Maybe she is already dating someone else,” Voice Two replied.
“No, can’t be,” Voice One stressed.
“Why not?” Voice Three asked.
“Because...” Voice One had no answer. The rest of the voices began to laugh.
“See, even you know it,” Voice Two continued bullying. Voice One began to weep.
“Look at this loser, it is because of him that we didn’t have any life in the past seven years.”
“Yes you are right. Remember how we blew that sweet seventeen-year-old horny girl at Bittu’s sangeet.” Voice Three said referring to a girl I met at Malini Didi’s sister-in-law’s wedding.
“She was Jiju’s cousin, you asshole,” Voice One yelled.
“What about Roxy?” Voice Four asked.
“Who Roxy? Voice Three enquired.
“That girl we met in Chandigarh for that shoot.”
“Hrida was with me then, and I couldn’t cheat on her.” Voice One yelled again.
“Fair enough, where is Hrida now?” Voice Four asked
“Probably in bed with a guy with a Greek-god-like body,” Voice Five said.
“Shut up!!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!!” Voice One wailed.
I opened my eyes, switched on my laptop, and googled ‘Most painless ways to commit suicide’
I clicked the first link that appeared, it said:
‘101 foolproof and original ways to end your own existence on earth’
– Jump from an helicopter into a valley,
– Create a spark at a gas station and blow yourself up,
– Get plastered with explosives and blast yourself in parliament. In case you change you mind at the last moment, the guards will kill you; and if you succeed, at least you’ll do some good to you country before you die,
– Sneak into a space shuttle and lie beneath the big-ass fire nozzles,
– Lie down on a railway track and pay someone to tie you in case you choose to run away…
There was not one thing that I could use right at that moment. Plus, I wanted something painless that would kill me instantly. The pain I was already experiencing was enough to last for next seven lives. I didn’t want any more of it.
I ran into the bathroom, locked myself up, and hastily quested for it in the cabinet above the water tank for a few minutes before I finally found it. Phenol. My end. The study of organic chemistry in high school came in handy.
“ Phenol is a strong neurotoxin and when mixed in the blood stream it shuts down neural transmission system and can kill a human body instantly. ”
I had to make sure that I gulped a nice mouthful because if I didn’t die, my mother would kill me slowly with her melodramatic lectures.
I made myself comfortable on the pot and opened the cap of the bottle. I took a deep breath and put the bottle to my mouth. As soon as the contents entered my mouth I felt a horrendous burning sensation. And just as it was about to reach my epiglottis, the voices of all the people I loved screamed in my mind asking me to stop.
“Oh shit I’m actually killing myself! ”
All of a sudden, I spat it all out. I panicked that I was going to die and shoved my head into bucket filled with water. My mouth was on fire. I spent the rest of the night cleansing it.
“See the gutless loser can’t even kill himself,” a voice mocked me, and the mental torture began all over again.
One morning, five days after my almost suicide day, I was having breakfast with my dad.
“Someone broke you heart, buddy?” Dad asked.
“ Haan ...” I mumbled coming out of my lost world. “No, nothing like that.” I said and smiled.
“You haven’t been eating,” he said looking at my plate.
“I’m alright. I’m not feeling hungry,” I was so hungry that I could have eaten an elephant. I hadn’t eaten in days. My mouth was so sore due to the stunt I pulled off the other night that I could barely drink water.
“So what plans for the new year?” Dad asked.
“Nothing yet, but will do
“No, can’t be,” Voice One stressed.
“Why not?” Voice Three asked.
“Because...” Voice One had no answer. The rest of the voices began to laugh.
“See, even you know it,” Voice Two continued bullying. Voice One began to weep.
“Look at this loser, it is because of him that we didn’t have any life in the past seven years.”
“Yes you are right. Remember how we blew that sweet seventeen-year-old horny girl at Bittu’s sangeet.” Voice Three said referring to a girl I met at Malini Didi’s sister-in-law’s wedding.
“She was Jiju’s cousin, you asshole,” Voice One yelled.
“What about Roxy?” Voice Four asked.
“Who Roxy? Voice Three enquired.
“That girl we met in Chandigarh for that shoot.”
“Hrida was with me then, and I couldn’t cheat on her.” Voice One yelled again.
“Fair enough, where is Hrida now?” Voice Four asked
“Probably in bed with a guy with a Greek-god-like body,” Voice Five said.
“Shut up!!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!!” Voice One wailed.
I opened my eyes, switched on my laptop, and googled ‘Most painless ways to commit suicide’
I clicked the first link that appeared, it said:
‘101 foolproof and original ways to end your own existence on earth’
– Jump from an helicopter into a valley,
– Create a spark at a gas station and blow yourself up,
– Get plastered with explosives and blast yourself in parliament. In case you change you mind at the last moment, the guards will kill you; and if you succeed, at least you’ll do some good to you country before you die,
– Sneak into a space shuttle and lie beneath the big-ass fire nozzles,
– Lie down on a railway track and pay someone to tie you in case you choose to run away…
There was not one thing that I could use right at that moment. Plus, I wanted something painless that would kill me instantly. The pain I was already experiencing was enough to last for next seven lives. I didn’t want any more of it.
I ran into the bathroom, locked myself up, and hastily quested for it in the cabinet above the water tank for a few minutes before I finally found it. Phenol. My end. The study of organic chemistry in high school came in handy.
“ Phenol is a strong neurotoxin and when mixed in the blood stream it shuts down neural transmission system and can kill a human body instantly. ”
I had to make sure that I gulped a nice mouthful because if I didn’t die, my mother would kill me slowly with her melodramatic lectures.
I made myself comfortable on the pot and opened the cap of the bottle. I took a deep breath and put the bottle to my mouth. As soon as the contents entered my mouth I felt a horrendous burning sensation. And just as it was about to reach my epiglottis, the voices of all the people I loved screamed in my mind asking me to stop.
“Oh shit I’m actually killing myself! ”
All of a sudden, I spat it all out. I panicked that I was going to die and shoved my head into bucket filled with water. My mouth was on fire. I spent the rest of the night cleansing it.
“See the gutless loser can’t even kill himself,” a voice mocked me, and the mental torture began all over again.
One morning, five days after my almost suicide day, I was having breakfast with my dad.
“Someone broke you heart, buddy?” Dad asked.
“ Haan ...” I mumbled coming out of my lost world. “No, nothing like that.” I said and smiled.
“You haven’t been eating,” he said looking at my plate.
“I’m alright. I’m not feeling hungry,” I was so hungry that I could have eaten an elephant. I hadn’t eaten in days. My mouth was so sore due to the stunt I pulled off the other night that I could barely drink water.
“So what plans for the new year?” Dad asked.
“Nothing yet, but will do
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