Playschool by Colin Thompson Page A

walked back to the road. ‘Wait,’ said Orkward. He took a jar out of his pocket, scooped a big lump of polish out of Matron’s tin and put it in the jar.
    â€˜You better take the Enchanted Wax back,’ he said. ‘I’m going to hide this here in the bushes for next time.’
    â€˜I think I’ll just creep up and leave it outside Matron’s door,’ said The Toad. ‘She’s a bit formidable when she’s angry.’

Lesson: Economics and Other Forms of Burglary
Teacher: Aubergine Wealth
    The two strongest boys in the class stood behind Aubergine Wealth, who was stuck in the doorway, and pushed. This was always happening, not because he was too fat, but because he had so much money, his wallet wouldn’t fit through the door.
    â€˜Thank you, boys, and a gold star to each of you for stealing my gold watch and signet ring without my realising it,’ he said. ‘Today, we will continue working on our plan to remove all the gold from Fort Knox, but first I’d like Morbid and Silent to give us their report on how they got on “borrowing” the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London.’
    Morbid and Silent went to the front of the class. They were each wearing a priceless crown. Morbid was carrying the royal sceptre and Silent the golden ball.
    â€˜Well, as you can see,’ announced Morbid, ‘we achieved our goal.’

    The rest of the class, except Orkward Warlock, cheered. The only treasure Orkward had ever managed to steal was a jar of marmalade from the school kitchen. Although he was useless at theft and international money laundering, and consistently failed Aubergine Wealth’s class, this was not really Orkward’s fault. When the boy had been sent to the school at the age of three days, his parents had paid Quicklime’s headmaster, Professor Throat, NB, PDF, PS, to cast a spell that made it impossible for Orkward to leave the valley. The last thing they wanted was their beloved son turning up unexpectedly. 21
    â€˜We also got this,’ said Morbid, dragging a chair out from behind a cupboard. ‘King Edward’s coronation chair.’
    Silent grunted and proudly held up the chair, which had a small pink cauliflower sitting on it.
    â€˜Oh yes,’ Morbid added. ‘We also got a bonus –a prince’s brain.’

    â€˜Oh, well now, I’m not sure that was such a good idea,’ said Aubergine Wealth.
    â€˜Well, sir, we thought that too. So we put it back, but no one could tell the difference, so we thought, what the hell, and kept it.’
    â€˜No, no,’ said Aubergine. ‘That’s not what I meant. The reason I said it wasn’t such a good idea is that it’s not really worth anything, is it?’
    â€˜Actually, sir,’ said Morbid, ‘we’ve had sevenbids for it on eBay. It’s up to seven hundred dollars so far.’
    Silent was so excited that he nearly spoke. Not that anyone could tell, though later on when they got home Silent handed his twin a piece of paper, which said: ‘I got so excited today I nearly spoke.’
    â€˜Ah! Now that, boys and girls, is what this class is all about – enterprise and the unbridled joy of making lots of money,’ said Aubergine Wealth. ‘Well done the Flood twins, ten out of ten and two gold stars.’
    Orkward was livid. It seems that whatever the lesson was, the wretched Floods always got top marks and a gold star. He could feel the veins in his head beginning to throb and that meant only one thing. As soon as he possibly could, he would have to kick someone smaller than he was.

All The Toad could think of was going back to Narled and his family. Matron’s polish could wait. While Orkward was busy hiding his jar and marking the spot with some twigs so he could find it again, The Toad went round a bend in the path and hid behind a tree. A few minutes later Orkward went by and The Toad walked back into the