way I did. None at all.
Feeling like a wrung rag, I was actually happy to return to the quiet of Kent’s house. As usual, I kicked off my shoes and carried them inside, along with my purse and the dress bag holding my marginally attractive bridesmaid’s dress. Ransom’s wedding was going to be a small and private affair, with just me and John’s best friend as maid of honor and best man. Afterward, they were planning an intimate reception at a local hotel for about one hundred of their closest friends and family members. After we finished dress shopping, Ransom took me to the venue and showed me the room they’d booked. It was lovely, with access to a private patio area, decorated beautifully with flowering shrubs and trees. As someone who didn’t want a huge wedding, I definitely could see having my own wedding reception there…
Someday…
Maybe…
It was hard to stomach the thought that if I hadn’t been so immature and stupid, it might have been me walking down the aisle with John, not Ransom.
Then again, maybe not.
With years having passed since our breakup, it was easy to forget about the problems in our relationship. Yes, there had been problems. John had been attentive, just as he was with Ransom. But he’d also been a little needy. That weakness showed itself in a lot of irritating and frustrating ways. And that was probably why it was so easy for me to walk away, even though I knew in my heart that he was a good guy. Perhaps now that he had matured, he wasn’t so clingy and insecure. Or maybe Ransom didn’t mind it. Me, I suspected I preferred men who were more secure, powerful, maybe even a little challenging.
Someone like Kent. He was all those things.
And also forbidden.
After dumping my stuff in my room, and changing into my bathing suit, sliding on a pair of shorts and a tank top over top, I ventured outside.
The air was still and humid and thick. Feeling sweat gather on my skin, I followed the path toward the shaded oasis, looking forward to some peace and quiet. I loved Ransom with all my heart. I loved her enough to swallow my disappointment and dive into helping her with her wedding and baby showers. I loved her enough that I made sure she didn’t know that I was secretly a little jealous of her. She was not only marrying a man that I knew, that I had once wanted to marry, but she had found someone who loved her. John did, he loved her. It was clear on his face. It was that love--not so much that I still had feelings for him--that made today hard for me. My dumpy mood wasn’t because John loved Ransom. It was because nobody loved me like that.
What a freaking pitty-party I was having.
I sat on the bench and closed my eyes, head cradled in my hands.
Would it ever happen for me? Would I find The One? Would I fall in love? Would I glow, my stomach swelling as my lover’s child grew inside me?
While we’d been shopping, Ransom had filled me in, like she always did, telling me about our classmates. Some of them had gone to jail. Some were coming home from war. Those things had been going on for years, since shortly after our graduation. But this time she also told me about many who were getting married or having children.
I wasn’t even close to doing either.
What was wrong with me? Didn’t I deserve those things too?
Oh God girl, you sound pathetic. Stop this. Now.
“Rough day?” a deep, husky male voice asked.
I felt the thick air shift as he sat beside me, but I didn’t lift my head. I didn’t want him to see me like this. “Just long.”
“Hmm huh.” After a silent beat, Kent asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
“No.” Still staring down at the ground, I shook my head. Then a crazy thought flashed through my head. I tried to shove it away but instead of vanishing, words shot out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You could tell me what’s wrong with me,” I blurted, my eyes clamped tight so tears could not spill from them.
“What’s wrong with
Feeling like a wrung rag, I was actually happy to return to the quiet of Kent’s house. As usual, I kicked off my shoes and carried them inside, along with my purse and the dress bag holding my marginally attractive bridesmaid’s dress. Ransom’s wedding was going to be a small and private affair, with just me and John’s best friend as maid of honor and best man. Afterward, they were planning an intimate reception at a local hotel for about one hundred of their closest friends and family members. After we finished dress shopping, Ransom took me to the venue and showed me the room they’d booked. It was lovely, with access to a private patio area, decorated beautifully with flowering shrubs and trees. As someone who didn’t want a huge wedding, I definitely could see having my own wedding reception there…
Someday…
Maybe…
It was hard to stomach the thought that if I hadn’t been so immature and stupid, it might have been me walking down the aisle with John, not Ransom.
Then again, maybe not.
With years having passed since our breakup, it was easy to forget about the problems in our relationship. Yes, there had been problems. John had been attentive, just as he was with Ransom. But he’d also been a little needy. That weakness showed itself in a lot of irritating and frustrating ways. And that was probably why it was so easy for me to walk away, even though I knew in my heart that he was a good guy. Perhaps now that he had matured, he wasn’t so clingy and insecure. Or maybe Ransom didn’t mind it. Me, I suspected I preferred men who were more secure, powerful, maybe even a little challenging.
Someone like Kent. He was all those things.
And also forbidden.
After dumping my stuff in my room, and changing into my bathing suit, sliding on a pair of shorts and a tank top over top, I ventured outside.
The air was still and humid and thick. Feeling sweat gather on my skin, I followed the path toward the shaded oasis, looking forward to some peace and quiet. I loved Ransom with all my heart. I loved her enough to swallow my disappointment and dive into helping her with her wedding and baby showers. I loved her enough that I made sure she didn’t know that I was secretly a little jealous of her. She was not only marrying a man that I knew, that I had once wanted to marry, but she had found someone who loved her. John did, he loved her. It was clear on his face. It was that love--not so much that I still had feelings for him--that made today hard for me. My dumpy mood wasn’t because John loved Ransom. It was because nobody loved me like that.
What a freaking pitty-party I was having.
I sat on the bench and closed my eyes, head cradled in my hands.
Would it ever happen for me? Would I find The One? Would I fall in love? Would I glow, my stomach swelling as my lover’s child grew inside me?
While we’d been shopping, Ransom had filled me in, like she always did, telling me about our classmates. Some of them had gone to jail. Some were coming home from war. Those things had been going on for years, since shortly after our graduation. But this time she also told me about many who were getting married or having children.
I wasn’t even close to doing either.
What was wrong with me? Didn’t I deserve those things too?
Oh God girl, you sound pathetic. Stop this. Now.
“Rough day?” a deep, husky male voice asked.
I felt the thick air shift as he sat beside me, but I didn’t lift my head. I didn’t want him to see me like this. “Just long.”
“Hmm huh.” After a silent beat, Kent asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
“No.” Still staring down at the ground, I shook my head. Then a crazy thought flashed through my head. I tried to shove it away but instead of vanishing, words shot out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You could tell me what’s wrong with me,” I blurted, my eyes clamped tight so tears could not spill from them.
“What’s wrong with
Similar Books
