Papa Bear (Finding Fatherhood Book 1) by Kit Tunstall, Kit Fawkes Page B

the shooting. She wasn’t entirely clear about everything that had led to her collapse, but it all revolved around Lucas and Angel and had nothing to do with the danger they’d faced yesterday. That had been frightening, but not nearly as terrifying as the prospect of losing the two of them, which was an inevitability.
    “It wasn’t the shooting. I think…it just hit me what I’ve lost, even though I never really had it.”
    He frowned, his confusion obvious. “What have you lost? Maybe I can help you find it.”
    A small giggle escaped through her raspy throat. “It’s not that kind of lost. I really can’t talk about this with you.”
    He took a step back, dropping his arms from around her. He ran a hand through his hair as he growled in evident frustration. “I don’t understand you. Why can’t you talk about it with me? I thought we were close.”
    She let out a small sigh. “It’s because we were getting too close that I can’t talk to you. Every interaction makes it harder to do the right thing.”
    Lucas scowled. “What’s the right thing?”
    “Get out of your life and forget how much you and the baby mean to me.” She snapped the words at him, regretting her honesty a moment later when she realized what she was confessing.
    His expression softened, and he reached out a hand to her, pressing it against her cheek. “How could that be the right thing when it’s hurting all of us?”
    Her bottom lip trembled, and she sank her teeth through it to keep from crying again. “You have to trust me on that. I’m no good for you or her. We have to forget all about whatever we had for a little while.”
    His expression tightened, and he shook his head. “No.”
    Her eyes widened. “It’s not up for debate.”
    “I can’t forget about what we had, because I’m in love with you. I want you to be my mate—wife and help me raise Angel. I don’t need months or years to determine that. We’re made for each other, and I don’t understand why you keep fighting that.”
    He was so calm and certain, so confident in his pronouncement, that conversely it sent a wave of panic spiraling through her. She pulled away from his hand and spun on her heel, running out the front door before logic could reassert itself. In the back of her mind, she knew there was nowhere to run, and she was in no danger, but panic had taken over, triggering her fight-or-flight response.
    Adrenaline pumped through her, and she ran as fast and as hard as she could through the crude trail in the forest, her heart thundering in her ears and her breathing a series of ragged gasps. She would’ve run blindly until extending her last reserves of energy if she hadn’t tripped over an exposed root and landed on the hard ground. A few leaves cushioned the blow, but the wind was knocked out of her.
    As she gasped for breath, her mind started to calm down, and by the time Lucas and Angel caught up with her, she could almost breathe again, and she had enough control not to try to scramble to her feet and keep running.
    He didn’t chastise her for running or express any confusion or anger. He simply knelt on the ground beside her before gracefully sitting on his butt, placing the car seat to the side after ensuring Angel was still sleeping. Then he put his arm around her and pulled her against his chest. “Tell me why you think you’re not good enough for me. It’s complete crap, but I want to hear what your reasons are. Before you tell me though, I want you to know that nothing you’ll say is going to shake my conviction that I love you, and we belong together. I don’t care if you were a prostitute or a drug addict or an assassin for the government.”
    She laughed in spite of herself as she imagined herself in the role of government assassin, or even prostitute. She shook her head. “It’s nothing like that, though the drug addict thing is kind of close. When I was nineteen, I was arrested with twenty kilos of cocaine in my car.” To