Once by Anna Carey Page A

fence. I walked toward her, taking in her sweat-dampened black hair, the bruises around her wrists and ankles, the scratchy paper gown that came down to her knees. “Ruby,” I said, looking down at her stomach, hidden behind the robe. She didn’t look like she was pregnant—at least not yet. “You’re okay.”
    The night I left, I had stood there in the doorway to our bedroom, listening to my friends’ breathing, and wondered when I’d be able to return. In Califia, every time Maeve taught me something—how to use a knife, shoot an arrow, climb a rope—I’d imagined bringing the women of Califia with me back to School, Quinn or Isis beside me as we charged through the dim dormitory, waking the girls from sleep. I hadn’t imagined things happening like this.
    Ruby’s eyes were half closed. As she clung to the fence her body swayed back and forth, her limbs loose. “What’s wrong? What did they do to you?” I asked. My eyes darted around the small lawn. I noticed a few girls from my class, and a few more from the year above, sitting at the stone picnic tables. Maxine, a button-nosed girl who had gossiped incessantly, had her head down on the table. “Ruby?”
    â€œGet away from the fence,” a guard called from inside. The woman was short and thickset, her cheeks covered in pockmarks. “Stand back!” She pointed her gun at me but I ignored her, instead pressing my face against the fence so my nose nearly touched Ruby’s.
    â€œWhere’s Pip?” I whispered. Ruby didn’t look at me, her eyes fixed on my battered gray boots. “Ruby, answer me,” I hissed more urgently. The guard inside the pen was coming toward us. Stark had climbed out of the Jeep. We didn’t have much time.
    Ruby looked up at the sky. The sun hit her chestnut eyes, illuminating the browns and golds hidden in their depths. Say something , I thought as Stark started toward me, Lowell right behind him. Please just say something .
    â€œBack away from the fence, Eve! Enough,” Stark called. Then, to the guard, “Lower your weapon!”
    â€œPlease,” I urged.
    She parted her lips to speak. “Where did all the birds go?” she asked, then rested her forehead on the fence.
    Stark grabbed my elbow. He raised his hand to the guard, signaling for her to lower her weapon. “All right, enough. Back in the truck,” he muttered, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my arm.
    As they loaded me back into the Jeep and tied me to the carriage once more, I kept my eyes on Ruby. She was still leaning against the fence, her mouth moving, as if she hadn’t even noticed I’d gone.
    Lowell started the engine and the Jeep’s tires ground against the hard earth. The gate pulled back. I felt that familiar loneliness, the bottomless, empty feeling of having no one. The place that had stolen Pip and Ruby from me had taken Arden, too. I watched the stone wall disappear behind the trees as the gate shut, so much of my life still trapped inside.

ten
    THE SUN SLIPPED BEHIND THE MOUNTAINS. THE WOODS WERE giving way to wide stretches of sand. I sat tied to the Jeep’s metal insides, my body stiff and sore from so many hours in the truck. We were forced to drive on the bumpy, bare ground beside the asphalt to avoid the many motionless, scorched cars blocking the roadway. The Jeep passed under giant signs, their paper ripped and peeling, images faded in the sun. PALMS , one read. ONE RESORT . TOO MANY TEMPTATIONS . Another showed bottles of amber liquid, the glass beaded with sweat. The word BUDWEISER was barely legible.
    We sped toward the City’s walls. Massive towers rose up from the desert, just as we’d been told at School. My thoughts were with Arden and Pip, strapped to those metal beds, and with Ruby and her unfocused stare. Ruby’s question kept playing in my head— What about me? The guilt returned. I