No Time For Love (Bantam Series No. 40) by Barbara Cartland Page A
Authors: Barbara Cartland
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had received from him from America.
He told her how pleased his mother had been to see him and also that he had in fact stood the journey far better than he expected.
“I think the sea air did me good,” he wrote. “It made me think of you and a grey day reminded me of your eyes.”
His letters were not long and Larina knew that even if he had wished to write more it would have been too much of an effort.
And yet he had said he felt better. That in itself was encouraging and she was sure that Elvin was alive, otherwise she would have been aware of it.
Because she had felt so terribly lonely when she first returned to London she had tried to remember all he had told her.
“How can you ever be alone,” he had said, “when there is life all around you?”
Remembering his words and telling herself how much they must mean to her now that she had no one to turn to in her loneliness, she walked through the streets into Hyde Park.
It was a relief to get away from the little house which was so silent and oppressive, and there was a sharpness in the wind which made her think of the clear, crisp air of Switzerland.
She walked across the green grass until she reached the Serpentine and although it had been a dull day until then, a pale sun came out and she sat down on a bench near the water.
She looked around and realised that the daffodils were in bloom and the red tulips stood in the flower-beds like Guardsmen.
She had been so intent on her worries which encompassed her like a fog, that walking through the Park she had seen nothing and been aware of nothing except her fear of the future and the difficulties of getting a job.
She pretended that Elvin was there beside her, telling her that there was life everywhere and that she was a part of it.
“Oh, Elvin, Elvin!” she whispered. “Help me! Help me!”
She felt as if she shouted the words aloud. But there was no reply, only the rustle of the wind blowing the dead leaves which still lay beneath the trees and the movement of the branches overhead which were just beginning to show the first green buds of spring.
The wind rippled the water of the Serpentine and the daffodils bent their heads as the breeze touched them.
“I am a part of it, and it is a part of me,” Larina told herself, but she felt they were only words and she could not really understand them.
Then suddenly there was a light on the water that was almost blinding, the daffodils were as golden as the sun itself and she could almost see the grass growing beneath her feet.
It was intense, magic, divine, a glory which lighted the sky and her soul.
She was one with it and it was part of her!
Then as she longed to cling to the vividness and the beauty of it, to hold it close, to be sure it was really happening, it was gone!
It was so momentary, such a transitory experience, that when it was past she thought it must have been an illusion. Yet at the same time she knew it had happened!
“Now I understand what Elvin was saying,” she told herself.
She tried to recapture the radiance, but while the sun was still on the water, it had not the light that she had seen for that one incredible moment.
“Perhaps it will grow easier with practice,” Larina hoped.
The moment of magic glowed like a jewel in her mind as she walked homewards.
It had uplifted and elated her, but it was not exactly comforting. It just made her long more desperately for Elvin to tell her more, to be with her.
She did not forget it as the days passed; she kept trying to make it happen again; but the ecstasy and the wonder eluded her.
Now she could think of nothing but the moment when her heart beating in her breast would stop; when the breath moving in and out of her lungs would cease.
She could only call out to Elvin, as he had told her to do, in her mind and pray that he would answer her cable.
Only Elvin could keep her from being terrified as she knew she would be when the twenty-first day arrived.
If Elvin could not
He told her how pleased his mother had been to see him and also that he had in fact stood the journey far better than he expected.
“I think the sea air did me good,” he wrote. “It made me think of you and a grey day reminded me of your eyes.”
His letters were not long and Larina knew that even if he had wished to write more it would have been too much of an effort.
And yet he had said he felt better. That in itself was encouraging and she was sure that Elvin was alive, otherwise she would have been aware of it.
Because she had felt so terribly lonely when she first returned to London she had tried to remember all he had told her.
“How can you ever be alone,” he had said, “when there is life all around you?”
Remembering his words and telling herself how much they must mean to her now that she had no one to turn to in her loneliness, she walked through the streets into Hyde Park.
It was a relief to get away from the little house which was so silent and oppressive, and there was a sharpness in the wind which made her think of the clear, crisp air of Switzerland.
She walked across the green grass until she reached the Serpentine and although it had been a dull day until then, a pale sun came out and she sat down on a bench near the water.
She looked around and realised that the daffodils were in bloom and the red tulips stood in the flower-beds like Guardsmen.
She had been so intent on her worries which encompassed her like a fog, that walking through the Park she had seen nothing and been aware of nothing except her fear of the future and the difficulties of getting a job.
She pretended that Elvin was there beside her, telling her that there was life everywhere and that she was a part of it.
“Oh, Elvin, Elvin!” she whispered. “Help me! Help me!”
She felt as if she shouted the words aloud. But there was no reply, only the rustle of the wind blowing the dead leaves which still lay beneath the trees and the movement of the branches overhead which were just beginning to show the first green buds of spring.
The wind rippled the water of the Serpentine and the daffodils bent their heads as the breeze touched them.
“I am a part of it, and it is a part of me,” Larina told herself, but she felt they were only words and she could not really understand them.
Then suddenly there was a light on the water that was almost blinding, the daffodils were as golden as the sun itself and she could almost see the grass growing beneath her feet.
It was intense, magic, divine, a glory which lighted the sky and her soul.
She was one with it and it was part of her!
Then as she longed to cling to the vividness and the beauty of it, to hold it close, to be sure it was really happening, it was gone!
It was so momentary, such a transitory experience, that when it was past she thought it must have been an illusion. Yet at the same time she knew it had happened!
“Now I understand what Elvin was saying,” she told herself.
She tried to recapture the radiance, but while the sun was still on the water, it had not the light that she had seen for that one incredible moment.
“Perhaps it will grow easier with practice,” Larina hoped.
The moment of magic glowed like a jewel in her mind as she walked homewards.
It had uplifted and elated her, but it was not exactly comforting. It just made her long more desperately for Elvin to tell her more, to be with her.
She did not forget it as the days passed; she kept trying to make it happen again; but the ecstasy and the wonder eluded her.
Now she could think of nothing but the moment when her heart beating in her breast would stop; when the breath moving in and out of her lungs would cease.
She could only call out to Elvin, as he had told her to do, in her mind and pray that he would answer her cable.
Only Elvin could keep her from being terrified as she knew she would be when the twenty-first day arrived.
If Elvin could not
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