OCDaniel by Wesley King Page B

looked like an exhausted writer, I emerged from the bathroom.
    I stopped.
    Raya was on the dance floor with Taj. Obviously Ashley had succeeded in getting the two boys to pay attention to them, because she was dancing with Tom as well. That was one thing, but Raya was having fun. She was laughing and letting Taj put his arm around her back, and then they were dancing close and then doing something like the funky chicken, and then they were close again.
    I’d never seen her laugh like that. When she laughed with me it was quiet, smart laughter. I’d thought that was her laugh. But this was different. It was fun and loud. I felt the heartache again. You’re not good enough. You messed up. My stomach started to hurt, my breathing didn’t feel right, my skin went cold. I looked for Max, but he was dancing with Clara.
    I was alone.
    I found my way to a table in the corner of the gym. There were bowls of chips on them all. I sat at a table by myself, and then I felt a Zap. I moved the chip bowl. Then I tapped my leg. Then I started to cross my legs. I moved the chip bowl again. The Zaps grew stronger.
    You moved the chip bowl wrong. You’re going to feel like this forever. Raya is never going to like you because you’re crazy. You need to move the chip bowl.
    My stomach hurt. My hands were cold. I wanted to run away.
    You tapped wrong. Your stomach hurts because you are dying. Now your chest hurts. You are going to die if you don’t tap again. Now you need to go home. But you have to tap first. Not eight times. Not nine. Ten. No, that didn’t feel right. Back to one. No. Two. No. Three.
    I felt the sweat forming on my brow. When I get into these Zap modes, it’s hard to think or feel or do anything but try to save myself from the fear. I stood up, sweat pouring down my face.
    I wasn’t having fun anymore. I didn’t want to be there.
    I started for the gym door. Sara was watching me again. Now she was interested.
    I counted my steps. I avoided the lines. I skipped tables and didn’t make eye contact. My entire body was on fire and ice cold and I couldn’t breathe right. My chest hurt. My head hurt. I was dying.
    â€œDaniel!” someone called.
    I looked back, and Raya was walking toward me. I wanted to smile and say something clever, but I couldn’t.
    â€œWhere are you going?” she asked.
    I only kind of heard her. “Home,” I managed. “I don’t feel very good.”
    I tried to get away, but she caught my arm. She looked concerned.
    â€œYou’re sweating.”
    I pulled my arm away. “I know. The food or something.”
    â€œYou seemed fine—”
    â€œIt happened fast,” I said. She seemed so far away. I was disconnecting. The Great Space was here.
    â€œAre you sure?” she said. “Why don’t you just stick around—”
    â€œSorry,” I replied, starting for the door. I was leaving her behind me. Raya Singh. But she was so far away anyway. I couldn’t feel anymore. I was passing the door when I saw the switch. Zap .
    1.  You will never escape the Great Space unless you switch it.
    2.  The Great Space is even worse than usual. I can’t feel. I can’t think. I’m drifting away. My chest hurts and I’m going to die. I want to be normal again. I want to go home.
    3.  Flick the switch, and you will feel better.
    My rational brain tried to flick on again. I knew the light switch meant nothing. I could leave it and go home, and nothing would change. But then my rational brain started to fade again, and I couldn’t think about anything except that I was going to die. And I didn’t want to die. I had to fix this.
    And then, to my horror, I flicked the switch. The lights came on, and everyone looked up. I didn’t really see them, but I saw Sara. She was smiling.
    I flicked the lights off again. Everyone was staring at me.
    Raya looked confused.
    I ran out of the school.