super powers, but being invisible isn’t one of them. Everybody was doing double takes. You should’ve seen their faces. It was hilarious. There was a lot of horn honking, but not like we were blocking the road or being too slow to move when the light changed or anything like that. It was happy honking. “You see?” said Ely. “The Vegetable Avenger spreads joy wherever he goes.” I said, “Joy and manure.” As soon as I sat down in the chair, Dr Croxley wanted to know if he really saw me pull up in a truck driven by a root vegetable. I said, “Yes.”
Worked with Louie on the epic saga of
Love and Lawn-mowing
tonight. I thought he was literally going to split his sides when I told him about the Vegetable Avenger. Naturally, Louie wants to film Ely. He figures he can make it a series. I said yeah,
Killer Carrots Take Over the World.
Then he wanted to know if I was bringing What’s-his-name to Movie Club this week. I said we couldn’t make it because of the game. Louie said, “Since when do you like softball?” I said I don’t know whether I like it or not, do I? I’ve never actually sat through a whole game. Louie said, “Maybe there’s a reason for that.”
There were three messages from Connor when I got back to Casa D’Angelo. One when he was almost home. One when he got home. And one after he had a shower. (I don’t even have to ask Nomi to know how UNPRECEDENTED that is!) I called him right back. He wanted to know what was up. He’d left three messages. I said I was charging my phone. He said he really wishes I’d charge it while I’m sleeping. He likes to be able to reach me. I said that if he always has to be able to reach me, it’s going to be a little hard for me to bungee jump off the Empire State Building or speak in front of the United Nations. He thought that was hilarious.
Connor came to pick me up. I’d been keeping watch because I wanted to get out of the door before my mom knew he was here, but Zelda distracted me by suddenly dumping everything in my bag on the floor. Anyway I think my mom must’ve spotted him even before he got out of the car. By the time I got to them they were old friends. She told us to have a good time, and she told him to drive carefully. It was excruciating. But Connor just smiled and said, “I always drive carefully, Mrs D’Angelo. You don’t have to worry about that.” And then she invited him to supper. Tomorrow! I almost fell off the porch. All I could think was she
had
to be kidding. She was inviting him to EAT WITH US? Was she trying to stop him from ever seeing me again? Fortunately, Connor’s doing extra shifts to make up for the days he lost killing fish, so he can’t do tomorrow. What a shame! But just as I started to relax, my mother said, “Well, what about next Friday?” I tried to tug Connor backwards, willing him to say,
I’m really sorry but I’m busy that night, too
. He said, “That’d be great. Thank you, Mrs D’Angelo. I’d love to come.” Which was when I did fall off the porch. I tripped over Mrs Claws. When we got in the car I was going to tell him that he didn’t have to come to supper just to be polite – I could make up some story about how he’d been infected by a virulent disease he’d contracted from coffee beans – but before I could open my mouth he handed me something wrapped in Christmas paper. (It was all he could find.) Inside was a crystal in the shape of a star to hang from my window. It was to say sorry for the other night when he flushed the toilet in the middle of our romantic space odyssey. HOW CUTE IS THAT?
I’m going to be honest. If we’re talking about sports, as far as softball goes, I’d probably rather watch gymnastics. (And if we’re talking just in general I’d rather watch a movie. Even one the guys picked.) But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the game, because I did. It couldn’t fail, really. What was I going to do, read a book while Connor was playing? Fall asleep? Go
Worked with Louie on the epic saga of
Love and Lawn-mowing
tonight. I thought he was literally going to split his sides when I told him about the Vegetable Avenger. Naturally, Louie wants to film Ely. He figures he can make it a series. I said yeah,
Killer Carrots Take Over the World.
Then he wanted to know if I was bringing What’s-his-name to Movie Club this week. I said we couldn’t make it because of the game. Louie said, “Since when do you like softball?” I said I don’t know whether I like it or not, do I? I’ve never actually sat through a whole game. Louie said, “Maybe there’s a reason for that.”
There were three messages from Connor when I got back to Casa D’Angelo. One when he was almost home. One when he got home. And one after he had a shower. (I don’t even have to ask Nomi to know how UNPRECEDENTED that is!) I called him right back. He wanted to know what was up. He’d left three messages. I said I was charging my phone. He said he really wishes I’d charge it while I’m sleeping. He likes to be able to reach me. I said that if he always has to be able to reach me, it’s going to be a little hard for me to bungee jump off the Empire State Building or speak in front of the United Nations. He thought that was hilarious.
Connor came to pick me up. I’d been keeping watch because I wanted to get out of the door before my mom knew he was here, but Zelda distracted me by suddenly dumping everything in my bag on the floor. Anyway I think my mom must’ve spotted him even before he got out of the car. By the time I got to them they were old friends. She told us to have a good time, and she told him to drive carefully. It was excruciating. But Connor just smiled and said, “I always drive carefully, Mrs D’Angelo. You don’t have to worry about that.” And then she invited him to supper. Tomorrow! I almost fell off the porch. All I could think was she
had
to be kidding. She was inviting him to EAT WITH US? Was she trying to stop him from ever seeing me again? Fortunately, Connor’s doing extra shifts to make up for the days he lost killing fish, so he can’t do tomorrow. What a shame! But just as I started to relax, my mother said, “Well, what about next Friday?” I tried to tug Connor backwards, willing him to say,
I’m really sorry but I’m busy that night, too
. He said, “That’d be great. Thank you, Mrs D’Angelo. I’d love to come.” Which was when I did fall off the porch. I tripped over Mrs Claws. When we got in the car I was going to tell him that he didn’t have to come to supper just to be polite – I could make up some story about how he’d been infected by a virulent disease he’d contracted from coffee beans – but before I could open my mouth he handed me something wrapped in Christmas paper. (It was all he could find.) Inside was a crystal in the shape of a star to hang from my window. It was to say sorry for the other night when he flushed the toilet in the middle of our romantic space odyssey. HOW CUTE IS THAT?
I’m going to be honest. If we’re talking about sports, as far as softball goes, I’d probably rather watch gymnastics. (And if we’re talking just in general I’d rather watch a movie. Even one the guys picked.) But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the game, because I did. It couldn’t fail, really. What was I going to do, read a book while Connor was playing? Fall asleep? Go
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