Nobody Bats a Thousand

Nobody Bats a Thousand by Steve Schmale Page A

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Authors: Steve Schmale
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pictures, and sorted through them until she came up with a picture of the living room of her recently vacated apartment. “ Here . There it is on the mantel.”
    N adine briefly studied the photo, “Haven’t seen it.”
    “Damn it, Nadine! Don’t be so flip . This is important to me.”
    “Knock, knock. ” Maggie’s ample figure was positioned in the open doorway. “I thought you ladies might want to join me for lunch, I’ve got a pot of stew  ”
    “I’m too upset to eat. ” Mary Jean stomped across the room and flopped down in her large stuffed chair.
    “About what , dearie ?”
    “She’s missing her pyramid.”
    “Well, menopause isn’t the end of the world, in fact  ”
    “No, no, not period, her pyramid.”
    “Well, it’s not gone yet, dearie , and they won’t take it from us if we all  ”
    “Not that pyramid, I’m talking about a clock shaped like a pyramid, a family heirloom. Here. ” Mary Jean handed the photo to Maggie. “See that thing on the mantel?”
    Maggie held on a stem of her glasses as she positioned the picture nearer then farther away from her face until she could finally bring it into focus. “That thing is a clock?”
    “Right.”
    “Geez, that thing is ugly. What’s it made of some sort of plastic paneling?”
    “ Nooo . ” MJ snatched back the photo. “But what it looks like isn’t the point. It was given to me by my...my great aunt for my seventeenth birthday. It holds great sentimental value.”
    “I see.” Maggie slowly shook her head. “So where did we lose it?”
    “Somehow it got misplaced between my apartment and here.”
    “Well, that’s where we start then. Lunch can wait. Come on, dearie , I’ll drive.”
    “Mary Jean grabbed her change purse and tucked the photograph inside. “You coming?” she said to Nadine still on the couch.
    “You don’t need me to come do you?” Nadine seemed pained and worried. “ Cuz All My Children is on in ten minutes, and I can’t really afford to miss it after what they left hanging last week.”
    Mary Jean shook her head but did not say a word. She walked down the stairs and found Maggie in the driveway already behind the wheel of a big, beat-up, 1960-something, GMC truck with its engine rumbling. MJ used both hands to pull open the heavy door before pulling herself up to a spot on the stiff bench seat.
    “Man, this thing is built like a tank.”
    “People do te nd to get out of my way. ” Maggie smiled at Mary Jean. “I like that.”
    With Mary Jean providing directions, they were at her former apartment banging on the door within a few minutes. Eddie answered the door, but didn’t invite them inside. Mary Jean rattled off an explanation which only seemed to annoy Eddie.
    “Look, I’m sorry, but I have to go to work, and I don’t have time for this. All I can tell you is that some of your stuff was sitting out in the alley for a day, maybe two. Anybody could have come by and taken your t hing if it was out there, sorry.” H e closed the door and locked the deadbolt for good measure.
    “There’s something I don’t like about that boy,” Maggie said as she started her truck.
    “The fact that he’s gay?”
    “Oh, dearie , there couldn’t be anything further from the truth.” She pulled down hard on the steering wheel to guide her ponderous vehicle away from the curb. “Between here, Berkeley, and the City I’ve got enough gay friends to probably qualify me for the Fag Hag Hall of Fame. No, gay or straight, that boy is a little shit.”
    With her chances of a happy ending melting away faster than an ice sculpture at a June wedding in Puerto Rico, the question of Eddie’s character failed to post even the faintest blip on Mary Jean’s mental radar screen. Feeling as depressed and gloomy as the co ld gray sky above her , she slumped against the door of Maggie’s truck.
    “You know, very few people walk the alleys around here without a purpose, and most of the street people stake out and

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