did you see anyone take my shit? A sex doll, not one of those blow-up ones, a life-like doll that was in one of those boxes with the word MAX written on it. You know.. because my name is Max and anything in those boxes was MINE. Understand? So? Max felt his stomach bubble. Shit, what now? Pop walked over. Something wrong, boss? Dont worry about me. Just my stomach. Wally, my boy, where the fuck is my doll? The pieces didnt just get up and walk away on their own, did they? Is that what youre telling me? Wally sat there on the ground, his eyes filling with tears of pain and fright. He didnt know anything about a theft but he pondered the questions anyway. In a span of a minute and a half he reenacted the last week on the job. I remember something. Well then fucking enlighten us, jack-off. Max stepped closer to the punk. The cat that comes around here, Greg knows what Im talking about. One day I saw it running out of here with something in his mouth. I didnt think anything of it, figured it was some garbage or something, I dont know. But it could have been a piece of the doll but Im not sure. Thats all I remember, I swear. Max looked somewhat pleased. He doubted the kid would be so stupid as to lie to him and especially make up a lie like that. 56 Piecemeal June A cat? Thats ridiculous. Greg, what cat is he talking about? Greg looked down at his shoes. One of my tenants has a cat, sometimes comes down here. He lives upstairs. What apartment, Greg? Max lifted his chin and smiled. With a frown, Greg said, Upstairs. First door on the right. Max farted. A loud, trumpet-like call exited his ass and sent Pop walking away. Greg dared not move. Shit, my fucking stomachs killing me. Pop, take care of the guy upstairs. Im getting the fuck out of here, I gotta take a real mean shit. Pop pointed to the backroom. Just use the bathroom here. Yeah, Im gonna use the fucking bathroom in a porn shop, fucking cum puddles everywhere, you kidding me? Id rather shit in the street. He quickly ran out farting while Pop and Greg looked at each other and exchanged giggles. * * * Anyone home? Pop knocked again. He didnt think he really needed to but he figured hed give the guy the benefit of the doubt and let him answer the door like a gentleman. Then Pop would lay into him. With one downward motion, Pop breaks the doorknob with his fist sending the thing down the steps. He leaned into the door and pushed it open. Im coming in, motherfucker, ready or not. Ten minutes of searching the apartment left Pop with nothing to report back to Max. During the search, he made sure to smash the television, break the records and CDs in pieces, and kick several holes in the walls. Just as he was finishing throwing the contents of the refrigerator onto the kitchen floor, his stomach gurgled. Shit. 57 Jordan Krall It was a sharp, sudden pain of gas that started right below his belly button. He doubled over in pain as wet, warm gas escaped out of his asshole. Pop ran into the bathroom and sat down, barely having time to pull down his pants when his bowels exploded in a cacophony of rippling farts. GodDAMN! He leaned his head on his hands and sighed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something moving. It was Mithra, coming out from under Kevins bed and walking across the floor. He stopped in front of the bathroom and sat. Oh, look who decided to come out, you little bastard. Pop picked up the bar of soap from the sink and threw it at the cat, hitting it in the ribs. Mithra squealed and ran back into Kevins room. The toilet made a sound. What the fuck? An abrasive chiming echoed out of the water, causing Pops diarrhea to bubble like stew on a stove. He sat up, liquid shit running down the backs of his thighs, and turned to look into the bowl. Oh for Christs sake, what now? A small burst shot out of the toilet, sending a tidal wave of feces and brown water up and onto Pop. He yelled, stepped back, and tripped backwards, falling on his ass. Another small eruption came next
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