers do.”
“What have I ever done to infuriate you? Surely not reading my separation agreement and missing out on getting thirteen months’ salary rather than twelve isn’t infuriating. You can’t care that much about it. I certainly don’t care that much about it.”
Sarah closed her eyes, then pressed and rubbed her face with both hands. She did this for about thirty seconds. That’s a long time when it passes in silence. I could hear her breathing.
“You don’t get it yet, do you?” she started, this time in a soft voice that made it all the more compelling. I said nothing. “Look, Hem, I truly believe I was born to business. I got all of Dad’sbusiness smarts and you got all of Mom’s caring, nurturing, artistic genes. All I’ve ever wanted is to make our company as competitive, profitable, and prosperous as it can possibly be. It’s all I want to do. I just want to impress Dad and work my way up to the top. There is so much more the company could be doing to cement our leadership in the market. But we’re just sitting back and waiting for shit to happen. In this climate, we need to be bold, and instead, we’re hanging on to those archaic founding principles. They’re holding us back and may lead us into a decline that could actually take us down if we’re not careful.”
“So tell Dad. You have to get up in his grill and make your case. You should be great at that.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried that? I’ve tried to speak to him. When that didn’t work, I wrote a strategic plan that I don’t think he even read. He’s not going to listen to me. He never has. He’s not going to start now.”
“Sarah, I know he’s tough to reach, but he’ll listen if you get him in the right setting, at the right moment, with the right message.”
“No, Hem. You don’t understand. He won’t take it from me. He won’t,” she replied, looking sad and defeated.
“But why won’t he?” I asked. She raised her eyes to me. Sad and defeated gave way to something else more akin to fury.
“Christ, Hem, are you that blind? I can’t get through to Dad because I don’t have a fucking penis and I’m not the fucking first-born son!”
Don’t ask a question if you really don’t want to hear the answer. We sat there and looked at each other for a time. Andthen, as if to match her eloquent and powerful declaration, and then raise it, I dug deep into my intellectual and oratorical reserves and countered with carefully chosen words, delivered with passion and gravitas in the awkward air between us.
“Well, that’s certainly a charming and elegant synopsis of the
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