Phoenix Arizona by Lynn Hagen Page B

blood, and Phoenix knew there would be no cure.
    Again that feeling of knowing Matt his whole life surfaced inside of Phoenix, which only confused him further. Phoenix wasn’t sure what he should do. He was falling hard for Matt and scared of him at the same time. It was a lonely feeling, and Phoenix wanted it to go away. He wanted to crawl into Matt’s arms and hide from the world.
    But Matt was a cop.
    A damn cop.
    In a voice that sounded distant and not his own, Phoenix spoke, “I was twenty and coming home from a friend’s party one night. I hadn’t drunk any alcohol. I was there because I just wanted to hang out, have fun. I walked home. It was late, dark out, you know?” Phoenix took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “A cop car pulled up beside me, and the officer got out. He asked if I had been drinking. I swore to him I hadn’t, but he put me in the backseat anyway. I was sitting back there thinking how pissed my parents were going to be because the cop said he was taking me in for underage drinking.” The bitter tears ran freely down Phoenix’s face, and he cursed himself for letting them fall. After fighting them not to appear, they betrayed him anyway.
    “When we drove in the opposite direction of the police station, I asked him where he was taking me. He didn’t answer. I was twenty and trusted the police, so I said nothing. The car pulled through an unchained gate and behind an abandoned warehouse.” Phoenix swallowed hard as he watched a woman with her child exit the diner. The child was laughing, the mother smiling as they wandered down the street. He wished his life was as easy as that child’s, but Phoenix had had that innocence ripped away from him. He waited until the thick lump in his throat eased, and wondered why in the hell he was telling Matt any of this. The man was a cop for crying out loud.
    “He pulled me from the backseat and…and pushed me into one of the offices and—” Phoenix broke off, wiping at his eyes as he continued to stare out of the window. It had been four years since the incident, and Phoenix had pretty much buried it. Telling Matt why he hated cops only brought back those bitter emotions and memories. Again, he wanted to hate the man sitting beside him, but Phoenix couldn’t find the anger to lash out at Matt.
    “I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was just walking home from a damn party.” Phoenix wiped at his face and then continued. “Armando found me wandering the streets, took me to his house, and cleaned me up. I was even afraid of my best friend.” Phoenix laid his head back, smiling bitterly as he heard Matt’s breath coming out in small, hard pants. Yeah, the man was pissed from the sound of it, but that didn’t move Phoenix.
    “Do you know who the officer was?” Matt asked as if he were afraid Phoenix would bite his head off just for breathing. Phoenix couldn’t really blame the man, but for some strange reason, it soothed him knowing that Matt was being very careful right now.
    He shook his head. “I don’t know who he was, and I honestly don’t want to. I hadn’t paid attention to his badge number. I hadn’t even thought about looking at it. I was terrified and wasn’t thinking about anything but getting away. It took me a very long time to stop having nightmares, and I just want to forget about it.” Phoenix flicked a glare at Matt, telling the man in no uncertain terms he would not discuss this again.
    “I would never hurt you, Phoenix. I would chew my own arm off first,” Matt said carefully. “You have to believe me, pup.”
    Phoenix nodded as he sighed deeply, letting the memory fade back into its dark place in his mind to be stored away and forgotten.
     
    * * * *
     
    Matt was only a thin thread away from taking Phoenix home then going after every fucking uniformed cop in the city. He boiled with rage. How could one of his brothers do this? Who was it? He would find out and pull their entrails out through their