time in your lifewhen you have to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong, and stop accepting what olderpeople say. Dad may be right as far as he knows, but he doesn’t know the whole story, and I do. And I’ve got to do what I think is right.
He wondered why he felt so sad about it. It hurt, suddenly, to realize that he’d made a decision he couldnever go back on. He might be punished like a child, when he got back; but suddenly he understood thathe’d never feel like one again. It wasn’t just the act of disobeying his father—any kid could do that. Itwas that he had decided, once and for all, that he no longer was willing to let his father decide right andwrong for him. If he obeyed his father, after this, it would be because he had thought it over and decided,on a grown-up basis, that he wanted to obey him.
And it hurt. He felt a funny pain about it, but it never occurred to him to change his mind. He’d decidedwhat he was going to do. Now he had to decide how he was going to do it.
His father had mentioned that if he, Larry, got into trouble, it might drag the whole Terran Zone into it. That was something to consider. That was fair enough. Larry wanted to be sure there was no danger ofthat.
Page 27
Then he thought: I could be taken for a Darkovan, except for my clothes. I have been mistaken fora Darkovan by my accent. If I’m not dressed as a Terran, then I won’t get into any trouble .
And , he added to himself rather grimly, if anything does happen to me, the Terrans won’t bedragged into it. It will be my own responsibility .
Quickly, he got out of his own clothes and put on the Darkovan ones Kennard had lent him. He glancedbriefly at himself in the mirror. Part of himself recognized, a little ironic awareness, that he was enjoyingthe masquerade. It was exciting, an adventure. The other half of his awareness was a little grim. Bydeliberately taking off everything that could identify himself as Terran, he was deliberately giving up hisright to the protection of the Empire. Now he was on his own. He’d walk down into the city with nomore protection than his two hands and his knowledge of the language could give him.
As if I were really Darkovan born, and entirely on my own !
He had halfway anticipated being stopped at the gate, but he passed through the archway withoutchallenge, and went out into the city.
It was the hour when workmen were returning home, and the streets were crowded. He walked throughthem without attracting a glance, a strange breathless excitement growing under his ribs, and bursting inhim. With every step, he seemed somehow to leave the person he had been, further behind. It was as ifhis present dress was not a masquerade, but rather as if he had simply discovered a deeper layer ofhimself, and was living with it. The pale cold sun hung high in the sky, casting purple shadows across thenarrow streets and alleys; he found his way through the outlying reaches of the city with the instinct of acat. He was almost sorry when he finally reached the distant quarter where the house of the Altons lay.
The nonhuman he had seen before opened the door for him, but Kennard was standing in the hallway,and Larry wondered briefly if the Darkovan boy had been waiting for him.
“You did make it,” Kennard said, with a grin of satisfaction. “Somehow I’d had the feeling you wouldn’t
be able to, but when I looked this afternoon, I realized you would.”
The words were confusing; Larry tried to make sense of them, finally decided that they must be some Darkovan idiom he didn’t understand too well. He said, “I thought, for a while, that I couldn’t come,” buthe left it at that.
The nonhuman moved toward him, and Larry flinched and drew away involuntarily, remembering hisencounter with one in the streets. Kennard said quickly, “Don’t be afraid of the kyrri . It’s true that ifstrangers brush against them they give off sparks, but he
He wondered why he felt so sad about it. It hurt, suddenly, to realize that he’d made a decision he couldnever go back on. He might be punished like a child, when he got back; but suddenly he understood thathe’d never feel like one again. It wasn’t just the act of disobeying his father—any kid could do that. Itwas that he had decided, once and for all, that he no longer was willing to let his father decide right andwrong for him. If he obeyed his father, after this, it would be because he had thought it over and decided,on a grown-up basis, that he wanted to obey him.
And it hurt. He felt a funny pain about it, but it never occurred to him to change his mind. He’d decidedwhat he was going to do. Now he had to decide how he was going to do it.
His father had mentioned that if he, Larry, got into trouble, it might drag the whole Terran Zone into it. That was something to consider. That was fair enough. Larry wanted to be sure there was no danger ofthat.
Page 27
Then he thought: I could be taken for a Darkovan, except for my clothes. I have been mistaken fora Darkovan by my accent. If I’m not dressed as a Terran, then I won’t get into any trouble .
And , he added to himself rather grimly, if anything does happen to me, the Terrans won’t bedragged into it. It will be my own responsibility .
Quickly, he got out of his own clothes and put on the Darkovan ones Kennard had lent him. He glancedbriefly at himself in the mirror. Part of himself recognized, a little ironic awareness, that he was enjoyingthe masquerade. It was exciting, an adventure. The other half of his awareness was a little grim. Bydeliberately taking off everything that could identify himself as Terran, he was deliberately giving up hisright to the protection of the Empire. Now he was on his own. He’d walk down into the city with nomore protection than his two hands and his knowledge of the language could give him.
As if I were really Darkovan born, and entirely on my own !
He had halfway anticipated being stopped at the gate, but he passed through the archway withoutchallenge, and went out into the city.
It was the hour when workmen were returning home, and the streets were crowded. He walked throughthem without attracting a glance, a strange breathless excitement growing under his ribs, and bursting inhim. With every step, he seemed somehow to leave the person he had been, further behind. It was as ifhis present dress was not a masquerade, but rather as if he had simply discovered a deeper layer ofhimself, and was living with it. The pale cold sun hung high in the sky, casting purple shadows across thenarrow streets and alleys; he found his way through the outlying reaches of the city with the instinct of acat. He was almost sorry when he finally reached the distant quarter where the house of the Altons lay.
The nonhuman he had seen before opened the door for him, but Kennard was standing in the hallway,and Larry wondered briefly if the Darkovan boy had been waiting for him.
“You did make it,” Kennard said, with a grin of satisfaction. “Somehow I’d had the feeling you wouldn’t
be able to, but when I looked this afternoon, I realized you would.”
The words were confusing; Larry tried to make sense of them, finally decided that they must be some Darkovan idiom he didn’t understand too well. He said, “I thought, for a while, that I couldn’t come,” buthe left it at that.
The nonhuman moved toward him, and Larry flinched and drew away involuntarily, remembering hisencounter with one in the streets. Kennard said quickly, “Don’t be afraid of the kyrri . It’s true that ifstrangers brush against them they give off sparks, but he
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