singing in class.
Always put your hand up before you ask a question.
Don't swallow the gum or it will get stuck in your guts
and you'll die.
Jumping in the puddle means you're a retard (I don't even
agree with this one).
Going around the puddle means you're a girl.
The last one in close the door.
The first one to answer the question loves the teacher.
If a girl looks at you three times in a row it means she
loves you.
If you look at her back you love her.
He who smelt it dealt it.
He who denied it supplied it.
He who sensed it dispensed it.
He who knew it blew it.
He who noted it floated it.
He who declared it aired it.
He who spoke it broke it.
He who exposed it composed it.
He who blamed it flamed it.
(All these are just for farts.)
If you look at the back of a mirror you'll see the devil.
Don't eat the soup. The dinner ladies pissed in it.
Don't lend Ross Kelly your pen. He picks his arse klinkers
with it.
Keep to the left (everywhere). The right is out of bounds.
The library stairs are safe.
If he wears a pinky ring he's a gay (a pinky ring is a ring
on your little finger).
If she wears a bracelet on her ankle she's a lesbian (shags
it up with other ladies).
There are more but my memory ran out. My arse means you don't believe it. It's just the same as calling them a liar.
X-Fire wouldn't let us past. They were waiting outside the cafeteria. They were all standing in our way and they wouldn't move. You didn't know if it was a trick or for real.
Dizzy: 'What's up, pussy boys?'
Clipz: 'I heard you failed the first test. That's weak, man!'
I wanted to be a bomb. I wanted to knock them all down. That's what it felt like. I kept waiting for him to laugh but his face was still hard like he meant it. Like we were enemies.
X-Fire: 'Don't worry, Ghana. I'll think of something easier for you next time, you'll be alright. What you got then, Ginger?'
Dean went all stiff. My belly went cold.
Dean: 'I ain't got nothing.'
Dizzy: 'Don't lie to us, man. What's in your pockets? Show me.'
We couldn't move. He had to show them or we'd never get past. It wasn't even fair.
Dean: 'I've got a quid, that's it. I need it.'
Dizzy: 'Yeah well, shit happens, innit.'
He took Dean's quid. There was nothing you could do to stop it. He was very sad, you could tell. He should have put it back in his sock after dinner. I wished I had a quid instead but Mamma only gives me the correct money and no extra.
Dean: 'Fâing hell, man.'
Dizzy: 'Don't be fronting me you little bitch, I'll batter you.'
In the end they let us past. I felt sorry for Dean for having his quid stolen but I couldn't help admiring it. I wish I could make them do what I say. If I was the big fish all the little fish would be scared of me. They'd get out of my way so I had the sea all to myself and all the food in it. I'd only let my favourite little fishes work for me, like when the pilot fish eats all the seadust off the shark to stop his gills getting blocked up (I read about it in my Creatures of the Deep book, only Iop from the market).
Me: 'It's only because I'm black. If you were black they'd let you in the gang as well.'
Dean: 'I don't wanna be in their stupid gang, all they do is rob people. Don't go with them, they're numpties.'
Me: 'I was only pretending so they wouldn't rough us too bad.'
Dean: 'I hate them, man.'
Me: 'Me too.'
Somebody left an old mattress on the green. There were a hell of smaller kids already playing on it. We told them to get off.
Dean: 'Piss off or we'll batter you!'
We let the smaller kids watch. I did about ten flips. Dean did about five. It was nearly as good as a real trampoline. I got really high. I was the only one who could nearly do a double flip. Some of the smaller kids cheered. It was brutal. We were there for donkey hours. You forgot about being hungry, you just wanted to get higher every time.
We were going to own the mattress. We were going to charge the smaller kids 5op to jump on it. It was Dean's idea.
Dean:
Always put your hand up before you ask a question.
Don't swallow the gum or it will get stuck in your guts
and you'll die.
Jumping in the puddle means you're a retard (I don't even
agree with this one).
Going around the puddle means you're a girl.
The last one in close the door.
The first one to answer the question loves the teacher.
If a girl looks at you three times in a row it means she
loves you.
If you look at her back you love her.
He who smelt it dealt it.
He who denied it supplied it.
He who sensed it dispensed it.
He who knew it blew it.
He who noted it floated it.
He who declared it aired it.
He who spoke it broke it.
He who exposed it composed it.
He who blamed it flamed it.
(All these are just for farts.)
If you look at the back of a mirror you'll see the devil.
Don't eat the soup. The dinner ladies pissed in it.
Don't lend Ross Kelly your pen. He picks his arse klinkers
with it.
Keep to the left (everywhere). The right is out of bounds.
The library stairs are safe.
If he wears a pinky ring he's a gay (a pinky ring is a ring
on your little finger).
If she wears a bracelet on her ankle she's a lesbian (shags
it up with other ladies).
There are more but my memory ran out. My arse means you don't believe it. It's just the same as calling them a liar.
X-Fire wouldn't let us past. They were waiting outside the cafeteria. They were all standing in our way and they wouldn't move. You didn't know if it was a trick or for real.
Dizzy: 'What's up, pussy boys?'
Clipz: 'I heard you failed the first test. That's weak, man!'
I wanted to be a bomb. I wanted to knock them all down. That's what it felt like. I kept waiting for him to laugh but his face was still hard like he meant it. Like we were enemies.
X-Fire: 'Don't worry, Ghana. I'll think of something easier for you next time, you'll be alright. What you got then, Ginger?'
Dean went all stiff. My belly went cold.
Dean: 'I ain't got nothing.'
Dizzy: 'Don't lie to us, man. What's in your pockets? Show me.'
We couldn't move. He had to show them or we'd never get past. It wasn't even fair.
Dean: 'I've got a quid, that's it. I need it.'
Dizzy: 'Yeah well, shit happens, innit.'
He took Dean's quid. There was nothing you could do to stop it. He was very sad, you could tell. He should have put it back in his sock after dinner. I wished I had a quid instead but Mamma only gives me the correct money and no extra.
Dean: 'Fâing hell, man.'
Dizzy: 'Don't be fronting me you little bitch, I'll batter you.'
In the end they let us past. I felt sorry for Dean for having his quid stolen but I couldn't help admiring it. I wish I could make them do what I say. If I was the big fish all the little fish would be scared of me. They'd get out of my way so I had the sea all to myself and all the food in it. I'd only let my favourite little fishes work for me, like when the pilot fish eats all the seadust off the shark to stop his gills getting blocked up (I read about it in my Creatures of the Deep book, only Iop from the market).
Me: 'It's only because I'm black. If you were black they'd let you in the gang as well.'
Dean: 'I don't wanna be in their stupid gang, all they do is rob people. Don't go with them, they're numpties.'
Me: 'I was only pretending so they wouldn't rough us too bad.'
Dean: 'I hate them, man.'
Me: 'Me too.'
Somebody left an old mattress on the green. There were a hell of smaller kids already playing on it. We told them to get off.
Dean: 'Piss off or we'll batter you!'
We let the smaller kids watch. I did about ten flips. Dean did about five. It was nearly as good as a real trampoline. I got really high. I was the only one who could nearly do a double flip. Some of the smaller kids cheered. It was brutal. We were there for donkey hours. You forgot about being hungry, you just wanted to get higher every time.
We were going to own the mattress. We were going to charge the smaller kids 5op to jump on it. It was Dean's idea.
Dean:
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