ex--more than once. Then her brother, then her ex-housekeeper Kelly, then the woman at the prison--Laurice, the judge at her divorce trial, the officers who arrested her...soon she was punching away her feelings of inadequacy, fear of being alone, her sense of failure. She punched and then kicked the bag until her entire body trembled from exertion, sweat covering her. Then she threw off her gloves and screamed. "I don't want to be this way! I don't want to scare people. I want to be happy again. Every day I'm in pain. Every day hurts so much. I want things to be different!" She screamed again, until her voice was hoarse. Then she slid to the ground, brought her knees to her chest, lowered her head and sobbed. After a few moments she heard clapping. But not just one pair of hands, a group. Stacy heard applause. She cautiously lifted her head and saw the other woman from the group, cheering her.
Stacy hesitated wondering why they were smiling at her and wondering if the friendly gesture was a trick. Then she realized she didn't want to always be suspicious. She wanted to learn to trust again. She stood.
"Are you ready to take responsibility for your life?" Mora said coming forward.
"Yes."
She stood in front of Stacy and placed her hands on her hips."Life throws crap at all of us. Remember our stories aren't about our setbacks but our triumphs." She pointed to a petite woman, who looked like a former high school cheerleader. "Her ex sent her to the ER three times and still got custody of the kids." She pointed to another woman, tall elegant, dark skinned. "Her boss made sure she went down for an embezzlement scheme he committed. Do you know what separates the winners from the losers in life? It's not luck. It's how you respond to adversity. The losers give up and blame others. The winners take responsibility for their actions and focus on what they can control. The moment you can do that, the world is yours. So who's fault is it that your ex got alimony?"
Stacy's eyes widened. "You really want me to say that was my fault? He--"
"Had more friends than you. More influence than you. Why was that? Why did you let your friends disappear? Only one stayed. Where did the others go? Was it his fault?"
"No."
"Was it his fault that you decided to dedicate books to him he didn't help you write? Or that you gave up your dreams for him? Or that you buried yourself so that you could see him shine? You made a choice. He just exploited it. So again, I ask you, whose fault is it that your ex got alimony?"
Stacy gritted her teeth. "If I'd had a better lawyer."
Mora's gaze sharpened. "And whose fault is that? You chose him."
"I was stressed out and--"
"Stop making excuses." She jabbed Stacy's chest. "You chose a bad lawyer." She jabbed her again. "You chose a bad husband." And again. "You chose friends who dropped you when you needed them most. It's not about blame. It's about ownership. Everything in life has a cause and effect. If you drink poison and get sick, you can't blame the poison."
Stacy threw up her hands. "Fine. I admit I'm the biggest idiot in the world. And I deserve all that's happened to me."
Mora shook her head. "You're not an idiot, you're human. And humans make mistakes. The moment you can admit that you've made some bad choices you can forgive yourself and start making right ones."
"Forgive myself?"
"Yes. Stacy, it's as simple as that. You can't trust others when you don't trust yourself. You have to believe in yourself again."
***
Stacy returned home feeling good about herself, when her phone rang. "I've been waiting," her brother said after she answered.
Stacy gripped the phone then remembered all that she'd learned from anger management. She had to respond not react. She couldn't let him push her buttons. Stacy took a deep breath and checked Houdini's water bowl to make sure it was full then flopped down on the couch. "Why?"
"You said you'd call me back."
Stacy silently counted to ten.
Stacy hesitated wondering why they were smiling at her and wondering if the friendly gesture was a trick. Then she realized she didn't want to always be suspicious. She wanted to learn to trust again. She stood.
"Are you ready to take responsibility for your life?" Mora said coming forward.
"Yes."
She stood in front of Stacy and placed her hands on her hips."Life throws crap at all of us. Remember our stories aren't about our setbacks but our triumphs." She pointed to a petite woman, who looked like a former high school cheerleader. "Her ex sent her to the ER three times and still got custody of the kids." She pointed to another woman, tall elegant, dark skinned. "Her boss made sure she went down for an embezzlement scheme he committed. Do you know what separates the winners from the losers in life? It's not luck. It's how you respond to adversity. The losers give up and blame others. The winners take responsibility for their actions and focus on what they can control. The moment you can do that, the world is yours. So who's fault is it that your ex got alimony?"
Stacy's eyes widened. "You really want me to say that was my fault? He--"
"Had more friends than you. More influence than you. Why was that? Why did you let your friends disappear? Only one stayed. Where did the others go? Was it his fault?"
"No."
"Was it his fault that you decided to dedicate books to him he didn't help you write? Or that you gave up your dreams for him? Or that you buried yourself so that you could see him shine? You made a choice. He just exploited it. So again, I ask you, whose fault is it that your ex got alimony?"
Stacy gritted her teeth. "If I'd had a better lawyer."
Mora's gaze sharpened. "And whose fault is that? You chose him."
"I was stressed out and--"
"Stop making excuses." She jabbed Stacy's chest. "You chose a bad lawyer." She jabbed her again. "You chose a bad husband." And again. "You chose friends who dropped you when you needed them most. It's not about blame. It's about ownership. Everything in life has a cause and effect. If you drink poison and get sick, you can't blame the poison."
Stacy threw up her hands. "Fine. I admit I'm the biggest idiot in the world. And I deserve all that's happened to me."
Mora shook her head. "You're not an idiot, you're human. And humans make mistakes. The moment you can admit that you've made some bad choices you can forgive yourself and start making right ones."
"Forgive myself?"
"Yes. Stacy, it's as simple as that. You can't trust others when you don't trust yourself. You have to believe in yourself again."
***
Stacy returned home feeling good about herself, when her phone rang. "I've been waiting," her brother said after she answered.
Stacy gripped the phone then remembered all that she'd learned from anger management. She had to respond not react. She couldn't let him push her buttons. Stacy took a deep breath and checked Houdini's water bowl to make sure it was full then flopped down on the couch. "Why?"
"You said you'd call me back."
Stacy silently counted to ten.
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