Duncan’s own past romances.
But to Duncan, that night had seemed the exclamation point to the long, rambling sentence of their year together. Passing cheeky notes with Lorna and Paul during mind-numbing psych lectures. Seeing each other in the hallway here at the flat, at each other’s best (before parties) and worst (hungover the following mornings). Always revolving around the same places and people, coming ever closer to collision, like satellites in unstable orbits.
Time was running out. In a few weeks, Brodie would go home to Geoffrey, and Duncan might never discover whether they were meant to be just mates. Or whether they could be something more.
= = =
Brodie said goodbye to Geoffrey, then lay back on his pillow to think. Unlike the call with his mother last night, he’d never expected this conversation. He’d assumed Geoffrey was gone from his life for good.
Now they were going to be…what, friends? Just like they swore they’d be last September when they’d left for university, before Geoffrey decided to pretend Brodie had never existed? What if Geoffrey discarded him again?
The thought didn’t slice through him as it once had. Apparently his heart had formed a Geoffrey-proof shield.
He looked at Duncan, sitting a few feet away at the desk, bobbing his head to the music in his earphones. Brodie could still hear echoes of Duncan’s drunken laughter chasing him down the hall the night before vacation. Building a Duncan-proof shield was a task he definitely wasn’t up to. He couldn’t even bring himself to mention last night’s fight with Ma, knowing it would lead to tears.
So why had he wanted Duncan to stay while he talked to Geoffrey? Thinking back to the moment he’d heard his ex’s ringtone, Brodie realized he hadn’t wanted to be alone. He needed to stay strong in the face of Geoffrey’s emotions. And strangely enough, Duncan, who’d once made him feel so weak, now seemed a source of strength.
Brodie’s phone beeped with a Facebook notification. Another comment on the sponge-bath thread, no doubt. He’d made such an arse of himself.
After a glance at this latest Spongebob Squarepants quote ( Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets! ), Brodie scrolled up to his original comment, preparing to delete it. Avoid embarrassment and exposure at all costs—that was how he’d always lived.
Then he stopped, thinking of everything he’d said to Geoffrey. How they should be proud of who they were. How their pride changed the way others thought of them, and of gays in general. How the more “out” they were, the more “normal” they would come to seem.
Everywhere you look, his mother had said, there they are.
Aye, Ma, we are. He looked at Duncan. Even on the football pitch.
“What if we pretend it was you?”
Duncan turned halfway in the chair and took out an earphone. “Pretend who was me?”
“The original poster on this thread, the one who missed the lad in the Passenger shirt. You could answer my Spongebob comment, then I’d reply, and so on.”
Duncan furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Just for a lark.”
“But what if people think we’re serious?”
“We’ll make it funny.”
“They’ll still think we’re gay.”
“We are gay. And we’re both out.”
“Yeah, but this is a public site with thousands of strangers. You sure you’re okay with—”
“Forget it. I’m away for a shower.” Brodie slid out of bed and went to his wardrobe for clean clothes, feeling utterly knocked back. If Duncan didn’t want to be linked with him online, he clearly wasn’t interested in a real-life connection.
After his shower, Brodie returned to his room. Duncan didn’t even look up from his notes. Determined to be equally focused on exams, Brodie grabbed his statistics textbook and sat on his bed.
The notification light on his phone was blinking blue. Facebook.
He checked the app to find a new comment on the thread.
Duncan Harris: I think you meant
But to Duncan, that night had seemed the exclamation point to the long, rambling sentence of their year together. Passing cheeky notes with Lorna and Paul during mind-numbing psych lectures. Seeing each other in the hallway here at the flat, at each other’s best (before parties) and worst (hungover the following mornings). Always revolving around the same places and people, coming ever closer to collision, like satellites in unstable orbits.
Time was running out. In a few weeks, Brodie would go home to Geoffrey, and Duncan might never discover whether they were meant to be just mates. Or whether they could be something more.
= = =
Brodie said goodbye to Geoffrey, then lay back on his pillow to think. Unlike the call with his mother last night, he’d never expected this conversation. He’d assumed Geoffrey was gone from his life for good.
Now they were going to be…what, friends? Just like they swore they’d be last September when they’d left for university, before Geoffrey decided to pretend Brodie had never existed? What if Geoffrey discarded him again?
The thought didn’t slice through him as it once had. Apparently his heart had formed a Geoffrey-proof shield.
He looked at Duncan, sitting a few feet away at the desk, bobbing his head to the music in his earphones. Brodie could still hear echoes of Duncan’s drunken laughter chasing him down the hall the night before vacation. Building a Duncan-proof shield was a task he definitely wasn’t up to. He couldn’t even bring himself to mention last night’s fight with Ma, knowing it would lead to tears.
So why had he wanted Duncan to stay while he talked to Geoffrey? Thinking back to the moment he’d heard his ex’s ringtone, Brodie realized he hadn’t wanted to be alone. He needed to stay strong in the face of Geoffrey’s emotions. And strangely enough, Duncan, who’d once made him feel so weak, now seemed a source of strength.
Brodie’s phone beeped with a Facebook notification. Another comment on the sponge-bath thread, no doubt. He’d made such an arse of himself.
After a glance at this latest Spongebob Squarepants quote ( Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets! ), Brodie scrolled up to his original comment, preparing to delete it. Avoid embarrassment and exposure at all costs—that was how he’d always lived.
Then he stopped, thinking of everything he’d said to Geoffrey. How they should be proud of who they were. How their pride changed the way others thought of them, and of gays in general. How the more “out” they were, the more “normal” they would come to seem.
Everywhere you look, his mother had said, there they are.
Aye, Ma, we are. He looked at Duncan. Even on the football pitch.
“What if we pretend it was you?”
Duncan turned halfway in the chair and took out an earphone. “Pretend who was me?”
“The original poster on this thread, the one who missed the lad in the Passenger shirt. You could answer my Spongebob comment, then I’d reply, and so on.”
Duncan furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Just for a lark.”
“But what if people think we’re serious?”
“We’ll make it funny.”
“They’ll still think we’re gay.”
“We are gay. And we’re both out.”
“Yeah, but this is a public site with thousands of strangers. You sure you’re okay with—”
“Forget it. I’m away for a shower.” Brodie slid out of bed and went to his wardrobe for clean clothes, feeling utterly knocked back. If Duncan didn’t want to be linked with him online, he clearly wasn’t interested in a real-life connection.
After his shower, Brodie returned to his room. Duncan didn’t even look up from his notes. Determined to be equally focused on exams, Brodie grabbed his statistics textbook and sat on his bed.
The notification light on his phone was blinking blue. Facebook.
He checked the app to find a new comment on the thread.
Duncan Harris: I think you meant
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