Pale Rider: Zombies versus Dinosaurs by James Livingood Page A

on small
prey, but only when human hosts are not available. It is not known
why “Janus’s Kiss” does not spread to other animals. Testing with
chimps would be helpful, but there are none in this part of the
world. Several enterprising young minds have tried rats, but they
are not changed by the saliva or blood from a blue.
    If you encounter a blue, follow this
advice:
    Don’t Run, Stun!
    Blues often hunt for weaker and sick humans.
Standing your ground and appearing strong will scare off blues. In
the beginning, we had become so used to being the top of the food
chain, that the thought of being hunted was frightening. Most of
the population ran, and that led to massive feasts. Furthermore,
our distaste for mandatory physicals meant pockets of blues formed.
Gun owners and others brazen enough to stand their ground often
kept their ground. Yet, as humans became replaced, the blue’s
tactics became more complex. Soon, only standing your ground with a
gun was not enough. The practice still works in isolated regions,
but the best escape from a blue is to retreat to a safe city.
    New Eye City was formed for just that reason.
Survivalists knew how to build flash communities, which would then
focus on walls. As many of you know, gasoline fuel was no longer an
option as the infrastructure collapsed around humanity. Cars,
trucks, and farming equipment gathered rust from disuse. Humanity
needed a new approach to surviving.
    An enterprising young man noticed the size of
birds increasing every year. With the idea of combining a carrier
pigeon and package delivery service, he captured several birds. He
manipulated DNA from the birds and added in sequences found in
Janus’s myelin deformity. A multitude of generations of
experimentation later, a series of useful franken-monsters were
created. Because of their small brains and massive sizes, these
beasts make quick work of farming and clearing land. These large
creatures are immune to Janus’s kiss and perform excellently in
loud conditions. They are easy to train. They behave like war
horses, prone to help charge in and defend our livelihood.
    In honor of the past, and to help build our
future, we named these creatures dinosaurs.

CHAPTER ONE
A Bargain
     
     
    I am often left to wonder why a zombie,
walking around in the sun, smells better than a pooping dinosaur.
The fecal smell always reminded me of an industrial strength
cleaner mixed with expired milk, then put into a wood chipper.
Perhaps I am a purist, but poop should smell like poop.
    Such are my thoughts as I watch the half ton
green stegosaurus pull my steel plow across the meadow while also
using the bathroom. The plow churned up the earth and jumped when
it hit a rock. Even though this was a secure area, I hated the
extra noise when I hit a rock. Additional noise was the most common
way to attract blue brains. This area was farm classified land, and
as such, protected by one of the best containment fences. Still, I
had known many other farmers that died from a blue that had been
hiding. I paid little attention to how thorough of a job I did, as
it made more sense to watch the tree lines.
    This crop was simply a test harvest. All the
food I produced would be thrown to the dinosaurs. It was “unfit for
human consumption”. Once the land was reclaimed from those zombie
blues, the soil was considered a bio-hazard for at least a year.
Spilled blood could carry the virus for up to 2-3 weeks. People
were always paranoid that blue brains would start their harvest in
our fields. That is why I took the job, because I didn’t have to do
much but keep watch. I knew that the professional farmers viewed
what I did like their “canary in a coal mine”. If I died, then only
risk hardy fools would work this land. If I survived a season, I
would have a chance at selling this sun filled plot to a
professional farmer. What they grew would be sold for a
premium.
    It was a good life, so long as one wasn’t
complacent. Relaxing or taking