he
died with people around who apparently didn’t see anything unusual and the
autopsy confirmed cause of death as a massive heart attack made me feel like a
crazy conspiracy theorist. But I was getting used to being crazy, so I decided
to figure out what Lightyear was and learn more about Lee Duncan.
I started meditating four times daily, in
the morning, before bed and two other times whenever it could be worked in.
Amber suggested calling on my guides. She said we all have them, but most
people use the name guardian angels. Some think they are dead friends and
relatives, but Amber thought it was deeper than that. Apparently, entities from
another dimension are able to help us. Amber was hitting me with so much
information that it occurred to me that “New Age Mayes” might be a little nuts
herself, but at this point I didn’t have any other great options. Besides, for
the first time in years, something felt right. Finally, who I was started to
make sense.
Later, while bringing our trashcan in from
the curb, I saw Sam again. He walked across and asked if I’d read the
reincarnation book. “I skimmed it but haven’t gotten into it yet.”
“I know how much you like history. You may
be surprised to know how many famous people believed in reincarnation. Benjamin
Franklin, Napoleon, Gandhi, General Patton, Thoreau, Socrates, Henry Ford, on
and on.”
“I had no idea.”
“You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. For
some reason you’re able to see something most of us can’t.”
In the middle of the night I woke to
whirling stars and the spinning trees. When had I fallen asleep? When had I
woken? Was I awake? Nothing mattered. I was going again. Amber’s sparkling eyes
shined across times that I did not remember I had forgotten. The Outviews were
a familiar strangeness now, and the distant screams that always accompanied
them had taken on a musical quality. This one was the first time I knew someone
going into it. Where was I going and could I stop? Would I get back? That was
the question that terrified me most: what if I just didn’t come back to this
lifetime?
14
Thursday, September 18
Third period was English with weaselly Mr.
James, who held the distinction of being the least favorite teacher of my
entire school career. What are the odds that Dustin sat in the same chair and also
had him during third period, two years earlier? Most of the time Mr. James called
me Dustin, but he said it almost like “Dis-gus-tin.” He would call on me only
when he was sure I couldn’t answer, like that day. “Dustin, in the Adventures
of Huckleberry Finn, Huck uses several aliases. Will you please tell me one
of them?”
There had been no time to read this when Kyle
expected me to consume Thich Nhat Hanh, Amber had four books she said must be
read, and then there was the book from Sam. “It’s Nathan, Mr. James, and I--”
He cut me off, “Incorrect Mr. Ryder, Huck
Finn did not use Nathan as an alias. Who can tell Dustin the right answer?” And
I thought I was crazy.
Luckily fourth-period history was my
favorite subject with the best teacher, Mr. Anderson. He had a way of making
history cool and exciting, not like some boring stuff that already happened. He
showed us how events, even thousands of years ago, not only affected us today but
were similar to current events. “The same things keep happening again and
again,” he’d always say. “It takes humans a very long time to learn.” He was my
youngest teacher--I’m sure he wasn’t thirty yet. Sometimes I’d miss lunch
because he and I would get into a long conversation about the Vikings or the
American Revolutionary War. Kyle told me I was Mr. A’s favorite student.
I was leaving the cafeteria to head for
fifth-period French class when Mrs. Little stopped me in the hall. “Nathan,
there’s some testing I’d like you to come in for next week.”
“Is it required?”
“What does that mean?”
“Is it voluntary or
died with people around who apparently didn’t see anything unusual and the
autopsy confirmed cause of death as a massive heart attack made me feel like a
crazy conspiracy theorist. But I was getting used to being crazy, so I decided
to figure out what Lightyear was and learn more about Lee Duncan.
I started meditating four times daily, in
the morning, before bed and two other times whenever it could be worked in.
Amber suggested calling on my guides. She said we all have them, but most
people use the name guardian angels. Some think they are dead friends and
relatives, but Amber thought it was deeper than that. Apparently, entities from
another dimension are able to help us. Amber was hitting me with so much
information that it occurred to me that “New Age Mayes” might be a little nuts
herself, but at this point I didn’t have any other great options. Besides, for
the first time in years, something felt right. Finally, who I was started to
make sense.
Later, while bringing our trashcan in from
the curb, I saw Sam again. He walked across and asked if I’d read the
reincarnation book. “I skimmed it but haven’t gotten into it yet.”
“I know how much you like history. You may
be surprised to know how many famous people believed in reincarnation. Benjamin
Franklin, Napoleon, Gandhi, General Patton, Thoreau, Socrates, Henry Ford, on
and on.”
“I had no idea.”
“You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. For
some reason you’re able to see something most of us can’t.”
In the middle of the night I woke to
whirling stars and the spinning trees. When had I fallen asleep? When had I
woken? Was I awake? Nothing mattered. I was going again. Amber’s sparkling eyes
shined across times that I did not remember I had forgotten. The Outviews were
a familiar strangeness now, and the distant screams that always accompanied
them had taken on a musical quality. This one was the first time I knew someone
going into it. Where was I going and could I stop? Would I get back? That was
the question that terrified me most: what if I just didn’t come back to this
lifetime?
14
Thursday, September 18
Third period was English with weaselly Mr.
James, who held the distinction of being the least favorite teacher of my
entire school career. What are the odds that Dustin sat in the same chair and also
had him during third period, two years earlier? Most of the time Mr. James called
me Dustin, but he said it almost like “Dis-gus-tin.” He would call on me only
when he was sure I couldn’t answer, like that day. “Dustin, in the Adventures
of Huckleberry Finn, Huck uses several aliases. Will you please tell me one
of them?”
There had been no time to read this when Kyle
expected me to consume Thich Nhat Hanh, Amber had four books she said must be
read, and then there was the book from Sam. “It’s Nathan, Mr. James, and I--”
He cut me off, “Incorrect Mr. Ryder, Huck
Finn did not use Nathan as an alias. Who can tell Dustin the right answer?” And
I thought I was crazy.
Luckily fourth-period history was my
favorite subject with the best teacher, Mr. Anderson. He had a way of making
history cool and exciting, not like some boring stuff that already happened. He
showed us how events, even thousands of years ago, not only affected us today but
were similar to current events. “The same things keep happening again and
again,” he’d always say. “It takes humans a very long time to learn.” He was my
youngest teacher--I’m sure he wasn’t thirty yet. Sometimes I’d miss lunch
because he and I would get into a long conversation about the Vikings or the
American Revolutionary War. Kyle told me I was Mr. A’s favorite student.
I was leaving the cafeteria to head for
fifth-period French class when Mrs. Little stopped me in the hall. “Nathan,
there’s some testing I’d like you to come in for next week.”
“Is it required?”
“What does that mean?”
“Is it voluntary or
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