since Universal Illumination & Heat cut output last year—but the real thing, so bright you could see it with your skin.”
“You must have missed that, I suppose.”
“No, not that I recall. Perhaps I did for a while, but I was too young. The circus was a wonderful adventure, you know, one that any child would have given its teeth to have been part of.”
Federated Mathematics, Inc. adjusted the Laws of Diminishing Returns for the second quarter in a row, creating quite a nice dividend for its stockholders. I’m not so sure I approve of the new amendments to the Law of Averages, however. The Division of Probability has ties to gangsters, I am positive, no matter what anyone says to the contrary.
The sun set late again today, but at least the sunset didn’t look too bad, albeit a trifle monochromatic.
Day XVII
I can’t say I am in the best of moods, not after the past few days. I am normally a placid sort of individual, but I do have my limits. I cannot be imposed upon with impunity.
I am in the habit of taking public transportation to and from my place of employment. It is inexpensive and I believe it my duty to help in even that small way to reduce traffic and pollution. Normally, the ride is a quiet and comfortable one and I employ the time usefully by reading the newspaper or a good, edifying book. But lately . . . Well, the first thing I shall do after completing this entry in my diary will be to compose a very sharp letter to General Geometry, Ltd., telling them in no uncertain terms the havoc their slipshod standards have played with the wheels of my bus. Making pi equal to three, indeed! I shall write to my senator if need be.
“Have you ever been to London?” my friend asked as he poured himself a fresh cup of coffee.
“No, I’m afraid I have never had that pleasure.”
“Wonderful city! Just wonderful! I believe I’ve told you it was my second home after leaving Africa. Lived in the Paris zoo first, for a short while, but I don’t have very clear memories of that place. Took a rhinoceros in trade for me, I understand, which just goes to show you something. Well, I lived in London for some three years and was the darling of the city. The kids just loved me, I tell you. Whole city raised a hell of a stink when Barnum came and wanted to buy me. I was flattered beyond words but the zoo couldn’t say no to ten thousand dollars. To tell you the truth, I think they were just tired of feeding me.”
“Really? Why, if anyone were to ask me, I’d say you eat like a bird!”
Day XIX
The speed of sound was lowered today and the speed of light cut even more drastically. It is making my typing difficult. But I suppose it is necessary so that more essential services can be maintained. Momentum will only operate from 6 am to midnight on weekdays, 6 am to 6 pm on Saturdays and not at all on Sundays. But I usually stay in on weekends, so I will probably never notice any difference.
“People have said a lot of ugly things about P.T. Barnum,” my friend said as he picked toast crumbs from his chin. “But I tell you I liked the man. Yes, sir, I did! Did I ever tell you about what he did after that train hit me? Well, the man cried like a baby, he did. Bawled his eyes out. Couldn’t bear to see me buried, so he had me stuffed instead. I continued to travel with the show for years and, to tell you the truth, I hardly felt dead at all.”
“Must have saved Barnum a fortune on food, I imagine.”
“There is that, now that you mention it.”
Pluto was canceled as well as the asteroid belt and the moons of Uranus and Neptune. Just as well, I say. In my opinion they were an unnecessary waste of natural resources.
Day LVI
I see in today’s paper that they’ve decided to eliminate ghosts, poltergeists and imaginary friends. At first this worried me a little, but the elephant is hardly imaginary. And would a ghost make breakfast for me? As for being a poltergeist, I understand they are extraordinarily
“You must have missed that, I suppose.”
“No, not that I recall. Perhaps I did for a while, but I was too young. The circus was a wonderful adventure, you know, one that any child would have given its teeth to have been part of.”
Federated Mathematics, Inc. adjusted the Laws of Diminishing Returns for the second quarter in a row, creating quite a nice dividend for its stockholders. I’m not so sure I approve of the new amendments to the Law of Averages, however. The Division of Probability has ties to gangsters, I am positive, no matter what anyone says to the contrary.
The sun set late again today, but at least the sunset didn’t look too bad, albeit a trifle monochromatic.
Day XVII
I can’t say I am in the best of moods, not after the past few days. I am normally a placid sort of individual, but I do have my limits. I cannot be imposed upon with impunity.
I am in the habit of taking public transportation to and from my place of employment. It is inexpensive and I believe it my duty to help in even that small way to reduce traffic and pollution. Normally, the ride is a quiet and comfortable one and I employ the time usefully by reading the newspaper or a good, edifying book. But lately . . . Well, the first thing I shall do after completing this entry in my diary will be to compose a very sharp letter to General Geometry, Ltd., telling them in no uncertain terms the havoc their slipshod standards have played with the wheels of my bus. Making pi equal to three, indeed! I shall write to my senator if need be.
“Have you ever been to London?” my friend asked as he poured himself a fresh cup of coffee.
“No, I’m afraid I have never had that pleasure.”
“Wonderful city! Just wonderful! I believe I’ve told you it was my second home after leaving Africa. Lived in the Paris zoo first, for a short while, but I don’t have very clear memories of that place. Took a rhinoceros in trade for me, I understand, which just goes to show you something. Well, I lived in London for some three years and was the darling of the city. The kids just loved me, I tell you. Whole city raised a hell of a stink when Barnum came and wanted to buy me. I was flattered beyond words but the zoo couldn’t say no to ten thousand dollars. To tell you the truth, I think they were just tired of feeding me.”
“Really? Why, if anyone were to ask me, I’d say you eat like a bird!”
Day XIX
The speed of sound was lowered today and the speed of light cut even more drastically. It is making my typing difficult. But I suppose it is necessary so that more essential services can be maintained. Momentum will only operate from 6 am to midnight on weekdays, 6 am to 6 pm on Saturdays and not at all on Sundays. But I usually stay in on weekends, so I will probably never notice any difference.
“People have said a lot of ugly things about P.T. Barnum,” my friend said as he picked toast crumbs from his chin. “But I tell you I liked the man. Yes, sir, I did! Did I ever tell you about what he did after that train hit me? Well, the man cried like a baby, he did. Bawled his eyes out. Couldn’t bear to see me buried, so he had me stuffed instead. I continued to travel with the show for years and, to tell you the truth, I hardly felt dead at all.”
“Must have saved Barnum a fortune on food, I imagine.”
“There is that, now that you mention it.”
Pluto was canceled as well as the asteroid belt and the moons of Uranus and Neptune. Just as well, I say. In my opinion they were an unnecessary waste of natural resources.
Day LVI
I see in today’s paper that they’ve decided to eliminate ghosts, poltergeists and imaginary friends. At first this worried me a little, but the elephant is hardly imaginary. And would a ghost make breakfast for me? As for being a poltergeist, I understand they are extraordinarily
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