Petty Pewter Gods

Petty Pewter Gods by Glen Cook Page B

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Authors: Glen Cook
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answered his question. “I don’t have a clue. That’s why I came home. Are you going to pay your rent?” Though he insists he is a full partner, the most work he does is aimed at getting out of doing anything constructive.
    “Right now I don’t see any choice but to play along.”
    Indeed. Wriggling out of this will require intense self-discipline and long hours of work by all concerned.
    “Don’t whine. I hate it when you whine. You were way overdue to kick in around here anyway. You could’ve saved me a ton of grief with Maggie Jenn if you would’ve just woke up.” He had unraveled the mystery at the heart of my most recent case before I had finished telling the first half of the tale. It was a case he had slept through stubbornly.
     
     

13
    It was great to be in the righteous right so solid I could bury my spurs in the Dead Man.
    “Will you hold still?” Dean snapped. “Looks like a little pus here. Let me clean it out so we won’t have to cauterize later.”
    I had a vision of my handsome face set off by a strip of scar tissue skewed across my scalp. I held still, but it hurt.
    Dean said, “Miss Tate was here while you were away, Mr. Garrett. She...”
    “She must have been watching the place.” To know he was home so soon after he arrived. Tinnie probably shouldn’t be the ex-girlfriend. She was waiting for me to make the first move toward reconciliation. I liked to think.
    “News travels fast, Mr. Garrett.”
    “Did it have some help?”
    “It’s possible.” Dean is as stubborn as I am. He is determined to get me hooked up with Tinnie Tate or Maya Stubbs, both of them beautiful, squared-away sweethearts who deserve Prince Charmings who are the real thing.
    The Dead Man sent, Miss Tate was as charming, witty, and beautiful as ever and her companion, Miss Weider, cannot be encompassed by normal superlatives. Nevertheless, their petition will have to wait.
    “Alyx Weider?” Those two must have buttered him up big. He has no use whatsoever for the female of my species — or any other species, as far as I have seen. I’m sure that is why he tries to sabotage most of my romances. He doesn’t think most women deserve me.
    Them pigs were flying formation today.
    Dean tends toward the opposing opinion.
    He said, “I believe Miss Tate did introduce her as Alyx.” He did something to my head that sent a ribbon of pain streaking from my scalp to my toenails.
    “You’re on my list, Dean. Someday I’ll get my chance to patch you up.”
    I am on retainer as chief of security at Weider’s brewery. My role is to drop in unexpectedly and check employee honesty. I saved Weider from being robbed blind a long time back. The job was my reward. Old man Weider has been trying to get me on full time ever since. There are times when a regular job looks real good, even if I would have to call somebody else boss.
    Alyx was the old man’s baby, much younger than the rest of his sprats. I had not seen her for some time. She had been a lovely but shy girl at sixteen. I was surprised to hear that she had come to the house. Her dad wasn’t the sort to let his baby girl out, especially in today’s TunFaire.
    Miss Tate brought her. There is something happening within the Weider family, possibly having to do with The Call and other radical fringe human rights groups. We owe them an interest but this mess must take precedent. Gods! Garrett! Garrett! At best you are an agnostic. But still you become entangled with a clutch of redundant deities.
    “Like I went looking for them? I’m not agnostic, though. I’m indifferent. My philosophy is, you leave the gods alone and usually they’ll leave you alone.”
    “Another one bites the dust,” Dean said.
    “Huh?” He find a nit?
    “Another of your adolescent fantasies.”
    Dean is a religious man. I never pressed him, but I do not understand his blind devotion to his peculiar monotheistic mythology when we are plagued by a thousand other deities and, obviously,

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