caused me more depression, strife, money and contempt that I wish to remember. But I stood strong to form a relationship with my child and she used him in every way she could to expose every nerve ending in my body. It was one of the most trying times in my entire life.
I often said that if I went to hell, the experience would be like dealing with that woman every day. I often laughed and said that was Godâs way of giving me hell on earth for being so self-centered and selfish. I never took the time to think if I had just treated her with respect and never had entered into the sexual relationship, both our lives would have been so different. But then I think that if we hadnât had the relationship, I would not have my son. So it was all worth it. My son is my pride and joy and I love him so much. He looks just like me and as I told him before, âYour name might have changed, but it is my blood that flows through your veins and that is all that matters.â
My greatest inner fear is that on his eighteenth birthday she will tell me that he really isnât my son. We never had a blood test and it wouldnât matter anyway. I raised him as my son and my son he will always be.
Ms. Newhouse, once again, Iâm not proud of my situation, but Iâve just sat down and realized what a fool I have been to myself and others. As I stated before, while Jessica was pregnant, I was dating a woman named Phyllis Charles on and off. I met Phyllis at my college. I was a Black Student Union alumni representative and she was a sophomore. We met at a retreat. It was an instant attraction.
It was really crazy. We attended the same college, our birthdays were on the same day, and we later found that our mothers had the same name. To make it that much more incredible, if you add up both our birthdays, thatâs the day our daughter was born, and in the same month we were born. It seemed like a match made in heaven, but I would soon mess that up, too.
I was a roller-skating fool and was one of the best skaters at the rink. I would skate at least three times a week and Phyllis would come with me. But once she became pregnant and started to show, she could not skate anymore. Women loved a brother that could skate and would let it be known at couples skate that they wanted to give up the panties. I was a victim of popularity.
For the longest time, I fought off the temptation, because I was really in love with Phyllis. I would go to her house before and after skating to make sure she was okay and didnât need for anything. She was heartbroken when she learned of Jessicaâs pregnancy, but overlooked it as best she could.
We got along and I remained true to her, but the rumors and strain of being pregnant at the same time as another woman by the same man took its toll. We were on again, off again for many months, but I would make sure she was okay and had what she needed. Even when our daughter was born I was there. I often had both infants at the same time and would bring them to my parentsâ and take them to church with me. I would have them every other weekend and my eldest daughter was happy to help with them when she would be in town visiting.
I was forced to work nights and had pretty much no life. I needed the nighttime differential to be able to pay my bills and the child support for three children. Half my check was gone. I often worked part-time in law enforcement to make extra money. I was armed security for several companies before finally working as a security supervisor for a professional football team. I did this for over ten years.
Joy, for the next four or five years, I didnât date much. I had a few relationships, but they didnât amount to anything because I was never fully satisfied. I was not yet thirty-three and had never been married. Out of nowhere I met Regan Childs. She was beautiful. I knew the first time I laid eyes on her that she would be my wife. The only problem, she was
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